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And we're not going...

Probably most of you saw this in the other message. It just isn't conceivable, unfortunately. Really we're shouldn't have thought we could once the pressure sore developed knowing how serious they are and how easily and quickly they progress. DH has been VERY upset about it because a) he feels terrible that I can't go on the cruise b) he is sad because part of the cruise was to do a ceremony to scatter his dad's ashes and c) he's reliving everything he thought he'd put behind him 5 years ago after the surgery. It's c that's the hardest. We're both concerned that he could end up in the hospital again. He's already feeling like he's in prison having to be in bed basically all day. But it's the only way it will heal. Getting up as little as possible (which yeah, that's lots of fun for all). Transferring into and out of his chair is what is the most risky for setting back the healing, because the skin can shear/rub/tear of a sore/wound so easily when he uses the transfer board to and from his chair. And while traveling he would have had to do that several times between transportation modes.

There's so many extra factors; the fact that he had another sore (that has already healed) only a few weeks ago, the fact that this one is right on the bone and that it's skin and tissue that has already been grafted/worked with to cover the other side of his backside. I don't know if they could remove it and re-graft skin in that area, if it didn't heal. We know that they can't ever do the skin and tissue surgery again in the area that was covered/had the original sores 5 years ago. The area where this new one is is the skin that was taken to cover the other side. Sorry, I know this is kind of icky but I have to get it out. I'm not going to embarrass DH on FB.**SIGH** Have I mentioned this sucks?! Please keep thinking good thoughts, send out dust, good vibes, and mojo for this to heal up as soon as it can. Which is probably a couple of weeks.

ETA: His mom called to tell him they've decided not to do the ashes ceremony without him. So we'll do that somewhere in CA when he's able to be up and around again.

Re: And we're not going...

  • I'm so sorry. I'm so sad for you. Sending lots of healthy, healing dust to your dh.
  • I'm so sorry, H... I'm keeping your DH in my thoughts for a quick recovery.

     

  • So sorry, H. I know how much you were both looking forward to this trip. Sending lots and lots of healing thoughts to you and D.
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  • Many prayers for your and your family. So sorry to hear this news.
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  • Again, so sorry you guys are dealing with this.  I'm sure it's driving him crazy to have to stay in bed and be waited on.  He seems like a pretty independent guy and I can't imagine how upset he must be.  I hope he takes it easy on himself and doesn't beat himself up about it.  At this point all you can do is look ahead and be patient so it heals ASAP.

    Will you need to go to a doctor for an opinion or just wait for it to heal at this point?  Tell him the Nesties are thinking about him (and you)!

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  • I'm so sorry H. I'm bummed for you guys and I hope he starts to heal soon and feel better. This must be so hard on both of you. :(

     

  • You're making the right decision. I know it sucks, but his health is the most important thing. Keep on doing what you've been doing and you will get there together. (((hugs)))
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  • I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. :/ I agree with Passanie though... you're making the right decision. It's better for him to heal quicker, and even though you won't get to go on this cruise, there will be other vacation opportunities. Plus at least his mom is going to wait to scatter the ashes until he's there.

    Lots of T&P for you guys. 

  • I hope it heals fast. :( seems strange that the wY to heal a sure from staying in one place Is to stay in one place. Seems like a catch 22. Positive thoughts to both of you. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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  • I'm so sorry, H :(
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  • I'll be sending lots of T&P to your and hubs to heal. This must be so frustrating for both of you. It sounds like such a scary and difficult situation. I hope he heals quickly and without incident. 

    Take Care. 

  • Sorry to hear that you can't go on your vacation but as others have said, your husband's health is most important.
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  • 1st: the entire situation royally sucks. I'm so sorry and I'm sending you loads of hugs and healing thoughts.

    2nd: you are an amazing wife (heck, person) - make sure to take some time to take care of yourself. I know you're focused on him, and that's important, but you're no good to anyone crazy ;-)

    Keep us posted.

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  • I'm so sorry about this, H.  I hope things begin to look up for you guys, and that Drew's health improves.  HUGS!

