Family Matters
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mother with severe depression, need advice

I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

My mother has suffered from severe depression since 2001 when her mother passed away. She has gone through every type of anti-depression meds with all sorts of doses. She is now off of them because she doesn't like how they make her feel. She tries to self-medicate with alcohol. She also has chronic pain because of diabetes and back issues. Her father passed away in January and it has just led her even further down the black hole. And then last but not least my dad has had serious health issues for the last few months with his colon. He is on a special diet that takes a lot of discipline and he is sick a lot. Pretty much they are both just a mess. My mother refuses to see a therapist; she thinks they will just brain wash her. She doesn?t want to go back on meds.

I just don't know what to do. Do I just support my dad the best I can? Do we try to get her admitted somewhere? She is a threat to herself with the excessive drinking so I think we could get her admitted for 72hrs.

 I suffer from depression as well but I am seeing and therapist and having had a down day in a long time. I just wish she wasn't opposed so much to the idea. Should I try to push the idea.

Thanks for listening and any help you can suggest

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Re: mother with severe depression, need advice

  • If she can't take care of herself, somebody needs to have power of attorney.

    This is rough -- you're getting it from all sides; sorry for your troubles.

    She's got depression, capped with diabetes and a possible drinking problem. If she is taking any type of antidepressive, it's dangerous for her to drink.

    I will also bet she's not taking care of her diabetes, either.

    I suggest you speak to a social worker, speak to her docs and speak to an attorney. That would be a good place to start.

  • Thank you for your advice. I had not even thought of getting a power of attorney. She's only 46, it seems so drastic to take away in essence her free will. But if it's something that we have to do then it will be done.

    No she isn't taking care of her diabetes, another issue with the whole problem.

    She is not on any meds at the moment.

    I found a few hospitals that specialize in depression. I'm going to send a few to my dad. I feel the worst for him. He loves her so much and I can tell this is killing him.

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  • You and your dad should contact your local NAMI chapters. They can guide you to resources and they also have support groups fir family members.
  • Is it possible that she's bipolar?

     A vast number of alcoholics are bipolars who are self medicating.

  • You say she has chronic pain but she's not taking any pain medication?  Is that correct?  If so, (aside from contacting her physician, a social services person, etc) you should find her the best pain specialist in her area that you can.  Perhaps if you start treating her pain you could lift the cloud long enough to get her to focus on her other healthcare issues.  Sometimes it's the pain that is driving everything. And untreated pain is a real problem.
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