Omaha Nesties
njh514
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
:-( my BFF just miscarried
She and her husband just got married a couple of months ago and they got pregnant on their first try. They left on Sunday for their honeymoon in Colorado, they went to the ER, then they came back home. She just did her second HCG and it has gone down. I'm so so so sad for her. I told her I'm here for her if there's anything I can do, but what would be good? I know it's been asked before but I can't remember. I just remember no flowers. I'm so sad for them. :-(
or is just leaving them alone the best option? I don't want to make it any harder than it already is.
Re: :-( my BFF just miscarried
When I had my first m/c my BFF brought me pizza and a season of Entourage. It was thoughtful without being a reminder of my m/c. She didn't get all sappy, just said she wanted me to be able to laugh as I recovered from my D&C.
love is for every her, love is for every him, love is for everyone
When I had mine a friend made us a dinner and brought over a few of my fav funny movies (ie Tommy Boy, Billy Madison). It was very sweet.
I don't like flowers personally for anything but love the idea of the plant you can grow and it can continue to grow like the hydrangeas as stated by pp.
I CAN give you a list of what not to say...nothing that starts with "at least..." or "well now you can...", nothing implying that it was fate/meant to be/God's plan/etc., nothing speculating on the health of the baby or implying she did anything wrong. But, I'm sure you knew that already! (Gee, maybe I'm still a little bitter!)
From time to time, I wanted to just spill my guts, cry, talk endlessly about it and wallow in my own pity, so a sympathetic ear is appreciated. Remember that was a baby and she is a mother. :-( So sorry!
I'm so sorry! This happened to someone close to me last year too. The hardest thing was to know what to do, how to help. I think it's such an individual thing that everyone deals with differently. It seemed like she mainly wanted to deal with it in her own way, so I just made sure she knew I was there for her, whatever she may need.
My cousin didn't miscarry, but she lost her fiance at a very young age. Everyone sent her flowers, which I learned were just getting put out on the balcony because they were causing allergies. I bought her a book on grieving, and wrote my phone number along with "Any time. Day or night" on the inside of the cover. My aunt said she went back to that book several times over the weeks that followed, and it seemed to help. Maybe there are any books like that on miscarriage too, if she's at all the type who'd find comfort in it?
So I am little different than everyone else here- everyone mourns differently, but I just wanted to be left alone and if I needed to talk, I called and cried my eyes out. I am so sorry for your friend's loss. It is so hard.
For me, I just wanted to be left alone (in fact, after my first, no one knew about my 2nd and 3rd until a while after the fact). My first one, though, was a lot tougher. So, being around people was probably what was best for me. I needed to cry it out and just mourn. So, having dinner brought over and a movie was perfect for me!
It's so hard!!!
Happily Married Since 11.29.02
Brayden Kenneth born 3.27.06
Blaire Kay born 7.10.10