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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WDYT: Happiness Philosophy
A girl I only remotely knew in high school posted to FB: "The secret to happiness is accepting where you are in life". As one of those people for whom there is no ceiling for expectations and I can never do enough, I totally side-eye this yet, I imagine it is quite contenting to be ok with where you are right now.
Thoughts? Do you agree with her secret to happiness?
Re: WDYT: Happiness Philosophy
I think her comment is about being in the moment and acknowledging/accepting the present instead of constantly striving for the next thing w/o noticing what's going on around you now.
I'm not really sure I want "happiness" as a constant state or goal even, I strive for contentment
I think she has a point. I know so many people who are always jonesing for the next thing, the next step, a bigger house, a new car, a better job, getting married, having a baby, losing 20 lbs, getting plastic surgery, etc. like one or a combination of those things would magically make them happy.
ETA- I was typing one handed before- I think there is a difference between accepting one's lot in life and being content with where you are/what you have and being completely complacent with one's life. I think it's possible to be happy and content with where you are, but still seek to improve oneself.
I have a friend who recently moved- for the 3+ years I have known her she complained pretty much non-stop about living in MD, every other day on FB she b!tched about something and always blamed it on MD. So she finally moved. I joked that rainbows and puppies were going to shoot out her car's exhaust pipe when she crossed the Mason Dixon line, as I seriously doubt that moving 8 hrs away (and not really any closer to family, farther away from friends) is going to magically make her happy.
I do agree with it, because that is basically my philosophy as well. I dont think it means "accepting" as in, you don't strive to change your life or you don't have goals or expectations, I think it means more appreciating the present and realizing that while you may want more or better things or a different job or more money or more financial freedom etc etc, you can still enjoy where you are. It's not about not wanting to move forward in life, it's about knowing that for right now, you are here, and here is pretty good, even if it may seem pretty crappy in some ways.
H and I are really happy. We have goals and expectations that we are working to fulfill, but we have a plan and we know it will come together. So we do what we can do to meet those goals while enjoying where we are. We don't get so focused on the goals that we are unhappy with the present, which I think can happen to some people.
I kind of see where she is coming from. If I let myself, I will get pretty down on myself thinking about how we are stuck in our house, not exactly where we want to be financially and just get caught up in the things I would like to change. However a quick flip through the channels and watching a few minutes of Hoarders, Intervention, or Teen Mom usually gives me a reality check and makes me realize my life is pretty good.
Having said that its not like I just accept this is how things are and settle. I constantly have a plan on improving things. If I had to pick a puke-worthy motivational statement to live by, it would be "Happiness is a journey, not a destination."
I get it, and kind of agree. They way I interpret it is like, just stoping to enjoy the moment you are in. Like when you have a 3 week old baby, sure it would be great to be at the point where they are sleeping through the night, but you need to stop and enjoy those silent moments where it's just the two of you at 3am and you have a tiny baby snuggling you, enjoy that moment of happiness. Or you have a big vacation coming up in a month that you are really really looking forward to, but still trying to enjoy the weekends and the time you have with your family and friends and all the fun activities you have planned up until the vacation.
To me it kind of addresses the "if" people that always think, "if I had this, go there, do that I would be happy" or "if I could just get that promotion I would be happy." I'm always keeping my eye out for oppportunities, experiences, but also enjoying the time that I'm in and what I have.
This. I think you can strive for a better job, a better financial position, changes in your surroundings, etc., and still live in the moment and be at peace with the present.
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d
My dad (a therapist and a minister) always told me that happiness isn't everything...you can't spend your life trying to be happy all the time. Just won't happen. However, you can be content with where you are; if you're paying attention you find blessings. I think that's what she's saying. You can be content most of the time.
Honestly, I'd love to have a career, live in a house, be in the South, etc. Instead I'm about to be a SAHM living in a rental apt in MD. And I can't honestly tell myself that I'm not content with being where we are. Not anything close to what I expected but it's not too shabby either.
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