Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WOW!
So, my family (dad's side) goes to the lake at the end of each summer. I
haven't had a very good relationship with my dad in 2 years (almost 3).
Here's some history for you - I used to visit my dad because he lives in Columbus, GA. I decided after he became negative towards me (calling me a b*tch, telling my I was conceited, telling me I thought my sh*t didn't stink, etc.) that I wasn't going to visit him anymore. He would only do this when he was drunk, which isn't an excuse and after he did it numerous times, I was done! I know that's selfish but I didn't want to be around all of the negativity.. I recently saw him at my graduation and he acted like NOTHING was wrong between us. After my graduation my family (mom's side and his parent's and sister) went to eat at Red Lobster to celebrate. His parents invited me to the lake this year and I haven't thought much of it. They even said my dad was pretty sure he wasn't going... Now he is and I'm second guessing if I should go (Is this bad?).
Tonight he called my brother to catch up and make sure he knew the date of this weekend they would be going so he could come if he wanted and mentioned that "I should come. He knows we're not on good terms but everyone would really love to see me."
I just don't know if I'm being selfish by not going and if I do, how much of an awkward position that puts me in. I'm kind of worried. I would love to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. But I'm kind of on edge with my dad and step-mom.
Does anyone want to help me out? It would be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks
Here's some history for you - I used to visit my dad because he lives in Columbus, GA. I decided after he became negative towards me (calling me a b*tch, telling my I was conceited, telling me I thought my sh*t didn't stink, etc.) that I wasn't going to visit him anymore. He would only do this when he was drunk, which isn't an excuse and after he did it numerous times, I was done! I know that's selfish but I didn't want to be around all of the negativity.. I recently saw him at my graduation and he acted like NOTHING was wrong between us. After my graduation my family (mom's side and his parent's and sister) went to eat at Red Lobster to celebrate. His parents invited me to the lake this year and I haven't thought much of it. They even said my dad was pretty sure he wasn't going... Now he is and I'm second guessing if I should go (Is this bad?).
Tonight he called my brother to catch up and make sure he knew the date of this weekend they would be going so he could come if he wanted and mentioned that "I should come. He knows we're not on good terms but everyone would really love to see me."
I just don't know if I'm being selfish by not going and if I do, how much of an awkward position that puts me in. I'm kind of worried. I would love to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. But I'm kind of on edge with my dad and step-mom.
Does anyone want to help me out? It would be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks
Kayeigh Garrett
Re: WOW!
Do you want to go?
If you want to go to see everyone then go, if you dont stay home.
You can go and act like an adult, say hello to them and move on. If your father starts acting like an ass, excuse yourself and leave.
Maybe he will be civil and things can start to develop after this.
I want to go, to spend time with everyone. I just don't want to be put in a situation I don't feel comfortable in. I decided if I go, I will only go up there for the day and bring a friend.
As far as my brother helping - He is still a teenager and he isn't very happy with how I've dealt with this situation and I can almost tell you that I'm 100% positive he will not back me up...
Why don't you call and/or visit your father and talk through the issues that make you feel uncomfortable to visit during a big family get-together?
All in all, no, I don't think attending a Big Family Event is the best way to move forward with a pervasive, long-term issue with your father.
At most, I'd dish out out the cash for a local rental to see everyone during the day and get out before dad gets drunk at night.
Obviously.