something wrong or is it all mental?

melindyjoybele · July 2011

Hello all, I have been putting off asking this question for some time but I feel like I need to get some answers and you are just the women who might have some advise on the issue...

I have been married 3 years now and had sex a bit longer than that. We have a great sex life, but I cant keep my body in sync with the moment. I get very involved and everything is feeling so good and then WHAM! I totally lose the moment and just want to move into a position that will make him finish quickly. I dont think its anything he is doing, and its not anything hurting. I just lose interest.

I really would like to overcome this and move on. I've never been able to orgasm because just as things get really good, I check myself out of the moment. Am I mental or is this something that other girls deal with too?

HotDish! · July 2011

This happens to me a lot. I'm 100% enjoying the moment and it feels great and then all of a sudden I lose it and all I can think of is how to help him finish. For me it's only been in the last few years since we've had kids and I feel like I just have so much going on in my mind that I start thinking of something else and it takes me out of the moment. Do you have a lot on your mind that may be holding you back from enjoying the moment? I find that if we spend more time on foreplay it helps.

purplefancy · July 2011

You'd better communicate with your husband what you were thinking, otherwise, you can't overcome this problem.

melindyjoybele · July 2011

I have always been honest with him about this issue. He is wonderful about trying to make me comfortable etc.

I used to have a hard time even getting to a point where I was really enjoying it, now I have made that last much longer but I still cant get past that point. I am no more stressed than any other time in my life, so I dont know if that is really a factor.

cndycne2005 · August 2011

This definitely happens to me too. I think PP's are right - you probably just have too much on your mind. As soon as my mind starts to wonder away from the act, I usually lose interest too. It's frustrating too, because I usually can't get get it back and it's hard enough for me to orgasm as it is. So, I try not to let that happen. I try to enjoy every little touch, every movement - really focus on letting go of the world for just a few minutes and enjoying the those moments with my husband. Usually, my libido thanks me for it. And definitely try to set the mood beforehand, whatever that means for you. Personally, I find that doing the deed in a messy environment (e.g. if our bed sheets are all askew or if laundry hasn't been put away, etc.) or if we're short on time for whatever reason, usually makes it harder, since it causes a distraction.

something wrong or is it all mental?

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