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Breastfeeding
I tried bf with Elsie and it ended up not working- latch and no milk issues. With Ian I've made it a week bfing and this is hard work. I feel like he is always eating and this whole no schedule thing is really hard for me. I can't just get up and go.
Tell me it gets easier and how it does.
Tell me that pumping works, especially working moms. I haven't bought a pump yet, but I did in a hormonal moment send dh to the store for formula. It's sitting unopened on the counter. Staring at me. I am waiting for Ian's weight check before buying a pump to make sure I am producing enough for him to sustain on.
Cluster feedings get better too, right? 3 hours off and on of baby on boob in the middle of the night wears me out.
I need some confidence to bf in public. I want to run some errands with baby, but fear where I will bf. In the car?
I still don't know if bf is right for us or not. I am giving it a couple more days.
Re: Breastfeeding
It is not easy and there will be days where you feel you are a milk factory for the kid and that is all you do. BUT the benefits are great! I also remember at 3 weeks DS fed like crazy and that happens due to growth spurts.
Regarding pumping, my lactation nurse said the first 2 weeks after your milk has come in produces enough milk for twins so it is prime time to pump and store. And if you do continue, try now to pump and feed him at the same time or you will feel like just when you finished feeding and pumping separately, he is ready to feed again and you got nothing done.
Feeding in public. I think this is more a comfort level with each individual. There are times I will breastfeed sitting in a booth at a restaurant and could care less. I've fed at the zoo while nephews went through an exhibit. Then there are times, I feel I need to hide and feed to not offend others. I have fed many times sitting in a truck, a bathroom and have contemplated feeding while leaning over DS in the car so we didn't have to stop to feed on a long road trip (I have not done it but I have thought about it)
For breastfeeding cover, I didn't buy a nursing cover. I use Holly's pacificier holder and clip it onto a receiving blanket. Saves cash and puts those receiving blankets to use!
All in all, it gets easier in the sense you get used to the schedule. It is a very hard job and I think to make you it through, you have to have the dedication and desire behind all of it to make it work.
If you want the benefits of the breastmilk for feeding, then pump and do bottle. You may find it suits you better and that is okay.
No matter what method you end up doing, you are a great mom! Don't let anyone make you think different based on your feeding choices.
The big bonus to breastfeeding too is the one on one time you can really get. I love feeding and just gazing at DS and have him look at me and smile and see his eyes light up. It is a wonderful bonding moment!
love is for every her, love is for every him, love is for everyone
Same here since I only pump. If you think maybe you'd want to switch to EPing I know Kendra gave me GREAT advice and I would chat with you too if you wanted.
Hang in there I'm sure you are doing great!!!
It seems to be the consensus from things I've read and people that I've talked to when I first started, that you should give it at least 3 weeks before deciding for sure. It usually takes that long for both of you to figure it out and get the hang of it, which proved to be true for me...I remember feeling at the beginning exactly what you are feeling "WTF is this???? How do people do this????" But then everything kind of fell into place. The other thing people say is to take it week by week, so every Sunday I had a good long talk with myself and determined if I was going to keep at it another week, what needs to change, what I like/don't like, etc. I stopped around 9 months.
Pumping is a PAIN IN THE BALLS, but it's part of it and if you decide that it's important to you for your kid to have BM, then ya gotta do it. From what I've experienced, breastfeeding is very much a "mind over matter" thing. You really have to be committed to it to not despise it. If you tell yourself "I can do this! I WANT to do this!" then you can, and you will, and it will be great! But if you can't seem to shake the feelings of "OMG I hate this!" then you will be miserable, and stressed, and to me it's NOT worth it. By month 9 I got to that point...I started to really hate it, really resent it, and I was just done. And that was OK with me. Some people are really all for extended breastfeeding, and that's great for them, but for other's it's just not their thing, and that's fine too!
Bottom line, do what's best for you and don't feel bad about it. But give it at least 3 weeks....your feelings for it will either change or stay the same, and just go with it at that point!
Hang in there! You're doing great! If you want to stick with it, rock on, but there's no shame in giving him formula.
If you do decide to pump, I'd highly recommend renting one. I know Methodist women's has them, and I assume the other ones do to.
Regarding bf'ing in public, I didn't personally do it, but that's because it was a damn production getting everyone up and on. We wouldn't have fit at the zoo.
I do have two Bebe au Lait covers you can have if you think that would help. Never used. Just let me know.
Yes it does get better. If you can get him to cluster feed during the day instead it helps. If you can turn the schedule around to more during the day that will help. I does get a lot better as far as how often...your in the WORST time right now. They even out. I pump the 2 days I work (12 hour days) and it goes just fine. When I first went back I did have to take fenugreek because my job can be very stressful and just going back to work those together made a dip but it turned right around. Drink LOTS of water. After 2 kids I still am a little off with breastfeeding in public so Im not a lot of help. I use a wrap but just feel uncomfortable about it sometimes. Its just my nature tho to worry about what others think!
I'm still new to it, but it is starting to get easier. Yes, it's exhausting. I'm the one that has to do all the feedings - I'm the one that gets up at night, I'm the one who has to go into the bathroom at a restaurant because I'm not comfortable feeding him in a restaurant, I'm the one who gets cold dinner because he almost always gets hungry when we start making dinner (it's like he smells it or something!).
