Baltimore Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
S/O wedding no shows
How many wedding no shows did you have?
Are they people you are still close too?
When it was all said and done we had between 10 - 12 people that either didn't show up at all or came only to the ceremony and left before the reception. For the most part these were people that I "had" to invite.
In at least 4 of the cases I knew the night before. I seriously considered putting a note out to the Nesties to see if anyone in the local area wanted to come. But, I chickened out. I was afraid I'd look like a dork with no friends.
That was a lot of money to lose, and it still upsets me. :sigh:
Re: S/O wedding no shows
We had 3 people who had RSVP'd yes but didn't come.
One of my Dad's good friend's got hit in the eye with a softball the day of and still called my Dad to say him and his wife couldn't come. The poor guy even had to have surgery. Obviously Dad is still friends with him.
The 3rd person was my DH's cousin who has some mental issues and didn't feel like coming that day. What really irks me is that he never comes to things so I don't understand why his mother even bothered RSVP'ing yes for him. One good thing was that he wasn't 21 so the cost for him to attend was cheaper. We don't really see these people too often - probably only once a year - so nothing's really changed.
We only had one where the guy showed and the girl didn't (friend of H's). We also had my weird cousin who RSVP'd no and then tried to come anyways (but got lost and didn't end up making it...what the heck?)
The one that didn't show really p!ssed me off because it was a plated, pre-order meal and they of course ordered the more expensive of the two dishes.
Their wedding was a couple months after ours and we traveled to Syracuse, stayed in a hotel, got them a really nice gift and never got a thank you note. I wrote them one even though the girl didn't even show!!!
Holiday Card 2011
The Baloney Bug, A Blog
I honestly don't recall. I'm pretty sure we had a no-show or two, and I seem to recall that someone couldn't make it at the last minute and we knew about it, but I don't remember who or why.
miscarriage on 11/26/09 at 5w6d
We had 6. My friend and his wife (he said she was sick, but I think she didn't want to spend their 1st anniversary at our wedding. That's fine with me, just RSVP "no".) My cousin, his wife and their daughter because they were on a trial separation and a friend from h/s college who RSVP'd for 2, but only brought himself. We also had a sit-down, plated dinner. grr.
I still talk to my cousin and my hs/college friend, but not the first guy.
We had two. One was a cousin's girlfriend...the cousin never RSVPed so I kept calling and asking if she and her girlfriend were coming, and I finally got a "yes" out of my cousin and a "possibly" for her girlfriend...So we bought a meal for the girlfriend and it turns out they had broken up, I wish my cousin would have just told me that.
The other one was a crazy, unstable, drug addicted cousin I have. He texted his sister (a BM in the wedding) that morning that he wasn't going to make it. Didn't surprise me one bit.
I didn't have any no-shows I don't think. One girl who had RSVP-ed yes let me know the Wednesday before that her grandfather had passed away and the funeral was the same day as our wedding so she couldn't make it (understandable obviously.)
The one that ticked me off the most was my cousin. He was 17 at the time and my aunt basically insisted that his girlfriend had to come. But this wasnt an issue until like the day before, so we had to add her and pay extra etc.They came, stayed at the reception for about a half hour, and then left. I'm not even sure they ate anything. I was SO annoyed. (okay maybe they stayed 45 minutes.) Don't make me pay extra for your GF if you can't even stay for half the reception. But he's an entitled brat anyway so whatever.
We had one last minute RSVP change and one true no-show.
The last minute change was my aunt and uncle on my dad's side. apparently they had planned a vacation on the same weekend, and thought they coudl change their tickets, but they waited until the week of to do it and then found out they coudln't. We're not close, and the wedding was kind of my attempt to reach out to them, so yeah, I side-eyed the crap out of them and ceased making any efforts.
