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Wedding Help - Iranian Wedding

I posted last week about needing to find a dress for an Iranian wedding... Well I still haven't found anything.  DH finally just said to wear black dress pants and a nice top so hat's my fall back option.  But I need some clarification.

The invitation says it starts at 6 however the groom (friend of ours) said to get there at 6:45 since the first hour is all praying.  To me this is showing up late and I'd feel awkward walking in then. We've already been told it's going to be incredibly boring.  What would you do?

 Another question - the invite says no boxed gifts which basically means they want ONLY money.  Can I still get a "traditional" wedding card (obviously not a religious one).  I wanted to get them a gift card to bed bath and beyond but DH said no we'll give money.  (he's lived at home all his life, has NO bills, and has a 6 figure income for the past 5 years)

 Sorry for all the questions. 

Re: Wedding Help - Iranian Wedding

  • of course you should still get a card and just put the $$ in it.  If they say it's OK to show up late, then it's OK. Or you could skip the (boring) ceremony all together and just attend the FUN reception!

    have a great time, I think it'll be a really fun wedding! (and by wedding I mean the reception)

     

  • I've been to one Muslim wedding but it was Indian so I am not sure what, if anything, translates - but here is how the wedding flowed.  Brides family got there at the invitation time.  They served a few courses of food.  About an hour later, the grooms family arrived.  At that time the bride kneeled on a pedestal on the side of the room surrounded and obscured from view by all of her female friends.  The groom went to the front of the room where two chairs were placed.  The Imam traveled between them to do the wedding vows and prayers.  The couple was pronounced married.  After about 15 minutes of congratulating from wedding guests, the bride made her way to the front of the room where the groom was and both of them received leis of flowers.  Second round of eating ensued during which the bride and the groom received guests and their gifts.  After that there was a lot of other observances, but I believe they were Indian traditions and a lot more courses of food.  There was no dancing and the wedding party lasted about 4 hours after the ceremony.          
  • Many Iranians are not Muslim

     

  • imageSofka:

    of course you should still get a card and just put the $$ in it.  If they say it's OK to show up late, then it's OK. Or you could skip the (boring) ceremony all together and just attend the FUN reception!

    have a great time, I think it'll be a really fun wedding! (and by wedding I mean the reception)

     

     

    This is a very traditional Iranian wedding from what I've been told already.  There is not going to be a "fun reception".  It'll be weird because it's all toasts and speaches, no music, no dancing etc.  I also have to be fully covered so trying to find a long dressy dress (maxi dresse's don't work on my figure) is impossible. 

  • I believe Whinesnotwines had some Persian elements in her wedding (although, not a "very traditional" Iranian wedding)... hopefully, she'll answer...
  • Interesting... I had a Persian wedding myself, and I've been to other Persian weddings, and there was always music, dancing, and a typical reception. There was no prayer or anything religious. I'm not sure what's going on at your wedding. If there's no "reception" and it's just a bunch of people praying, and you don't belong to their religion, I'd consider just sending a gift and not attending.

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  • imageSofka:

    Many Iranians are not Muslim

     

    Oh, I know. She had earlier said in her dress post that there was no alcohol and dancing - that led me to believe that they were Muslim.

  • hmmm...I went to a Persian wedding and I thought the ceremony was really cool. It was all in Farsi but they had 'narrators' exclaiming what was happening in English.

    It did actually start about an hour after the invite said but I just chalked this up to everything I had been to with this couple starting really, really late.

    if they say to get there late, I would get there late. Also, I would just give money in a traditional wedding or congrats card. The GC idea might be more of a pain to them and it is basically forcing them to spend money at BBB.

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  • imagevictoria1212:

    It did actually start about an hour after the invite said but I just chalked this up to everything I had been to with this couple starting really, really late.



    LOL. I don't want to sound stereotypical or anything, but there is a phenomenon called "Persian time." Everything starts at least an hour later than what the invite says. Sometimes 2-3 hours later.  I'm always late and it drives DH nuts. I tell him it's in my genes.
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  • imageWinesNot Whines:
    imagevictoria1212:

    It did actually start about an hour after the invite said but I just chalked this up to everything I had been to with this couple starting really, really late.



    LOL. I don't want to sound stereotypical or anything, but there is a phenomenon called "Persian time." Everything starts at least an hour later than what the invite says. Sometimes 2-3 hours later.  I'm always late and it drives DH nuts. I tell him it's in my genes.

    Yes, they joke about it too. 'We know the invitation says 6pm but everyone knows that really means 8pm.' Everyone knows that except my very punctual, former military husband who thinks one of these times they will show up on time. HA!

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  • imageWinesNot Whines:
    imagevictoria1212:

    It did actually start about an hour after the invite said but I just chalked this up to everything I had been to with this couple starting really, really late.



    LOL. I don't want to sound stereotypical or anything, but there is a phenomenon called "Persian time." Everything starts at least an hour later than what the invite says. Sometimes 2-3 hours later.  I'm always late and it drives DH nuts. I tell him it's in my genes.

    ha! We put down an earlier time on our invitation knowing that everyone (at least the Russians) would be late and told the officiant/photographer/etc the actual time)

    LOL

     

  • imageSofka:
    imageWinesNot Whines:
    imagevictoria1212:

    It did actually start about an hour after the invite said but I just chalked this up to everything I had been to with this couple starting really, really late.



    LOL. I don't want to sound stereotypical or anything, but there is a phenomenon called "Persian time." Everything starts at least an hour later than what the invite says. Sometimes 2-3 hours later.  I'm always late and it drives DH nuts. I tell him it's in my genes.

    ha! We put down an earlier time on our invitation knowing that everyone (at least the Russians) would be late and told the officiant/photographer/etc the actual time)

    LOL

     



    My friends did this too!

    True story: My parents almost missed Christmas dinner last year because they were an hour late to get to our house. I told them we were going to eat without them if they didn't show up at a reasonable hour.

    I also sometimes fudge plane departure times when I'm getting a ride from my dad to the airport.
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  • We're on Caribbean time in our house! 

  • My DH is Persian and I have never been to or heard of a wedding like this.. I guess the people are very religious? The only thing (hopefully) helpful I can add is that we went to an event once in Manhattan sponsored by the Iranian Mission to the US, and I was told to dress the same way.. I remember that I had trouble picking something to wear and was kind of like.. whatever, how serious can they be about dress code? I ended up dressing conservatively and meeting my DH right before going in, and he forced me to go to Ann Taylor on the next block and purchase tights and a longer sweater to make sure I was 100% covered. I thought he was being a control freak until I walked in.. I was SO thankful that he had switched up my outfit a bit. All of the other women were literally covered from head to toe and their hair was also completely covered. Not sure if your event is like this or not, but I would seriously consider bringing a pashmina in your purse just in case all of the other women have their hair covered. Make sure that your arms are covered too.. you may find it easier just to wear dark tights instead of pants to cover your legs, despite the heat. Good luck!
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