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That topic of discussion....

TheMrsTurtleTheMrsTurtle
in Alaska Nesties

So, I need to find a better mindset for dealing with the resentment that has grown towards some people. I need some positive minds to tell me to stop being so b*tchy and move on.

Yeah, this is about the freaking CARDS! I guess my first point that I need to deal with is, how do you...ummm....reciprocate towards the people that gave you a raw deal for your own wedding and are now in the same position? Like, if you have a friend that is now engaged, would you purposely NOT give them anything because they didn't give you anything? Yes, I'm talking about even a measly card. Because that's pretty much how I feel right now. Help me to be the bigger person. Give some words of guidance.

 ETA: Now that most of you have read this and given me good feedback, I'm DD'ing....sorry...but you guys know how I am!

I know I'm going all about this the wrong way mentally, and I feel like such a b*tch. Please help me get past this!

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Re: That topic of discussion....

  • MrsKtotheEMrsKtotheE
    We've discussed this before and you know how I feel.  I kind of feel like you should just get her a card.  But more for the "I at least got you a card" and hopefully it would register with her she didn't do anything for you.  

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  • ms_teachms_teach
    I'd probably get her a card because I was taught good manners.  BUT, I'd make it a really generic one and not write anything gushy in it cause I'm sort of a B in situations like that.
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  • MrsMeyer7911MrsMeyer7911
    I agree that I am irked by some people not even getting cards to say congrats for us for the wedding. However I would still get her a card and be the bigger person. Once she recieves it she might think, oh crap, I think I forgot to send them one too! Also while it would prob rub me the wrong way as well, I think that her ring size may not depend on her own financial situation, more her FIs finances.
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  • TheMrsTurtleTheMrsTurtle

    imagems_teach:
    I'd probably get her a card because I was taught good manners.  BUT, I'd make it a really generic one and not write anything gushy in it cause I'm sort of a B in situations like that.

     

    This is probably what I'll do. I also like to use my manners. 

     

    I know the ring size doesn't necessarily equate to her finances. Thank you for the gentle reminder :)

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  • MrsKtotheEMrsKtotheE
    imageTheMrsTurtle:

    imagems_teach:
    I'd probably get her a card because I was taught good manners.  BUT, I'd make it a really generic one and not write anything gushy in it cause I'm sort of a B in situations like that.

     

    This is probably what I'll do. I also like to use my manners. 

     

    I know the ring size doesn't necessarily equate to her finances. Thank you for the gentle reminder :)

     

    bonus points for a pic ;) 


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  • ms_teachms_teach
    Eh... it's probably fake.  ;)
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  • MrsMeyer7911MrsMeyer7911

    imagems_teach:
    Eh... it's probably fake.  ;)

    I also thought this may be true. Hahaha.

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  • ms_teachms_teach
    Great minds think alike!
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  • hibiscus118hibiscus118

    imagems_teach:
    I'd probably get her a card because I was taught good manners.  BUT, I'd make it a really generic one and not write anything gushy in it cause I'm sort of a B in situations like that.

     What she said, exactly. 

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  • TinyMrsHTinyMrsH
    I totally understand where you're coming from in your frustration Laura. I would probably buy the card, just so there was never any way for something negative to be said towards me.
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  • breanessbreaness

    imageTinyMrsH:
    I totally understand where you're coming from in your frustration Laura. I would probably buy the card, just so there was never any way for something negative to be said towards me.

    I agree. I would maybe even go as far as to give her a small gift. But then again, I'm not in the situation so I don't really know for sure how I would react. 

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  • risa1818risa1818
    imagebreaness:

    imageTinyMrsH:
    I totally understand where you're coming from in your frustration Laura. I would probably buy the card, just so there was never any way for something negative to be said towards me.

    I agree. I would maybe even go as far as to give her a small gift. But then again, I'm not in the situation so I don't really know for sure how I would react. 

    Brea is awfully nice because I say no gift. A simple card and generic bs is what I agree with. Don't put too much effort into it if she can't put too much into yours! 

     

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  • TheMrsTurtleTheMrsTurtle
    imagerisa1818:
    imagebreaness:

    imageTinyMrsH:
    I totally understand where you're coming from in your frustration Laura. I would probably buy the card, just so there was never any way for something negative to be said towards me.

    I agree. I would maybe even go as far as to give her a small gift. But then again, I'm not in the situation so I don't really know for sure how I would react. 

    Brea is awfully nice because I say no gift. A simple card and generic bs is what I agree with. Don't put too much effort into it if she can't put too much into yours! 


     

    I do agree with this too. Sorry ladies, but I ended up....err....modifying the above now that most of you all have read it. You know how I am :)

     

    I think this all stems from the fact that I never feel like anything is reciprocal with this particular friend. For example, I tried really hard to make plans with this friend when I was in town visiting family, and she didn't want to commit to making any plans with me because she had some other things potentially going on that night. I'm talking just hanging out with people she sees all the time, when I live hours away and hadn't hung out with her in a year, and only had that one night to hang out. She didn't tell me what the plan was until she was already at the place with her friends, and then invited me to basically tag along with them and what they were doing, and couldn't even give me a solid chunk of one on one time. I don't even know her other friends and wasn't in town to meet new people, I just wanted to spend some QT with her.

     


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  • breanessbreaness

    Ah, yeah, see, that's lame.

    My best friend came to my shower but didn't get me a shower gift. I wasn't really concerned because it's not her kind of thing so I was just happy that she came at all. 

    But she's the kind of friend that I can go months without talking to and when we see each other again it's like nothing has changed. And she's always there when I need her to be.

    I guess this friend isn't... and maybe just a card is all that's warranted. 

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  • MrsB617MrsB617
    I agree with just getting her a card and just signing your name not adding much to it. It doesn't seem like you friendship with her holds the importance in her mind that it does in yours :( I have a few friends like this!
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  • minionloverminionlover mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    I agree with everyone else...send her a generic congrats card then you can say that you sent one. From what you say, it doesn't seem like she will see the error of hers ways.
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  • Orchid2011Orchid2011

    imageMrsB617:
    I agree with just getting her a card and just signing your name not adding much to it. It doesn't seem like you friendship with her holds the importance in her mind that it does in yours :( I have a few friends like this!

    I'm sooo lost with what just happened lol. But I think I know what's happening so if I'm thinking correctly I totally agree with Erin here. Get her a very very very simple card and just sign your name. That is exactly what I'll be doing when I get invites from people who did the same to me. They'll be even lucky if I show up. That's just how I am. F the mannes lol just kidding Stick out tongue


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