The no-show was one of my high school friends. She didn't show, and then didn't answer her phone or return any of my calls for 2 months. It was so out fo the blue that after the first 3 weeks I seriously started to fear for her safety (she gets herself into some crappy situations sometimes) and started calling friends back home to ask if anybody had seen her because I figured something had to have happened. But nope, a friend saw her just the other day out at the bar. Everything seemed fine. She finally called me out of the blue about 4 months after the wedding with the barest of apologies "oh...sorry we missed the wedding." and thought that was good enough. I stopped returning her calls. There is no way I coudl forgive that. Not just the no-show, but making me flucking worry about her, and then not apologizing? Nope. Dealbreaker. Freindship over.
ETA: Re-reading this...it appears I'm a bitterpants. I think I'm ok with that.
My Goodness...another food blog. Featuring: Macarons from a old post with a photo taken by my mom for a break from my crappy food photos!
I only had one couple no-show. and I was MAD. It ended our friendship -- I even defriended her on Facebook the next day.
However, it was the last straw in a line of things. I'm from Phoenix, which is where I got married. However, she and her boyfriend lived in DC for six months last fall, and everytime I tried to make plans with her, she found a reason to cancel. Then she moved back to Phoenix and blew off my bridal shower a month before the wedding. Then she didn't show up to my wedding, and that was it.
She sent me a message on facebook after I defriended her, and said "I'm sorry, my mom took the car and I had no way to get there, I didn't meant to hurt you." My response? "You might not have, but you clearly don't care about our friendship -- so we're not going to be friends anymore."
Harsh? I dont' know, but I was fed up.
We had one other duo that canceled the week before. I made up one of the places by inviting the sister of a bridesmaid who I was friends with, but not good enough friends for her to initially be on the guest list. I'm really happy she was able to come and perhaps should have invited her in the first place!
~ Kelsey Jean ~
Cooking with Crouton: A Food Blog
MyBio
We actually only had two no shows, both of whom were sick, and were girlfriends/spouses of DH's friends, so I didn't really care much. We had two people we never saw at the reception, but I also found out later that they were in the middle of getting a divorce, they just didn't want to tell us before the wedding. I'd definitely say we lucked out with our guests.
ETA: Oh, but our best man was a no show for the rehearsal. And his gf was one of the no shows at the wedding. We don't really talk to them anymore.
I don't know how I avoided it so well, but I had 3. 1 person was terminally ill, the other was a couple who the woman had been arrested for embezzlement!!! We knew of both in advance, and our only attempt to get a replacement is telling some guys who didn't have a date previously they could bring one. They couldn't get one on short notice.
Our place actually offered to refund us for the no shows...but guess what. My aunt and uncle (BFF's of the no-show criminal couple) took their place cards, put them at the table, had the wait staff serve their dinners...AND THEN ATE THEM. Seriously, who the F does that!
Wow, that is crazy.
Yep. Sore spot.
(4)Two first cousins and their dates. Actually did show up for the literally last 10 minutes of the reception and slammed as many drinks as they could in that time.
(2) My friend and her mom both invited random dates (there was no "and guest" on their invites) and the dates didn't come.
(5) My fellow directors from a nonprofit board I was on (only one actually showed, but her date did not)
(1) Random date of a friend did legitimately break her ankle.
So these are the 12 people who didn't show day of. Plus, there were 4 other people who let me know the day in advance.
We only had about 6 no-shows (people that RSVP'ed and never showed). The one that really pissed me off was my co-worker. She was on the fence leading up to the day her RSVP was due about bringing her on again/off again boyfriend. She told me he was coming at the time and then didn't bring him. I was so irritated. Another was a co-worker who claimed she was sick then slipped up a few weeks later and said she wasn't making the trip over the Bay Bridge in the rain. Others were some relatives of my Mom's that I had to invite, but never see so I didn't really care.
We invited about 180 (including plus guests) and had 130 attend. Many of our "No's" were elderly relatives who lived out of town, but we "had to invite."
I should add for the 6 no-shows, they never called/emailed. I knew they were not present before I walked down the aisle. See my previous post referencing holding the ceremony in the reception venue due to rain. As a result when I waiting my turn to walk in I was standing next to the place card table and saw which were not picked up!