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Baby Shower questions, little vent (long, sorry)
I was just wondering about a few things. And I don't really like to stray away from my normal boards, otherwise I'd post on the BS board.
Did you all have any say in your showers? Like what games to play or not play? Who to invite? etc.
Did you play any games or do any activities that you liked/disliked at your shower?
Did you have any reservations about who to invite or not to invite?
My MIL got married to her now husband (StepFIL) about 10 years ago. He has three older children, all of whom have their own kids. So Charli will be MIL's first biological grandchild, but #10 in the lineup (hope that makes sense). One of SFIL's daughters I have only seen/met 3 times in the last 8 years. We didn't invite her or her husband and kids to our wedding, there is a lot of drama, legal problems, moral/ ethical problems etc following them around and they live approximately 6 hours away from the rest of us. Seriously, the rest of us are all within the same county in MD.
Well last week my SIL (from my side, not DH's) asked me for a list of people I'd like to invite to a 'hypothetical' shower. You know, 'in case someone wanted to throw you one'. Well to be nice I texted MIL and asked her for the names of anyone in her family that she'd like me to invite. Well she names SFIL's daughter that I don't like/get along with/etc. So I say "Oh. Really? I have only met her 3 times in the last 8 years." So MIL responds with "Well she is DH's step sister, same as ____ (SFIL's other daughter who lives 15 min away). I'm trying to keep the peace."
MY feeling is that if it were MIL's party then she could invite whomever she wants. Since it is a party in my/Charli's honor wouldn't it be who I wanted to invite? I am normally more mature about these kinds of things. I swear! I just feel like the redhead from Wedding Crashers holding her breath and stomping her feet to get her way! And I dont want to feel that way. Can I blame this on hormones?
BTW I am just venting. I did give my SIL the one daughter's name and address to send her an invite. I just really don't want anything to do with her and I really hope she just doesnt come. I told SIL if she'd like to accidentally lose that invite I wouldn't mind. Kidding, sorta.
/vent
Re: Baby Shower questions, little vent (long, sorry)
First, I love the Charli. That is so cute. It is pronounced like Charles or Charlotte? I actually love both.
I did have input as far as who to invite and games. We didn't play any games, which was my choice. : ) But it was kinda of annoying that nobody took my gluten free diet into consideration when planning the menu at my big family shower. It was fun to not be able to eat cake at my own shower.
I think there are lot of different family dynamics when you have steps in the family and there is no one way to do things. It sounds like you did what was best to keep the peace with you MIL. Since she lives so far away, maybe you won't have to worry about her showing up.
Hmm...sticky situation. My opinion is go ahead and send the invite to her 2 s-daughters. The one you don't get along with will most likely not go anyway, as I'm sure the feelings are mutual. To keep peace with MIL that's what I would do.
To ans the questions I have thrown a few baby showers and I do ask the mom to be what she would like to do game wise and stuff unless it was a surprise.
I agree, send the invite and hope she doesn't come. We actually do this with some family members on my dad's side. They never come to anything, but they get the courtesy invite.
All 3 of mine were supposed to be surprises but I knew about them. I did not have a hand in any of the planning. There was one person I felt should have been invited to the shower my mom and sis threw for me and wasn't but oh well. Games were played at all, but that's pretty much a given in our circle. My MIL did what she wanted with the shower she hosted for me (meaning, inviting friends of hers I don't even know), bc in her world everything is about her.
I had no input for one and a tiny bit of input at the other - which friends of mine I wanted to invite and whether or not I wanted games. I opted for no games. The one I had no say in, we played games.
I would agree with giving the courtesy invite. I bet she'll decline.
Thanks! It will be pronounced Charli like Charlie's Angels. We like it. Both Charlotte and Katherine are after family members so they are extra special.
The way I see it: the more invites you send, the more gifts you get. Yes, that is 100% flame-worthy but there has to be some sort of silver lining to inviting people you don't like. Heck, at one of my showers there were people I didn't even know. But they still brought a gift
As far as games, I don't like them, but it's almost like you have to do them. I've never had any input (except for the cake but that's a whole different story), but showers naturally go: social time, food, games, presents - at least in my social world!
The Sand in My Snow Boots
I had input only on the guest list. I did invite all female family members to the family shower. It's family - what can you do?
I don't really remember any of the games, but I think we did play some...
Well, I obviously haven't had a baby shower, but for the wedding shower I provided the guest list. Everything else was a complete surprise.
For my sister's baby shower, the whole thing was a surprise. We're Jewish, so technically she wasn't supposed to get one, so she had no.idea at all that it'd happen. We're not superstitious, though, so I knew she wouldn't mind and I wanted to.do it. Because we couldn't get guest list input from her, we had to be really clandestine about it. We got assistance from BIL, my sister's friends and neighbours, and her coworkers. The games were all me.
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