WWYD?? (Brother related)

may07wedding · July 2011

As some of you know, I haven't spoken with my brother since Christmas. He and his girlfriend admitted in May that when she was pregnant, she vowed to never allow myself or my mother alone with their son. For what reason? Because I give looks, or say what I'm thinking. Honestly, that's their reason. Since Christmas, I have not been able to spend time, or see my niece, whom I used to be very close with. My nephew's 1st birthday is coming up, and tonight, my brother sends me a text (again, haven't spoken to him since May when he stormed out of my mother's house after his girlfriend dropped the "I vowed to myself and your brother to never allow my son alone with you and your mother" bomb), and he asked that I give him any and all photos that I have of his son. Why? Because they lost all the photos they had of him from the first 3 months of his life. They lost their camera and now have NO pictures of him as as a newborn. I have photos of him, when my dad was holding him for the first time, and when our Grandfather held him before Christmas. I asked him why I should be the good guy and give him those. He tried the pitty thing and said it was for my nephew, and for his 1st birthday present. Really?? He's 1, do you really think a 1 year old is going to know what the hell the photos are?? No, don't throw that pitty crap out there cause it's not gonna work. In the end of the conversation I told him that I vowed to myself to not give him the photos. He said "F*** you." and to continue to be the "B" that I am.

Ladies, would you give him the photos?

Gator_Bride08 · July 2011

Why not? They're just photos of your nephew. Scan them and print extras if you want copies.

may07wedding · July 2011

Gator_Bride08:
Why not? They're just photos of your nephew. Scan them and print extras if you want copies.

Why should I? Not being a smart a**, but I can't even see my nephew and niece. I'm not even being invited to their b-day parties.

Gator_Bride08 · July 2011

may07wedding:
Gator_Bride08:
Why not? They're just photos of your nephew. Scan them and print extras if you want copies.

Why should I? Not being a smart a**, but I can't even see my nephew and niece. I'm not even being invited to their b-day parties.

I just don't think it's a big deal. Save some aggravation and give them to him. Make copies if you want to keep some. But it sounds like you have your mind made up already.It's crappy they're cutting you out for no reason, but it's their prerogative. Not a whole lot you can do about that, being spiteful isn't really going to help the situation a great deal.

JMO.

babygator15 · July 2011

Gator_Bride08:
may07wedding:
Gator_Bride08:
Why not? They're just photos of your nephew. Scan them and print extras if you want copies.

Why should I? Not being a smart a**, but I can't even see my nephew and niece. I'm not even being invited to their b-day parties.
I just don't think it's a big deal. Save some aggravation and give them to him. Make copies if you want to keep some. But it sounds like you have your mind made up already.It's crappy they're cutting you out for no reason, but it's their prerogative. Not a whole lot you can do about that, being spiteful isn't really going to help the situation a great deal.
JMO.

Kinda what I'm thinking too.

ChangeOfPace · July 2011

I think this is a great opportunity to be the bigger person and make them copies of your photos. I fail to see what you stand to lose in this proposition.

babybchbum · July 2011

Honestly, I would send the pictures. I would try and be the bigger person in this situation. Its not like you are letting them move in or anything of that sort, it is pictures that you likely have a digital copy of.

Sending them these pictures and being the bigger person may be what you need to make a mends in this situation. IMO stating that you vowed not to send the pictures was stooping down to their level and being immature about the situation.

sara76 · July 2011

I too have a strained relationship with a family member (SIL). Granted it is for good reason (she's 31 with an arrest warrant and a terribly self absorbed alchol/pill addiction) I have said she is not allowed to babysit our child until she can prove that she can take care of her own responsibilities first, ie get a job or at least do her community service and clear her warrant, get a drivers license, etc. That being said, I "want" her to get better and will keep most doors open to fix the relationship in the future. Even in the worst case scenario, family is still family and I hate to say it because I know it's not the answer you want to hear, but I would give him the pictures.

Aegis2005 · July 2011

I'm sorry you have a strained relationship with your brother; family dynamics can be so hard. I would send pictures, if for no other reason than they were pictures of your nephew with the family "that can't be with him" and it would probably drive the girlfriend crazy.

I'd also send a gift for my nephew - yes he won't remember it, but whether your brother and his girlfriend want to acknowlege it, you're showing that you're trying to be a part of your nephews' life, in any way you can.

2008PelicanBride · July 2011

Ug. What a sucky situation! I am sorry for all of the drama and that they have treated you this way. If it were me, yes, I would make them copies of the pictures. I guess I would be hoping that my nice gesture would cause them to rethink it all and maybe open back up the lines of communication. Yes, they've being terrible to you, but two wrongs don't make a right. JMO. They sound really immature and not so smart, so maybe your nice gesture can trick them into letting you back into their lives

jen812 · July 2011

Tough situation. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. Initially, my first thought was f them & their pictures. Then I thought maybe it could be used as a bargaining tool. But, it doesn't seem like everyone's ready to be civil. I'd send the pictures on the condition that you all get together soon & try to work out your family drama.

MrsShawanaB · July 2011

Anytime you can take the high road in life, you should! If you send them the pictures, you are giving them one less thing they can try to say about you. Don't give them any more ammunition to cut you out like that -- it sounds like they don't have anything to go on anyway so by you continuing to be a good person, it makes them look even more like idiots.

jjswife08 · July 2011

babybchbum:
Honestly, I would send the pictures. I would try and be the bigger person in this situation. Its not like you are letting them move in or anything of that sort, it is pictures that you likely have a digital copy of.
Sending them these pictures and being the bigger person may be what you need to make a mends in this situation. IMO stating that you vowed not to send the pictures was stooping down to their level and being immature about the situation.

This. I think that although it may seem like they're "winning" in this instance, no one really wins. By sending them the pictures you are being the adult and acting as such, which is more than can be said for them.

nicoleg1982 · July 2011

If things are really so contentious, why even take his calls? I tend to have a very low threshold for this kind of bullshit. I would still send the pictures and leave it at that.

kelcat · July 2011

I'm with you, if he isn't allowing you to see your niece and nephew why should you give him the pictures. But, I think you should also be the bigger person and give them to him. What I would do is copy the pictures, but don't send them until after your nephews pbirthday. This way he gets the pictures and you get the satisfaction of knowing he didn't want them when he wanted them. IF he contacts you again before the party for the pictures ask him how it feels to want!

WWYD?? (Brother related)

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