October 2010 Weddings
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s/o Wedding gifts...

Following up on the question in the post wedding survey about "huh?" gifts, I know it's not proper to expect gifts from guests, but we had two different guests show up and not only not bring a gift, but didn't even leave a card.

I just find it really weird.  I understand if you can't afford a gift (which is not the case for either guest in my case), but not even a card?

Did this happen to anyone else? 

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Re: s/o Wedding gifts...

  • Maybe they completely forgot and were embarrased to just to a card?  We had two guys not give gifts or cards.  One was H's college room-mate who came from LA.  He told H he forgot and was going to send something.  H said not to worry b/c H was just happy that he made it.

    2nd guy is weird; local friend no card/gift; whatever we don't care.  Then 2 months later; he's drinking at our apt and gives us a $75 check.  Since we're drinking, we misplace check.  I find it 1.5 months later and cash it, it bounces.  To be honest, I'm not sure if H ever sent the TY for that or not.  Eek!  Indifferent

    We did have some family members who attended and just gave cards b/c they couldn't afford a gift.  No big deal, we were just happy they came.  They're on my dad's side and Gma realized it was the first time all of her kids (my aunts/uncles) were together since my Gpa passed away in 2001; 9 years!  That was like a gift in itself

  • imagenfp147:
    I just find it really weird.  I understand if you can't afford a gift (which is not the case for either guest in my case), but not even a card?

    Did this happen to anyone else? 

    We had one of those, and it p*ssed me off hard.  It was the girl who picked us up and made us an hour late for our own shower, but didn't seem to think anything of it.  She also pulled me away from guests in the middle of the wedding reception - she wanted to show me the shoe she broke on a grate in the venue, and to ask who she should talk to about restitution.  I just laughed and walked away.  And then she basically stalked my husband's friend for like a month after the wedding. 

    So yeah, I side-eyed the hell out of her for not even bringing a card, though I guess it was less than suprising.

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  • We had several...to the point where we thought things had been stollen.  We ended up getting a lot in the mail later, but definitely had a handful who didn't even get a card.  Like you said, I totally understand if they can't afford a gift, and don't expect them ever for anything.  But not a card???  Really?

    The one that pissed me off the most was someone (older person) who drunk dialed Chris several times asking why she wasn't invited, so we finally invited her and her husband.  They rsvp'd for 3.  Then they didn't show up.  To this day, we haven't received a card in the mail or even a comment on why they weren't there.

    We had another young couple who were really invited because we were invited to their wedding and they're part of that "group" of friends.  I attended her showers, overnight bachelorette party, and wedding and bought gifts for all of them.  They didn't come after rsvp'ing yes, and we never got a card or even email or facebook message or anything saying why (turns out his grandma was sick). 

    I might still be bitter.

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    Megan & Chris
  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary

    Yeah we had this happen.  Quite a few guests did this--mostly guys in their twenties.  One was Matt's BM.  Not even a card!  Also two of his male cousins (who even brought dates) didn't bring a thing.  The ADULT men signed the card from their parents who gave us a modest cheque.  Really?  You are adult enough to bring a guest, but you can't even get your own card (nevermind a gift).  Either they're cheap or clueless.  Whichever it was, we just shrugged it off.

    One recently married couple didn't get us anything, when we had just shelled out big dough and bought them things from their registry for the showers.  Again, not even a card.  Another was a couple who was getting married in just a couple months after us, and we had already spent a fortune on their wedding gift.   They ended up sending a gift many months later, which was nice--pretty much after we bought them a wedding gift.  it's quite possible that they were trying not to spend money on us so that we wouldn't spend money on them?  You know the weddings in a row tit-for-tat game that some people do.  It's all good. 

     

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  • We also had quite a few. Some of them were really surprising! Also, my cousin broke up with his boyfriend before the wedding. They were both on the invite (by name) and he rsvpd for 2 which was wierd but I thought they got back together. Oh no. He shows up with a friend of his. This trashy @$$ skanky looking chick. They both drank allllll night and then went to the club afterwards. The real kicker. When we opened gifts, there was 1 card with him, this girl and my aunt's name one it with $10 in it. I would never scoff at a gift but seriously! I know how much you spent when you went out that night and you brought your skanky friend with you who at and drank at my wedding! Grrr. I almost would have rathered no gift at all. It felt like a slap in the face.

  • imageAlwaysABridesmaid...:

    We also had quite a few. Some of them were really surprising! Also, my cousin broke up with his boyfriend before the wedding. They were both on the invite (by name) and he rsvpd for 2 which was wierd but I thought they got back together. Oh no. He shows up with a friend of his. This trashy @$$ skanky looking chick. They both drank allllll night and then went to the club afterwards. The real kicker. When we opened gifts, there was 1 card with him, this girl and my aunt's name one it with $10 in it. I would never scoff at a gift but seriously! I know how much you spent when you went out that night and you brought your skanky friend with you who at and drank at my wedding! Grrr. I almost would have rathered no gift at all. It felt like a slap in the face.

    I hear you on this. We had a family of four come and they decided to bring their two kids. They gave us $25. Why even bother?  It felt like a slap in the face.

  • We too had some. But what really got me was the guy who works with DH who RSVP that they ( his wife and little girl) were coming and then didn't show up, and then we we got back from our trip he tells DH " oh, sorry we didn't make it we forgot" so we had to pay for food that didn't get touched... We also got a gift that we still to this day have no Idea who it's from?!
    imageAnniversary
  • imageStaceB2010:
    We too had some. But what really got me was the guy who works with DH who RSVP that they ( his wife and little girl) were coming and then didn't show up, and then we we got back from our trip he tells DH " oh, sorry we didn't make it we forgot" so we had to pay for food that didn't get touched...

    This is why I was so aggravated with the people who RSVP'd and didn't show...especially the one who RSVP'd for 3 when only 2 were invited.  We had a full open bar all night + dinner, and both were paid per head, so people not showing up cost A LOT of money that went completely to waste.

    The worst part is that there was a family of five who didn't bother to show...Chris ran into the dad (his friend) somewhere and he said that their kid's football game ran over so that is why they didn't make it.  Seriously?  You leave the freaking football game when you have somewhere to be.  Or just don't go to that one because you have a special event to go to.  We never received a gift or card from them either, now that I think of it.  And the only reason we knew why they didn't come is because Chris ran into him. 

    Sorry.  Again...I might still be very bitter...maybe :)  It's just that of all the times to be inconsiderate, a wedding should be the last.

    Photobucket
    Megan & Chris
  • Xan921Xan921 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    We had several people do this too.  One of our best friends didn't get us a gift or even a card.  We only invited 54 people and out of those people we had 3 not show up who rsvp'd and 5 that didn't even give us a card.  One that really made me mad was an old co-worker of mine; she didn't even give us a card and I know exactly how much she makes which is a good bit more than I did AND she brought a guest with her, another co-worker who I specifically didn't invite.  Neither of them brought a gift or a card.  Needless to say, I'm not friends with her anymore. 
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  • We had a couple of these, which I had varying reactions to.

    Dude #1: lives 3 miles away from our venue so no travel required, came with a guest, definitely partook in the open bar. No gift, no card. Seriously dude? No card??? I get that money's tight, but it's like $2.50. I judge you.

    Family Friend: he and his wife came; he drove out from upstate NY (he'd just gotten the new Porsche sedan and wanted to break it in), and his wife flew out. Totally thrilled they came, so no gift/card is totally fine and it's a LONG ways to travel. But they told my parents what they were planning on sending us (crystal vase from Stueben glass), so was disappointed not to get that because it would have been gorgeous!  

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