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  • I'm really, really sorry to hear this, H.  It's a sucky situation for both of you.  I hope he heals quickly and I agree with EmmieB- do what you need to do to keep your spirits up, ok?  You guys are really good to each other, and I admire you as partners.  But take care of yourself as well as D.


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  • imageRock-n-Voll:

    Again, so sorry you guys are dealing with this.  I'm sure it's driving him crazy to have to stay in bed and be waited on.  He seems like a pretty independent guy and I can't imagine how upset he must be.  I hope he takes it easy on himself and doesn't beat himself up about it.  At this point all you can do is look ahead and be patient so it heals ASAP.

    Will you need to go to a doctor for an opinion or just wait for it to heal at this point?  Tell him the Nesties are thinking about him (and you)!

    Ah yes, he is Wink. He absolutely hates it. He was VERY upset yesterday (at himself) but he's calmed down today. We're going to play it by ear. He knows he has to stay in bed, I change the dressing every couple of hours to monitor progress and clean it out. If it continues to heal on it's own in the next few days we'll just keep that up. If it doesn't continue to heal we'll have to go to the hospital. General Practitioners can't do much for these because they aren't specialized enough. They'd tell us stuff we already know. If he was admitted to the hospital, a wound care team would treat him. Hopefully it won't get to that point.
  • imageCarFar:
    I hope it heals fast. :( seems strange that the wY to heal a sure from staying in one place Is to stay in one place. Seems like a catch 22. Positive thoughts to both of you. I'm sorry you are going through this.
    Well, lying down, not sitting on it-that's bad. And remember he has this special bed that is just air and fluidized sand in constant motion. It doesn't allow any pressure. It's the best thing for people with pressure sores. It's not fun to have on all day in the summer though because it releases a lot of hot air. It has to be kept at that temperature though.
  • imageEmmieB:

    1st: the entire situation royally sucks. I'm so sorry and I'm sending you loads of hugs and healing thoughts.

    2nd: you are an amazing wife (heck, person) - make sure to take some time to take care of yourself. I know you're focused on him, and that's important, but you're no good to anyone crazy ;-)

    Keep us posted.

    Aw thanks, E. Yes, you guys have to keep me sane! That's what I relied on when I was planning our wedding 5-7 years ago. Some of you were on the Knot with me then!
  • I'm so sorry you guys are going through this right now. Sending a lot of thoughts and prayers your way for a speedy recovery.
  • Thanks! And anyone who wants to visit us would be welcome. We can't go anywhere until this heals, unfortunately.
  • h-

    i'm sorry that all of this is happening.  but it isn't a bad thing that you aren't going on the cruise.  the last thing you want to do is for this to get worse.  sitting in an airplane for long stretches of time wouldn't be a good idea esp since D wouldn't have a way to change positions.  Sad i know that you're bummed.  i'm just hoping that D can heal up soon and not have to deal with this again for a very long time.  just remember that protein and vitamin c are both really good for wound healing.  Smile

  • imagemellyjoy:

    h-

    i'm sorry that all of this is happening.  but it isn't a bad thing that you aren't going on the cruise.  the last thing you want to do is for this to get worse.  sitting in an airplane for long stretches of time wouldn't be a good idea esp since D wouldn't have a way to change positions.  Sad i know that you're bummed.  i'm just hoping that D can heal up soon and not have to deal with this again for a very long time.  just remember that protein and vitamin c are both really good for wound healing.  Smile

    Thanks we remembered the protein from when he was seen by a nutritionist last time we dealt with these. I got him Ensure and protein bars. I'll see what I can do about Vitamin C. He takes a multivitamin everyday but maybe he should start having orange juice everyday. It was hard at first to get his mom to understand why there was no way we could go. She did when I reminded her of everything that she'd tried to forget about from years ago. If we had gone, he was going to sit on his Roho cushion on the plane but that would still have been a long time to sit. And we had an air mattress pad for him to sleep on top of the regular bed in the hotel and on the ship. But those things would have just been necessary due to having had sores in the past. 10 days off the Clinitron bed is a long time and could have caused a sore. For having a current one, he has to be on that Clinitron all day, every day, for probably a few weeks. Fun summer!
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