I've had several breakdowns where I've wondered "Is this right for us?" But, I'm sticking with it and it's getting easier. He's only had a few days of cluster feeding, which is a bonus, and is starting to sleep a little longer at night. I'm getting more comfortable with nursing in public - I won't do it at a restaurant because I'm not really comfortable with that, but everywhere else... I could care less. My son needs to eat, and if you don't like it, don't look! I do have a nursing cover that's lighter weight than a receiving blanket, but I prefer the receiving blanket. He's not a huge fan of having things on his head though, but is getting better.
Like someone else said - there's nothing "wrong" with going with formula if that's what works for you. You have to be comfortable with it for it to work, and if you are stressed about it, you won't produced as much and it won't be a "natural" bonding time - it will be torture and you will both be miserable. Whatever you choose, you are giving him the nutrition that he needs. Good luck!
Picture courtesy of Heidi Keene Photography
We have already exchanged bf'ing stories, so you know how I feel about it. I hope it works out for you this time! It is such hard work, but I hope that it starts getting easier for you.
Oh, and don't imagine yourself killing your husband in the middle of the night.
When it comes to public I nurse before we leave. If she needs to nurse while we're out I just find a bench and do it. I wear one of those tank tops that I made every day. I don't think anyone has noticed and I do this a lot! The problem is all in our own brain. I even nursed while walking in the Kingdoms of the Night exhibit last weekend in my beco. Talk about handy! :-)
DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! You are a great mom and you can make this work. You are doing so much better than you think. Mind over matter.
I agree with all the pp, you are in the worst of it right now -- but also, if its not right for you, than thats okay too - dont feel bad about giving him formula, or feel like you failed. BF isnt for everyone, doesnt come as easy for everyone, different strokes for different folks I suppose.
Look at my beast. He was BF the first week, and I just couldnt keep up with him. He needed more, and I couldnt make enough for him. So, on came the formula. I still pumped, into the 5th month I think - and gave him breast milk whenever I could get some for him. Owen is a humungous smart beastly man child
Ian will be okay with whatever you decide to do!
Okay, my advice: GET THE FORMULA OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. It is a distraction. It is sitting there taunting you. Yes, it is tough those first weeks. It hurts like a SOB (nobody told me). They feed all the time (their belly is the size of a walnut or smaller).
My other advice: give him a pacifier. He's a week old now. It's okay. The LCs had me totally freaked out about nipple confusion. But my son was treating me like a pacifier. My Mom pointed out on Day 6 that he needs more sucking. Some babies just need to suck more to soothe themselves. She was right. And we had no nipple confusion
Now, what you want to hear (and I only speak the truth):
YES it gets easier. Seriously, the hard part is the beginning. Formula would be easier now. But honestly, it is short lived. I am in month 10 and let me tell you, whipping out the b00b is much easier and quicker than measuring formula for a baby that is screaming b/c he wants to eat now.
YES pumping at work does work. You don't need to worry about it now though. When you're ready to go back to work, we can give you more advice.
YES cluster feedings improve. But just a warning, they go in and out of this phase (at least mine did) with growth spurts for a few months.
As for the public thing, that is personal. Some people can handle it better than others. I chose to wait quite awhile to try it, which I wouldn't recommend. I was afraid, but once I did it, it wasn't that bad. However, I have fed many times in the backseat of my car. Tinted windows!
If you want more self-confidence boosters, I'm happy to chat with you. Just send me your phone number over FB and I'll give you a call. You just need someone to tell you you can do it (which you can)!!!!
OMG, Nancy & I agree!!
Hi Steph...I was in your exact situtation about 3 months ago. I tried BF with Blake and it was a horrible experience...milk never really came in much...bad latch...wasn't gaining...I only lasted about 10 days with him before the stress did me in!
This time around I wanted to try again and it has worked! I was much more relaxed, Kennedy caught on right away, and the supply has been much better. But I went through horirble pain the first month- I had vasospasms (severe, shooting pain which required a medication for 2 weeks-...now I rarely get them. I also dealt with milk blisters during that time which were ungodly painful...but once I hit that 4-5 week pint it got so much better. Kennedy is gaining tons of weight.
For me, being relaxed about it made a huge difference. And I set small goals, I wanted to make it more than 10 days, then a month, then 6 weeks, then 3 months which I will hit tomorrow. I have bene back to work for about 2 weeks and I don't enjoy pumping by any means but it is doable. I have built up a decent freezer stash so ultimately I would like to get to the point of stopping by 11-12 months and using my freezer stash. But who knows if I make it that long...I am taking it day by day!
Cubluebride said it perfectly.
I totally remember those times when I thought, "really, she needs to eat AGAIN? I just finished feeding her 20 mins ago!". It will definitely start to space out and improve, but cluster feedings will continue to happen around growth spurts - they will signal your body to produce more milk to keep up with the baby's demand, though, so they are good in that sense.
I know it's probably really hard with Elsie around, but I remember just having to make BFing a priority and if it meant being up late at night or sitting and doing (seemingly) nearly nothing else during the day, I went with it. I'm sure another child in the mix makes that incredibly much more challenging, of course.
No judgment from me either way, but if this is something that is a big priority to you, know that you can absolutely do it! Keep asking questions or pop on here for support!
::giggle::
weird, huh?
Steph - believe in yourself. Ask for help if you don't think he's getting a good latch. Get a pump if you think it will help. If I was in town I'd loan you my pump for a while. I agree that a pacifier may be a good thing. Amelie has this ridiculous urge to suck and she's got a pacifier much more than i'm comfortable with, but it seems to be what she needs so I give it to her. It may help Ian not feel like he needs to be at the breast as often and give you an extra few minutes to take a nice shower or just do something "normal."
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