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It's me again...
In my original post I was talking about how my husband does not want me going down on him. He feels it is disrespectful/degrading to women and he said he respects me too much to want that. He also said that there are much better places to put it lol. We dated 6 and a half years and waited for sex till marriage. I was a virgin, he was not.
I do think another aspect of this situation is that my husband totally gets off on pleasuring me. I don't mind doing oral, but I do not find it particularly hot or fun. Not to get too graphic here but he is rather large and I am very petite so it is quite awkward when I do try oral lol. I am new at having sex/doing sexual things so maybe it will just take more experience before he and I explore that avenue more? Or maybe I shouldn't over anaylize the situation and actually believe what he says when he says he thinks it is disrespectful and degrading towards women?
I am slowly learning that when men do speak, they usually mean exactly what they are saying. There is no hidden message to unravel, they are not mysterious beings like women are. There really is no issue here because he and I have a very active/great sex life, I just thought this was an interesting find- a man who thinks oral sex is disrespectful towards women.
Re: It's me again...
As a man I'm uneasy about this, as indeed you seem to be. Every coin has two sides,...and here I suspect we are only seeing one.
It's great that he respects you enough to really think about maintaining that respect and not wanting to do anything that ruins your mutual regard for eachother. On the other hand, he must have thought about this is the terms that oral sex is degrading to women and not to be a part of a loving relationship. This sort of implies to me that there is ANOTHER type of relationship with women that is also in his head.
Unfortunately, sex is NOT an intellectual activity it's about feelings and emotions and the stuff which turns us on is often a surprise to us and sometimes not very welcome. We can none of us really know WHY we are aroused by certain things, just that we are drawn to these things like a moth to a flame. If our arousal is inspired or particularly peaked by something we actually dislike the idea of,..such as "disrespect" to women, then conflict must ensue. Many people, of both sexes, are actually appalled by the idea that something is 'dirty', while also being secretly seduced by that same idea. As such it MUST be held back at all costs otherwise they feel that they would lose control of their feelings by giving way to their baser instincts.
If one really loves a person then they want to enable that person to have complete sexual expression and, from your posts, I'm sure you share that view. It might be a good idea to gently talk to your husband and try to get some insights into how his feelings about women in general are having an impact (or not) on your sexual relationship.
Obviously, oral sex does NOT have to be in any way disrespectful and can be extremely tender and intimate for both receiver and giver. Why dont you tell him that you would like to try it just once for your own sake,...and then see how he is when you actually have his penis between your lips and he is beginning to squirm....?
........You might find out some things about him that you were not aware of!