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Social anxiety tip

I have social anxiety too. I feel like noone wants to talk to me in a room full of people I don't know so I feel stupid standing in a corner drinking.  

I've been seeing a psychiatrist since losing Quincy and when I mentioned this, she gave me a great tip.  She told me to look at the people in the room and find someone who has something in common with me.  Or someone I would really like to talk to.

So, I tried it at a beach party recently. I saw a lady with a little girl and she had a diaper bag that said Carly.  I was like, this is it! this is my in with this lady. Even though she was heavily pregnant (not something I wanted to discuss), I still went up to her and told her my daughter was named Carly too.  The rest is history and we are great friends now who meet up at the park and the library all the time. 

 

Momma to 2 sweet girls here on earth and a precious baby boy in heaven

Re: Social anxiety tip

  • That's a good tip!

    Question for you: I really, really want to see a therapist but my social anxiety is holding me back from going. I am afraid I will not be able to even talk to one. Are they good at getting you to talk or am I going to be sitting there all awkward as usual? I'm not the type that can just talk about things, I need someone to ask me questions and prod me along basically. 

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  • gidgegidge member
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    Thanks for the tip.  Glad it worked for you!

    BabyRN - I've only seen one therapist, but she's been great.  Very good at asking leading/prompting questions if I get too quiet or even just asking about what I'm thinking when I pause.   The first visit was full of general family history type questions.  Since then we've usually gotten started with a "how are things going" and then she follows up with some points from a different appt.

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  • imageBabyRN2006:

    That's a good tip!

    Question for you: I really, really want to see a therapist but my social anxiety is holding me back from going. I am afraid I will not be able to even talk to one. Are they good at getting you to talk or am I going to be sitting there all awkward as usual? I'm not the type that can just talk about things, I need someone to ask me questions and prod me along basically. 

     

    I am a therapist and anxiety about the first session is one of the major obsticles to over come.  I find that once you get in the door and meet the person it becomes easier and you will be able to open up.  the first 2 sessions are normaly family hisrory and goal setting.  Therpist understand that it is difficulte to ask for help and I although i hate no talkers silance happens and the therapist will keep asking you thinks.  Just take some deep breaths and go in knowing that you are doing this for you and no one is judging you and stick with it. It will get better the bigest thing that we do is give you hope that it will get better and the therapist is here to help..

    Sorry for rambling hope it helps

  • That's a pretty good tip.

    For me, I'd still be afraid to approach her though because I'm not a chatty person, so I'm completely unable to keep a conversation going. I'm afraid to start a conversation for fear of not knowing what to say next. Silence is freaky! lol I usually end up making an excuse to get out of the conversation at that point.  Notice all of my friends are chatty people.  :) 

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  • great tip pandabear!  it's also helpful to remember that just because you are feeling a certain way in a social situation doesn't mean others have that same perception. our self-talk and thoughts are usually a far cry from reality.  one of my favorite quotes for clients is, "just because you believe it doesn't mean that it's true."  
    heroes
  • Sorry to be so late in responding-it's only 8:30 in Hawaii!

    But, ditto to the pp.  The sessions usually start out with how are you/how are things and we go from there.  I really like my psychologist-he's awesome and I look forward to getting his perspective on things.  My psychiatrist-eh-I was kind of using her for meds so we just recently broke up.   

    Momma to 2 sweet girls here on earth and a precious baby boy in heaven
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