Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
In a rut already...
My husband and I just got married 3 months ago, and I have found that we are already in a rut. He is in the Air Force and his schedule hasn't been consistent lately and he's usually exhausted after work. We usually just sit on the couch watching movies at night. We don't really have the money to be going out to dinner or anything either 
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to bring the romance and fun back into our relationship?
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to bring the romance and fun back into our relationship?
Re: In a rut already...
First agree to turn of the TV for one hour each night and talk to eachother....
No healthy man, however "exhausted" will turn down the attention of a healthy woman. Try a mutual massage session at least once a week with no actual penetration allowed.
Sometimes when young men are 'too exhausted' they are really worried about not being able to keep up with and satisfy their woman. Make sure that you entice him rather than demand,.....and try to help him to build sexual confidence by extending his repertoire of sexual moves and positions etc. Also encourage him to have sex without ejaculation at least once a week,.....it will keep him a little 'frustrated' until the next night but thats no bad thing!
I noticed two things here. One, sex. Two, doing things together.
First, I agree, turn off the TV. DH and I took the TV out of our bedroom because we would just fall asleep watching TV. Massages work too. Just make it a habit. Honestly, the more you have sex, the more you want it!
Second, it does not take a lot of money to have fun together. Make dinner together. Pack up a picnic and drive somewhere. Play games (if you want, bet on the games. Warning, we did this for a while and the games took forever because we both wanted to win. Now, we normally just play for fun). Find carnivals, festivals, or fairs to go to.
HTH
DH is also in the AF. For a while we would go together to the base gym and work out together. We felt better, our energy level went up, and so did our libido. Win-win for everyone!
I agree with PP about setting aside a "us" time. Talk to each other, share your days, your dreams, goals, memories, etc. Also, be sure to do things in a group, with friends. Plan a dinner, a game night. Hope this helps.
DH and I were in a rut too after having DD - so in the middle of June I read about the 30 day sex challenge, so i said on July 1st let's do this (July is our anniversary month and if we started on the first we figured it would be easier to track the 30 days) I was a bit worried I'd get bored with it but we are on day 20 and it's a lot better than I expected. It's kind of a game (especially during 4th of July weekend when we were at DH's cabin at the lake) you find places, and time to DTD and it makes for getting to know each other better and try new positions/toys/and whatever.