Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
i don't have an orgasm with him ....ever .
I haven't had an orgasm once with my fiance and I haven't wanted to tell him, because I thought if I tried different positions I would have one eventually. It's not that difficult for me usually . With past relationships I never had this problem, sex with him is good but no orgasms. I would like to find a way to have orgasms without having to tell him. Please help.
Re: i don't have an orgasm with him ....ever .
Dang Nest sent it before I was finished typing.
Give him some instruction. Tell him what feels good and what you could do with out. If he needs to move left or right, tell him. If you can't talk to him about sex, why are you having sex with him?
I think this might be an occaision for a 'white lie' to save everyones faces.......
.........Tell him that for some reason you are not able to orgasm any longer and that you need help to sort it out. That way you are in a prime position to discuss everything about your sex together and there is no blame attached to his part in the proceedings. If you tell him NOW That you have never had an orgasm with him he is going to be upset not only by that but because you have not told him.......
...........Tell a white lie and spare both your feelings!
I kind of agree with old bugle... Maybe just say you're having "trouble" and would really like to work on talking about what feels good for both of you to help sort it out. He may be kind of "ehh" about talking about it (some guys are), but once you get going, it might be kinda sexy!
Just don't get too scientific-sounding... ("Well, my pelvis should be here so you can avoid hitting my cervix... blah blah"), that's always a big turnoff for most guys, unless your man is an MD or something medical, then he may hate euphemistic names for parts.
I agree with PP who have said the white lie might be your friend here. There is no way to have an orgasm with him without telling him that it isnt happening. He isnt going to change anything if he thinks it is working. Just say that recently you havent been climaxing. Offer some suggestions as to what you would like to try to possibly help you. Think back to your previous partners and think about if there was something that they were doing that your current man isnt. Most men will want to make you orgasm so if you tell him that it isnt happening then he is probably going to be open to trying some new stuff. And lets face it, trying new things in the bedroom can be fun! I doubt he will be complaining.
I think that telling him you have been faking all along will only cause him to focus on the wrong issue. You said that sex is good just without the big O. Let him know that you still enjoy the sex. you just arent getting the big finish.
I agree with oldbugle. I told the little white lie to my husband before we got married (I never been able to orgasm with him and with the advice of my sisters told him i was having "trouble") He agreed to try different things and it worked (lack of foreplay was the issue). If you are still not comfortable telling him try masturbation and see what gets you "there" and then try it with him.
He need more experiences. I advise you too watch AV with him. I'm serious, this will help. Believe in me.
I agree, I cannot imagine not Oing with DH, but I would never fake it. Sure there are times he O's before I do, but he still has to finish the job...one way or another...
That you want to find a way to have orgasms without talking to your partner about it shows that you have some distorted, perhaps injurious default programs running in you. Miss-information or traumas in our past often result in inner association patterns in which our thoughts, opinions and judgments affect our physical experiences. The first step in really opening up to sexual orgasm is being in a mode of acceptance. This acceptance must start from within, with "Self." Only then can it be extended to include others, especially intimately.
Some study and applied technique from the authentic Tantra Traditions could prove very helpful in helping you through this important life challenge. I invite you to visit:
http:www.ormestemple.com (for more information about Tantra )
http://www.livinglightstore.com (for literature and course work on Tantra as well as other related subjects.)
Love and Joy, Beloved ONE:
TrybalQueen