Sex & Romance
heatherg11485
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I've got competition...with the computer?!?!
Anyone feel like they're a back burner to the computer? The hubby came home from work today at 11am, hung out at the pool for bout half an hour with me. He came home, had all afternoon with the (cleaned) house to himself while I stayed at the pool. I came home around three. I sat by myself on the couch watching tv, playing on the internet aka being bored while the hubby was still playing on the computer. He said he was gonna order pizza for dinner, asked what I wanted on it, etc...an hour later he had yet to order it so I made a nice dinner for the two of us. He sat with me long enough to eat and watch part of a sitcom. He then ran to the store for bout 15 mins, got home and guess what? Back to the computer while I'm downstairs by myself again. I undestand he needs his time and I feel an hour or two max is a reasonable time to play on the computer. But sometimes it can be up to seven hours a night! Really? Am I being completely unreasonable about wanting to spend more time together? We've discussed it several times and it always comes down to "I like playing." Advice is welcomed 
Re: I've got competition...with the computer?!?!
7 hours a night is excessive.
And you're not being proactive enough.
I'd lock that computer so that he cannot use it -- password it.
It is entirely possible to be addicted to gaming. SOunds to me that this is where he's headed.
You might also want to drop into AlAnon and bounce this off them. AlAnon is for those who have loved ones who have a substance addiction; your situation wild still apply since he's evidently got an addiction to gaming.
He needs to get up off his ass and start spending quality time with you and not on line gaming. Don't take that lame "I like gaming" for an answer.
Here's another thing: gee, he's such the man of leisure that he gets to spend 7 hours per night on the computer. Doesn't he have things to do when he gets home -- take care of his laundry, make his lunch for next day, help YOU out around the house or with whatever chores: shopping, cleaning and whatnot?
You mollycoddle this guy too much. Yeah, buddy: you like gaming but your wife would also like a full marriage partner that gets up off his duff and does something constructive for 7 hours!
I watched a Dr. Phil on this only a couple hours ago....
He is definitely addicted 7 hours is insane....
I guess I don't have any advice sorry.
How old is he?
My DH likes to game, and I don't mind. I grew up playing with my dad and brother, so I actually play with DH. Its his passion and also something we can enjoy together at times. However, he also plays without me, and we have boundaries in place. We know which nights he plays, and how long. Some other nights we want alone time to wind down, and he plays. BUT on those evenings, if I want to do something with him, he finishes up what he's doing and then spends time with me.
Same goes for me. I like doing certain things, but love him more. Its all about making each other a priority.
Stop being passive, and don't sit around being bored. Go do something. DH is being inappropriate, but he's spending time enjoying himself. Instead of making him dinner and cleaning up for him, do something for yourself. If your DH is smart he'll wise up and realize his mistake. At the very least you'll be enjoying yourself instead of allowing DH to keep you chained to the couch and bored.
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Hmmm....I think trying to ban it or expressing in any way that you hate it & you want to forbid him to do it or anything like that would just backfire. I've dealt with similar things with my husband--not gaming, but other obsessions/phases he's gone through where he's been REALLY into one thing or another. My suggestion is basically just to make plans to do other things with him. People often get sucked into games or tv out of habit, boredom, or just not having any other obligation for their time.
Some (cheap!) fun things we do together: go to free (or cheap!) beer tastings at local bars/breweries, free night at the museum, skateboarding/longboarding, Shakespeare in the Park, tickets to ball games/concerts, play on my company softball team, make happy hour plans with friends, go to the movies (or rent a movie you both want to see), make a date to play board games, go to the beach & play arcade games
, go for a bike ride, go for a hike in the woods, make reservations at a restaurant, bar trivia night, et cetera
I agree. There are lots of things you guys can do together that are cost efficient ad that is an alternative to spending time in front of the computer. Take advantage of the great weather and your time off (you mentioned you were a teacher).
Nope; anybody who spends 7 hours at a clip at a computer not doing anything essential has a problem.
You're not comfortable locking his computer? Fine -- then let him give up sitting there for 7 hours at a clip and let him do something constructive with you or by himself during that time.