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Bad news and a question (BR)
Hi all. I want to thank everyone again for all of the congratulations on our pregnancy; it truly meant a lot to me.
Unfortunately when H and I went for the first appointment and ultrasound last week, all that they found on the ultrasound was a six week fetal pole and no heartbeat, it was supposed to be measuring 10 weeks at that point.
So we decided to have another ultrasound this week to be 100 percent sure that there is no development happening, and from there I'll decide if I want to do a D&C or let it pass naturally.
I was hoping to get others' experiences (physically and emotionally) who have had a D&C before, if you feel comfortable sharing. I've never had any type of surgery before, so it makes me a little bit nervous, but I'm also just ready for this to be over.
Thank you so much in advance, and, obviously, feel free to PM me; I know that this isn't info that a lot of people want to share with the world.
Re: Bad news and a question (BR)
Just wanted to let you know I am keeping y'all in my prayers.
hi. i primarily lurk on here, but i felt compelled to respond. first of all, i am so truly sorry for your loss. my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and it was devastating. you are certainly not alone in this, and you did nothing wrong. i know that doctors and nurses have probably told you that, and you may find it hard to believe. you may be questioning everything you've done and feel like it must be your fault. it really isn't.
my obgyn gave me the option of a d?/c or letting it happen naturally. i too had never had surgery and was nervous about it. i chose to let it happen naturally. it took about 2 months for me to stop bleeding entirely. it was hard to see that everyday for such a long time. a d/c may alleviate this somewhat. it may also give you the opportunity to get pregnant again faster if that's what you want. i have also been told that the d/c is relatively painless physically (much more emotionally difficult).
i know you were asking about experience with d/c's, and i'm sorry i can't directly offer you any, but maybe this will help you in your decision. again, so sorry for your loss. feel free to pm me if you need to talk
p.s. i am responding from my phone so sorry about lack of capitals and formatting errors. i am not uneducated, i just can't figure out my phone lol
Thank you so much for your response, and I'm sorry for your loss. Your experience is one of the reasons I'm seriously considering the D&C. Never knowing when or how long it could take makes me very nervous, and I don't know how I would be able to handle the daily reminder for weeks or months. I appreciate you sharing your story
Thank you Sgt M. I don't know a lot of women who have been through this (women in my family have been pretty fortunate), so it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this.
Thanks so much BLT; I'm so sorry for your loss. My date was actually Feb 9, 2012, so we were pretty close together.
I didn't know many women who had went through it either. Just know you're not alone and you didn't do anything to cause it to happen.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a d&c after 4 weeks of bleeding on and off, mulitple blood tests to check my hcg levels, and multiple ultrasounds to look for a heartbeat. Because I had already been through 4 weeks of uncertainty and hurt, I opted for the d&c so we could start the healing process and go on.
It wasn't bad at all. It was a simple out patient procedure. And I had a tiny bit of cramping when I got home but nothing after that. I never had to take the pain pills my doc gave me, just used regular ibuprofen, and even then, I only had to take it that evening. I bled for a couple of days after that. Spotted for a month, bled for a day, spotted for another month, then bled for a day. I finally had to go to my OB to get Provera to jump start my period.
(((HUGS)))
Missed M/C 11/5/2010 @ 5 weeks, 3 days* D&C 12/3/2010 at 9 weeks, 3 days
Thank you very much. I'm so very sorry for everything you went through.
Question: Was the d&c, for lack of better words, "worth it" to know that you could start the healing process?
Both my losses were natural so I have no experience with a D&C, but I wanted to offer my thoughts to you and your H.
I don't find that many people talk about miscarriages, but as you can see from this board you are not alone. I struggled for a while and was shocked at how hard it hit my H. He tried to pretend he was fine which upset me more until he finally broke. It's so hard to stay connected through something like this, but it is much needed. Hang in there.
I changed my name
Thank you Lace. I'm so glad that you mentioned your H because that's what I'm worried about with mine. He seems almost...nonchalant, but I'm worried he's putting on a show for me. That's definitely not who he normally is. I guess I know what we need to talk about tonight.
It was very worth it. I have no idea how long I would've had to wait for things to happen naturally. I'd already waited 4 weeks, and I was dealing with my dad's death at the same time and I just wanted everything to be over. Considering the actual procedure, it was well worth it.
Missed M/C 11/5/2010 @ 5 weeks, 3 days* D&C 12/3/2010 at 9 weeks, 3 days
That's 100% normal. Men are "fixers" and when it comes to m/c, there's simply nothing to fix. It is what it is. I know going to a support group and meeting other dads/husbands was helpful for MH.
I'm just a lurker here too, but wanted to say I'm sorry. I had a miscarriage in November of 2008. DH and I got married in October 2008. DH then left on deployment before Thanksgiving. I started miscarrying about 4 days after he left. Not sure why. Maybe the stress of getting married, getting pregnant, DH leaving, school...lots of things. I let mine happen naturally. It was rough. And so, so painful. If I could go back and have a D&C I probably would.
My T&P are with you. I am very sorry