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I hate this apartment!!!
Maybe this is flame worthy, I don't know, but I want a house so badly. I'm sick of not being able to settle and--for lack of a better word--"nest". While I'm proud of how we've turned this little apartment of ours into a home since we got back from Japan, I still feel like it isn't really our true home. I felt like our apartment in Japan was more of a home. It had a lot to do with the fact that we had friends and a life outside of work. Getting the kitten helped a lot.
Now Matt works, I go to school, and we're hours away from our closest friends. I feel like we're in transition, since we're not planning on staying here much longer (another 8 months max). We aren't really saving for anything right now, either, so I don't see a house in our near future. That feels so overwhelming. I don't necessarily hate renting (even though I'd much rather be spending money on a mortgage every month instead), it's just that I hate this feeling of not being able to settle. We paid off the wedding immediately, and I've accumulated about 10,000 in student debt in the year we've been here. We have a few thousand set aside right now, but no real plans for it. I suppose we'll just throw it on my student debt after I graduate. I'm so bummed.
I so badly want that house, and job and kids and friends. I want a life.
reading this over before I post it, it occurs to me that maybe we just need a plan. That's hard to do when we won't even know which city in this country we're moving to in a year from now 
I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
Re: I hate this apartment!!!
Aww, I feel your pain, Nukke. We're also in a holding pattern right now, and it sucks.
Can you join some meet-up groups or something to help feel a little more connected to the community you're in now? Maybe do some volunteer work? And I do think planning will help, even if you don't know where you're going to be. You're going to have to save money and pay off debt wherever you end up, so maybe if you come up with even a tentative plan you'll start to feel better.
Hang in there!
Thanks a lot.
Warning. Additional long venting ahead:
One of the main reasons why we have no social life is we have no time outside of work and school. I spend most of my weekends at school. I don't really have an opportunity to meet and hang out with people my age outside of class.
God, I would love to have a few girl friends here though. Watch movies together, go for martinis and get dressed up. I miss my friends
And my class is its own can of worms. Most days in class are great. We all get along fine, and laugh and joke as we work side by side 6 days a week. But, we are also worked to the bone and are very stressed. There are only 15 people in my class, and I have lots of fun with them in class, but we don't really socialize outside of it. The three people I most enjoy in class also don't live in the city.
There is one major problem, though. There's another woman in class--we'll call her Sally--who is very difficult to deal with. This sounds really harsh, but she's a real downer. Apparently no one else in class can stand being around her. this has been whispered to me for close to a year now and was relayed to me again a couple weekends ago when 8 of us went on a weekend getaway to another town--she didn't come. Sally is extremely overweight, is on her second career, is maybe 37 or something, married in a loveless marriage, lives with her parents and has a special needs child. She is always depressed and treating other people like they're against her, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy born of low self-worth and paranoia.
I'll give an example. When we all sign up on the board for projects (writing our name under a topic of choice), she will then feel sorry for herself on the offchance that she ends up with no partner. Everyone ends up with no partner sometimes! It's no big deal. But she takes it personally. While crying, she automatically assumes this is because no one wanted to be her partner. It is not about her! It never occurs to her that--oh I don't know--maybe someone was interested in the TOPIC written on the board, rather than working with a specific person. I don't choose topics based on who I'm going to work with. We started the year with 28 students and we're down to 15. Everyone left in this course is an adult capable of working hard, so I don't care who I'm paired up with, and I get the same impression from others. "Oh, I really wanted that project on ivory!" or "I know a lot about cochineal, so I chose that one." No one is saying, "OMG MY BFF IS CHOOSING THIS ONE SO I HAVE TO ALSO ROFFMAO!"
When Sally's not crying because she is feeling sorry for herself or because her life is so stressful, she's showing off about her marks in school. She's always pointing out how the teacher complimented her on this, or how she made the dean's list. Everyone gets compliments and I bet lots of us in class are on the dean's list, but no one else shows off about it. She alienates everyone. She doesn't phase me as much as others, though. My mom likes to show off, too, so I've learned to deal with that sort of person. I just give her what she wants and move on. "oh wow! You made the dean's list! congrats!" And then I change the topic. Because I'm the only one in class who doesn't act like he/she hates to be around Sally, she clings to me. CLINGS.
But here's the worst of it. It was brought to my attention that she is the reason why, on the rare occasion that there is a social meetup after school, some of the others are afraid to call me to invite me. they are worried that debby downer Sally will show up with me.
I don't care if they don't invite me out, but for that reason? A girl called me yesterday because she and a few others wanted to see Harry Potter, and whispered over the phone "what is Sally doing tonight?" like she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to be able to make it. I told her I had no idea, but that I had to clean the house to get ready for the inlaws coming, but to go and have fun. Our workload is incredibly stressful, and for others to want to blow off steam, go drinking, have a little fun and not hang out with Sally after school--I get that. It still seems caddy like, high school or something. While I find Sally annoying at the best of times, I think it's important to make others feel included. Our program is only a year and a half. it's not like you're stuck with her for life. Most of the time she can't make these events anyway.
So these are the sorts of people I spend 6 out of 7 days with. One super annoying debby downer. Others who try to avoid Sally and anyone around her. And the three fun sweet girls who aren't really local.
The very rare time that I have two days up in a row, the inlaws visit. I love them, but I would have loved to go somewhere with Matt. Maybe camping or to Toronto to visit some of our friends (haven't seen them since about January).
I'm done school in three weeks. Maybe I can get out and try to meet some people then. Maybe if I bartend again or something for extra money.
Yeah, that drives me bananas too. I wish I could paint the walls in here, change out the bathroom fixtures, or buy some patio furniture. Technically we could buy patio furniture, but there are too many nosy old people who stare down at us on our patio when we're outside.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermI kind of feel badly for Sally - it sounds like she has a pretty difficult homelife, and it manifests itself in the most annoying of ways. I think it's really kind of you to be nice to her. And I've had people like that in my life, too; you really just want them to get out of their own way, but you can't get sucked into their drama. It gets old quickly.
But have you tried asking the other peeps out for a drink yourself? Maybe grab one of them after class or something, and start that way. Maybe if they see you making the effort, they'll start inviting you out more. Perhaps try it on a day when Sally is out sick.
Thanks for the advice! When we're in the market I'll definitely remember this.
That's a really good idea. I'll give it a try