August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can I vent?
Since bringing Myles home everyone (including my well meaning dad) keeps saying " Oh now that the pressures off you can have your own baby"
Ok 1- Myles IS my own baby
2- No amount of pressure is going to fix DH's swimmers or my jacked up uterus.
I almost snapped at my well meaning older neighbor woman who said "he'll never know that he's not yours, because you've had him all along, it's almost like he really is your baby" really woman?
I guess I wasn't really expecting that reaction from so many people, I knew it was going to happen, I just wasn't prepared for it to happen as much as it does.
That's all. Thanks ladies.
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Re: Can I vent?
The things some people say will never sieze to amaze me! I think people don't use their brains before opening their mouths 99% of the time.
Myles is YOUR child and I am glad you know that. Myles will know your his mommy because you are his mommy. Myles is so cute I love all of his pictures.
This.
Me too.
Coulda fooled me. I think Myles looks just like you. Throat punch the next person who tells you otherwise.
Just a curious question. What kind of adoption did you guys do? Open? semi-open? etc.
Me three! People don't get it.
Shudder.
So many people just don't get what adoption or even what parenthood is all about. The ability to give birth doesn't make you a parent. The ability to raise a child is what makes you a parent.
You're Myles' mum. You may not have given birth to him, but you sure as heck are the mother raising him, and that's the important step. You've got the hard, for-life job.
Hang in there. They're coming from a place of well meaning ignorance. Fantastic educator that you are, I know you'll straighten them out!
I have to say, my jaw hit the floor when you mentioned the woman who suggested that you don't tell Myles that he's adopted. I totally shouldn't be surprised, as that's what my aunt has done with her two kids. Let me tell you, when that cat came out of the bag (because it always does when everyone knows), it was a BAD scene.
One of my favourite things another aunt of mine has done with her kids (I have a ton of adopted kids in the family) is celebrate a "gotcha day" in addition to their birthdays. Basically, they celebrate their kids homecoming.That's been something that's made the cousins feel really special - that although they were adopted, unlike birth kids, my aunt and uncle CHOSE them.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I love and agree with everything in this post.
I agree with all of this, especially the bold part. You are his mom and he will grow up knowing that. People can be so insensitive sometimes.
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
Thank you ladies! I know they don't mean to be hurtful, it's just frustrating. I totally think he looks like me, but I'm biased
We have a semi open adoption. Where she knows our first names, and we met her. We have a po box that we send her pictures and letters to, and we're hoping when he's older to meet up so he can at least get to know his big brother.
I'm late to this, but complete agree with everyone else.
You can tell them that they are welcome to say that again when you are up in the middle of the night with Myles when he is crying for his mama...and you're the only one who can comfort him. You are his mom is every sense of the word that has any importance whatsoever.
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
I'm really late but I just wanted to say...
Kaesha I love the "Gotcha" days idea. It's like another birthday! And it's doubly (is that even a word??) special.
Doubly is most definitely a word.
It is like a birthday, except it reinforces the idea that it's not just the birth that needs celebrating!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I have to admit I'm kinda sad I never got a gotcha day celebration growing up, but also my adoption day was VERY close to my birthday so we didn't.
Myles will definitely be getting a gotcha day celebration (as soon as we get that date)