August 2006 Weddings
kmpls
member
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Renewing wedding vows?
The J&K +8 post got me thinking about people renewing vows.
Am I the only one who thinks this is dumb? You only need 1 weeding, 1 vow to last a lifetime. It seems so indulgent and selfish to renew your vows. I don't find it sweet, etc.
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Re: Renewing wedding vows?
I totally agree. I think it's incredibly self-indulgent and AWish?
However, if you've been married for 50 years, I think you're allowed a little self-indulgence. ?
I agree and think it's dumb.
That said, I'm contemplating doing this after I am confirmed in the Catholic Church. ?We weren't married in the Catholic Church (but rather in a Protestant Church with dispensation from the Bishop and two?officiants). ?It means a lot to DH to do it in the Church, so I'm inclined to go along with it, but it won't be a huge or formal affair. ?
It depends.
My grandparents did it on their 50th anniversary. We have it on video, too. My grandfather is deceased and grandma has demetia, and it so great to be able to watch it and see how much they loved each other. It's a nice reminder.
The only time I think a second wedding is OK if its for religious circumstances, like Katies.
And, well, if you've made it 50 years then I think you deserve one hell of a party. Renewing vows still seems odd, but who am I to judge?
Oh, ANECDOTE TIME! My SIL eloped 12 years ago. 2 years ago (purposely or coincidentally near my wedding day, still trying to decide on that one), she wanted to renew vows with her H. Every.time. I saw her, she'd ask me if it was okay to have a gift registry, you know, b/c she didn't get one the first time around. I said I didn't know, thinking it was gaudy, but I understood how she felt. Luckily, she got pregnant about 2 months before my wedding, so after that everything focused on baby. All I ended up having to buy is baby clothes. Thank.God. I can't imagine having to have bought a bridesmaid gown for a renewal of vows...
Doing it on a special anniversary, like your 50th, seems great. ?The people who redo them after a few years b/c they didn't have their ideal wedding are pretty stupid IMHO. ?You don't get a do-over b/c you couldn't afford the big shindig you wanted. ?I understand that people who sign the paperwork first for military reasons or insurance reasons or whatever still want to have the wedding later, whether a few months later, or after a deployment or whatever. ?So long as you didn't get gifts the first time.
A woman on the military board talked about doing them annually on their annivesary. ?That's absolutely ridiculous. ? It's not like they have an expiration date.
I agree with pp. ?Katie's situation makes a ton of sense, and does doing it after 50 years or something. ?I'd rather just have a big normal party, but vow renewal is great for some.
As a side note, my grandparents had a big 50th anniversary party, and just a few months later, my grandmother went into a coma, came out after a month or so, but was never the same until she died. ?It meant a lot to us all to have that memory.?
(Sorry to bring down the thread..)?
I think anniversaries like that are fine. Even a 25 year one to me would be ok. It *could* be that J&K are on their 10th anniversary? Aren't the twins like 8 or so? Anything under 10 seems kind of like "wtf?" unless someone has an extra special reason like someone beat cancer or something "life affirming" like that, kwim?
Even so, no way should it be too wedding-esque. simple simple simple.
I think on a big anniversary 50, etc reciting or renewing vows is sweet but anything resembling a repeat wedding turns me off.
There are no do-overs.
Now a religous conversion etc for the church could be different also.
But I think no repeat big gowns or receptions, etc.
On my grandparents' 50th, we surprised them. ?We told them we were getting together for my birthday, but all their friends and family from all around the country were there. ?We also surprised them with the minister showing up for the renewal. ?All we asked for from the guests was that they bring pictures, and if they wanted, to write something for a scrapbook. ?Some of these people had known my grandparents all 50 years or more. ?There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
It shouldn't have been a surprise. ?We'd surprised Gramma's sister a few years earlier on her 50th, and my Gramma basically put together the surprise. ?We were having a family reunion, and we surprised them with a redo wedding. ?In think that's ok, too, since it was just their very large family celebrating it. ?It's actually fun to celebrate a wedding with the family that didn't exist prior to it. ?It was basically just a big party to honor the heads of the family and how much we valued their marriage.
I think the 50th anniversary is sweet. Katie's reason, for instance, is understandable and I'm sure I'd want to do it too.
I think it's tacky if the wife just wants to wear the wedding dress she didn't get to or have it at the reception hall they didnt' get to. It's not about that and after so many years the couple should know it's the marriage that's important, not the wedding.
To be honest, I'm not as interested in J+K as I used to be. I think their kids are adorable and I'm glad they can afford all these opportunities for them. But, the show was really good when they more like other families. Now, they seem more like celebrities. Their family members and friends that used to help them are all out of the show. It makes me wonder how they are treating people.