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TY note question

DH got a box delivered to him at work recently. He opened it and inside were little Timberland boots, a Timberland hat, a Mickey Mouse rattle and a nice crystal-ish looking passifier (for decoration). The box was from a co-worker and his wife. Now this coworker is also one of DH's close friends from HS, so he has known him at least 15 years.

DH got a call from this friend about work stuff and during this conversation we learned that his wife picked out all of the gifts for baby. We also learned that friend and his wife have seperated within the last few weeks.

My DH told friend over the phone TY for the gifts, how much we appreciate them sending us something, etc. Should we also send a note to the wife saying thank you? We only know wife through friend, not sure if that makes a difference?

Also I hope this makes sense. Strange situation to be in!

Re: TY note question

  • What makes it strange?  The fact that they've separated since the gift was sent?

    I would ask friend for his wife's new address and send a note to both of them.  It's double the note writing, but presumably the gift is from both of them, so sending a single note to one home is no long sufficient due to their separation.

    You may only know her through him, but she was thoughtful and kind and sent you a present - she deserves a TY as well.

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  • I think a sending a TY via mail to the wife would be appropriate since the couple has separated.  Do you have her new address?  (Assuming she moved out). 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    What makes it strange? 

    I guess I should have explained a little better. Sorry!

    They seperated and apparently it is/was a nasty one. DH got an ear full about all of the drama that is/was going on: the house they lived in was only in her name so she kicked him out, she never let friend adopt her daughter from a previous relationship, etc. I mean DH was on the phone with friend for 1.5 hours listening to the stories.

    I have only met her once in the 6 years that they've been together and that was at their wedding 4 years ago. So I don't have a phone number or address for her. And I don't know friend's phone number.

    I know I should send her a TY note, I just don't want to stir the pot anymore seeing as how DH will have to call friend and ask for his old address. But I shall send her one.

    Thank you!

  • I'd try to figure out how to send her a TY note - or an email or text or even through FB, but if you think its going to create drama for your DH I might let it slide. 

    She was trying to be nice and be a good friend to your DH even though the relationship was through her husband so it would be nice to acknowledge that, but I would hope she has bigger fish to fry at this point.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • While it may be tacky, if she's on FB, you could send her a message saying, "I wanted to drop a thank you note in the mail to you for the baby gifts to let you know how much we appreciated them. Can you confirm your address?"

    Or something like that...

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  • A gift is a gift and you need to express your thanks to the giver, no matter the situation.  Your DH's friend will be dealing with more emotional things than giving her address for a TY note.  If that stirs the pot, he's in for a world of hurt.
  • imagelsgarver:
    A gift is a gift and you need to express your thanks to the giver, no matter the situation.  Your DH's friend will be dealing with more emotional things than giving her address for a TY note.  If that stirs the pot, he's in for a world of hurt.

    Yup, I'm with LSG here. She and her then-husband sent you a box of gifts and the friend made it clear that she was involved in the gift-giving.  I think she absolutely deserves a thank you note, especially considering that she was doing this for you in the midst of what I imagine was/is a great deal of turmoil.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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