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If you get advice on here or from your friends, do you attitribute that advice correctly?
For instance, if you were asking on here about what to do about a decorating issue or even a family/relationship issue, when discussing it later, would you say "well one of the nesties suggested XYZ or my friend Lauren said I should ____.
When I get advice/suggestions from people not directly involved in something, I'll generally just say "I was thinking about X and I think we should Y."
I was talking to one of my friends the other day, and we were discussing recurring issue she has with her DH and then she went and told him "well, Kathryn said _____" It wasn't anything controversial or mean, but it was clear we'd been having a very open discussion about their relationship issue. I was really surprised she would interject me into the relationship like that.
Occassionally, I will post about a childcare issue on the Bump and I'll report back to DH and say - the Bumpies thought X, but normally, I just say something like - I was reading about X today and I think we should try Y.
Re: If you get advice on here or from your friends, do you attitribute that advice correctly?
In a relationship issue with H? I never say "X said Y" unless it's something less serious - like if H and I are debating where to go on vacation I'll say "Friend says not to go here because she didnt like it" or something.
But I try not to do that too much and never with serious issues because like you said, it's interjecting someone else into our relationship. Besides I would never do something because Kathryn said so. I would do something - or suggest something or whatever - because Kathryn said so and I considered it and decided that I agreed with her, you know? So there's no need to interject you into my relationship. You helped me out as a friend and that's that. To do otherwise in my opinion can foster feelings of resentment against the friend by the husband.
For non-relationship issues though - for things like the dogs, what grocery store is the best, what to look for in a retirement account etc, then I'll either say "the nest says" (which H hates) or, if it's from IRL friends I'll say "well I was talking about it with friend1 and friend2 and it came up that....." I try to absolve my friends of responsibility in our decision-making if that makes sense?
yeah - I guess that's the thing - its like she's making me the responsible one or something. Like "I didn't say it, but Kathryn thinks ___" so she's absolving herself of responsiblity.
Are you afraid her DH is going to get all Simon from RHoOC and say you are a bad influence???
I would never do that, and wouldn't expect that it would go over too well. If I thought it was good advice, I would just implement it, no need to say who said it or already does it. It would almost be like saying "Kathryn's DH makes dinner for her 3 nights a week, so why can't you do that?" or "Kathryn also thinks you should be making dinner more often." If DH ever said anything to me like that I would probably tell him to go marry that person then.
LOL