July 2009 Weddings
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Abstinence Only Education. Thoughts?
The other day DH (raised in NYC) was shocked to learn that I NEVER had a sex ed class growing up and that I did not have easy access to birth control in Texas. Now Texas does "abstinence only" and has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the US. Check out this video of the Texas Governor trying to explain himself. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shawn-lawrence-otto/rick-perry-abstinence_b_904115.html
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
Re: Abstinence Only Education. Thoughts?
We had the puberty/very slight sex education class in 5th grade. They took the boys to one room, the girls to another, and we all came back together afterwards in class and were very wary and didn't say much for a few days.
I don't know about BC because I wasn't sexually active in HS and had no interest in it.
I do not think that Abstinence Only is the way to go. I absolutely, 100% support encouraging abstinence in MS/HS because in no way, shape, form, or fashion are kids under 18 mentally ready to have sex and deal with everything (physical and otherwise) that comes along with it. But, obviously, kids are going to do it anyways, so not teaching about BC and not making it easily available without any judgement is ridiculous. When children are having sex and getting pregnant in 7th grade, something is wrong. Very very very seriously wrong. Letting them know that they have ways to protect themselves has GOT to be a focus.
I plan on telling my kids to please please please please do not have sex before college, and even then, make sure you're in a committed relationship with that person. But here's what you need to know about condoms, pills, abortion, STD testing, etc., and I'll love you and be here for you if you have any question. Holler.
Most people would say the home, but we see how well that's working out.
Ditto, ehoss. It was like pulling teeth just to get my mom to talk to me about my period and how to deal. You can forget any information about sex.
the wedding | the blog
We (as a society) don't trust parents to teach other subjects such as math/science/english/etc. Why should we trust parents to teach sex ed?
In my opinion, if parents want to teach sex ed themselves, then they should go through the same procedures any parent that wants to homeschool any other subject.
And to actually comment on the video....
Holy shitballs. That man had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. So because you spent a crap ton of money on steroids testing for athletes (which, by the way, you found less than 15 in the whole state? TOTALLY worth the money, then), it's ok to spend money on Abstinence Only Ed and get a poor ROI. Someone needs to go back to business school. Oh, and also get their head out of the sand and in the real world.
My thought is, if you're going to be a politician, you need to be willing to look beyond your own beliefs and objectively take into account what is actually happening in your district/county/state/country.
DIT. TO.
I told my mom when I started my period, and other than that, no talk of puberty or sexual related things happened. Ever. Not because she's a bad mother (she's not, she's wonderful and I lub her), but because it wasn't comfortable, we weren't an overshare-type family, and because I had no reason to ask. Thankfully, when I was in my junior year of college and met H, I had already been exposed to plenty of stories/discussions/experiences from other people that I knew what to do, and what I personally wanted from sex.
Women of all ages would benefit if they could be honest with others about it and not feel like it was something to be ashamed of. Some might experience it more, some might feel better about waiting, but everyone would be in the know and prepared to deal with it.
IMO abstinance only education is not education at all. It is essentially a manipulation tactic to prevent adults from having to have a serious and open discussion with kids about a topic that has the potential to be awkward.
Giving kids/teens accurate and honest information about sex, the potential consequences, and the benefits of being responsible with their bodies would certainly lead to better choices made in general.
Also, abstinance only education perpetuates the idea that heterosexual couples having sex for the sake of procreation is the only valid reason for sexual activity. I have an issue with that kind of view being funded by tax dollars and shoved down the throats of kids under the guise of "health information".
Regardless of what type of sex ed is presented in schools around here when my future kids are old enough for this information, I plan to have a long talk with them about sex and everything that goes with it.
the wedding | the blog
Don't even get me started. I have to get up for work early in the morning!
I wholeheartedly agree.
You watched that documentary yet? It fits hand in hand with that statement!
I would expand this to include men too. Seriously. I know so many people who see sex as a taboo subject... something dirty that needs to be hidden and not talked about. I say we all talk about it more. Not like "letters to the editor" discussions, but honest discussions about real experiences and situations that come up. Maybe then women won't think they have to sound like a pornstar or gag themselves to look/sound sexy and men won't have to bust out a GPS to find their partner's g-spot.
the wedding | the blog
not yet! It's on the list though.
the wedding | the blog
Glad this sparked some discussion! I think abstinence only education is so stupid - as is making it difficult to get birth control (especially condoms which prevent against STDs). All my parents ever told me was to wait until marriage (or at least college). I was smart enough to know about birth control and condoms but no one had ever explain anything to me about pregnancy risk or STD risk other than the basic bare minimum.
I had two BFFs in middle school. One got pregnant at 14, the other at 17, and me at 15. Of the 3 of us, one was a MIDDLE SCHOOL drop out and one barely did a few community college courses. I'm the only one who did anything with my life. I know so many girls who had babies by the end of high school it's ridiculous.
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
Am I allowed to say "total ***" on the nest?
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
Apparently not.
FYI, she said 'fvcktard' up there!
LOL! I guess not. I think he is incredibly stupid. What's unfortunate is that there are enough stupid Texans who believe his faulty logic. I guess he's clever to make sure we keep breeding them and keeping our kids uneducated by making them parents at 15.
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
We had a talk in 5th grade. Then again our sophomore year-a little more detailed. But it was awkward both times. We didn't have access to condoms-we had to buy those things!
I think teaching abstinence is great and wonderful. I was abstinent throughout high school-by my choice. But I also think it's unrealistic to think that kids aren't going to have sex before they get married/go to college/whatever. I think it's important that they know 1) Abstinence really is the best way to go. 2) If you chose not to be abstinent, it's possible to get pregnant or contract an STD. 3) Here are the precautions you can take to protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy.
JMO though.
This made me giggle a bit. I think putting a big bowl of condoms in the main office where the front office staff can stare you down would be almost as bad as having to ask your parents to buy you some.
I don't think that teaching abstinance as the only way to truly protect yourself is necessarily bad. I just feel that saying "waiting to have sex until you're married is the only way to be a good person and not die of a horrible disease" is an awful way of approaching the topic of sex... especialy with incredibly impressionable age groups who have no idea what their sexual identity is going to be.
Unfortunately, that is exactly the kind of education that is available to kids in many areas of the country. So many kids wouldn't even know about Planned Parenthood or what to even ask for when they got there because they have been told that their questions on these topics are inappropriate. There are also areas where store owners refuse to allow minors to purchase condoms. Many stores around here keep them behind the pharmacy counter and require ID before selling them to you.
I don't think you have to have condoms freely handed out at school in order to help kids have safe sex. Condom machines at the local high school might be a bit much, but your idea of the guidance counselor having them would be fine with me.
the wedding | the blog
Preach abstinence, but teach everything. I used to teach health at a high school and we started in 8th grade with teaching about puberty and healthy relationships (Not sure what was taught at the middle school level). Every year it increased to include birth control, sexuality, STDs, pregnancy, etc. It was very discussion based, in small groups of 5-10 students. We pushed that abstinence is the best choice for their age, but also let them know of all the options.
The problem with not teaching it in school (or discussing it as a parent) is that the kids will just learn the information from elsewhere. I'd much rather my child learn the truths from me than believe what they see in tv, movies or the rumors that friends may tell them.