January 2006 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I wish there were books on this subject
I don't know how to approach my mom & brother about finding my half-sister. Obviously, I need to tell my brother. But I know he's really sensitive & weird so there's a chance he might react badly. And then there's mom, she's going to find out (and I'd rather it be from me) but I know she'll take it personally and it'll dredge up all sorts of bad feelings towards my father. I'm happy to find her, she's happy that I found her (because she was looking for us too), and I want to get to know her. I don't expect some fantastic lovely-sisterly relationship and we're taking it slow. She's thinking about making a trip to Chicago after the holidays when the weather is nicer so we can meet up. It's just such a strange situation to be in.
Re: I wish there were books on this subject
It is bound to be strange. I don't think there is any way around that. Just make sure that your mom knows that your relationship with her is in no way threatened by this. I know it sounds silly, but I would probably be a little insecure if one of my close family members was suddenly finding other family.
Did you mom know about this woman before you did?
I just a friendly gal looking for options.
strange, but not entirely unusual.
i found my younger half-sister some time ago, but never found out how to contact her. i tried getting my biodad's info from my mother (she has it, i don't) but she keeps putting me off, she just doesn't want to see me make relationships with this part of my family.
*sigh* there should be some sort of online support group to help you contact these people, and to mediate when you're not sure how it will work out.
sorry to postjack, but i understand. good luck though, at the very least you know you've had a strong start.
My mom used to write the child support checks back in the day for my dad.
ali, it sounds like your heart is in the right place, and your family knows this. from what you've said, your mom knows it's not about her, and she knows that her kids would want to know. it's not nothing, but it's not everything, either.
if anything, i would tell your mom first; she might better know how to approach your brother.
Ali, I would look up some books about adoptees finding their family or support group for adoptees who've found their family.
FWIW, I would tell you that telling them is far easier than not. My favorite aunt, P, is the daughter my grandmother gave up for adoption. P found us when she was in her early 20s and kept it from her adopted parents. She DIDN'T keep it from her brother (who was also adopted). Long story short, it's now been used against her as an airing out of the family skeletons by sh!thead family members. Plus, everytime I called/wrote/e-mailed her, I was VERY careful (and grandma was too) to not sign, Your niece, to my favorite aunt, etc., b/c you never know who might be looking. We were careful when we visited and her parents would call.
Save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache. Just be honest and truthful. You might wait until the relationship has progressed a bit more so that you KNOW you want to have a relationship first. No need to crack eggs if you're not going to use them.