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Desperate need for sleep advice
My son is almost 18 months old. Ever since June 1st he has woken up almost every night. I know how to get him to go back to sleep, my issue is that I don't know WHY he's waking up. At first we attributed it to his teeth (he got 8 teeth all at once, including molars). But now we are 2 months into this and he is still waking up. And its not just a little fussing it is full blown screaming mama at the top of his lungs. Like he is suddenly awake and scared. I have tried everything I can think of. Bottle/no bottle, soy milk/regular milk, very bland foods, mommy/no mommy putting him to sleep, advil/tylenol/gas drops/teething gels/etc, bigger diapers, no lights/nightlight. Nothing works. There hasn't been any changes to his daycare routine or everyday life. I have tried letting him cry. He cried for 2.5 hours. I will not let him cry it out again, that was the most awful night of my life. And it didn't fix anything, I just gave up after 2.5 hours and he did the same thing the next night. To me that seemed like torture, for both of us. I have googled and researched and I can find TONS of things saying that other people have this problem but NO ANSWERS.
HELP please!!!
Re: Desperate need for sleep advice
He could be experiencing nightmares / night terrors, and waking up scared. Has anything in his room changed? Perhaps something is casting a shadow that when he wakes up, it's scaring him?
I wish I had more insight. Shannon has been waking up once during the night, and typically sleep cries at least once too, for at least two years now. Once I was potty training her, I quickly realized that she wimpered/cried/woke up around the time that she had to pee. She pees during the night just about every night, even with us trying all the stay-dry methods (limiting drinks after supper, going to the bathroom a couple times before bed)... Now, it's an easy thing, when she cries, I go in to help her to the bathroom, and then it's back to bed.
I guess I don't have much real advice, but if it continues, it might be worth bringing up to your pediatrician. ((( hugs )))
First - **HUGS**
Ben did this for about 3 weeks every night around age 2. For Ben we *think* it was a combination of 2 things. 1) hunger and 2) nightmares.
Same here - he would cry forever if you didn't go in there (I've done CIO w/ both kids as infants, this was way different). We were int he middle of battles over food - he had turned picky and we were trying to make sure he ate healthy food for dinner, etc. Well, he wasn't eating enough, so at like 4:30 am every night he woke up b/c he was hungry (we think). We gave up the battles, let him have his damn waffles for dinner, and it literally stopped instantly.
Now, I have NO idea if that was really the problem, or if it was the dinnertime battles causnig him nightmares - who knows. But I know it sucks and it's not easy - talk to your doctor, they may have some good ideas.
"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
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What is your routine to put him down for the night? Is he falling asleep on his own or are you helping him to sleep?
I would guess by now that maybe it started out as some sort of issue, but not it's a habit and you need to break it.
I hate CIO too. My pedi suggested a method she calls the "put down" method. You stay in the room with them (I have a hope chest I sit on or a blanket on the floor i"ll lay on) and whenever they stand up you walk over and lay them down and say it's time to go to sleep. The first ngiht I guarantee you'll have some crying, but you'll be in there as a source of comfort.
I actually have a little blanket on the floor to lay on for nights like that - where she wants me in there. I'll stay in the room for comfort, but not right next to the crib - so I'm in the room and I can say soothing things (I usually sing the song that's part of our night time routine or do sh-ing). If she stands up I lay her down and say "It's night night time". Then I back up and sit down or lay down. My pedi said I can gradually increase my distance away...hasn't worked so far, but sometimes I'm in there a while to put her down.
Since we started this, she sleeps through the night. I think it was 3 nights of her waking up and by the 4th night, she woke up, tossed and turned. Said momma once and then put herself back down. I think she realized that Momma would come if needed, but that Momma wouldn't pick her up or hold her like she wanted.
Maybe try something like that.
I did it starting on a Friday night since I don't work weekends so we could both sleep in a little if we need be. Now she'll actually sit up and I wait to see if I'll put her down or not...sometimes I need to, sometimes I don't. I also have some nights where she starts to think it's a game and stands up and laughs and I'll give her 2 shots to go back down with me in the room and then I'll say it's night night time and leave the room for a few minutes - and inevitably, she'll fall asleep.
So to sum up my crazy long post - I think he's gotten into the habit of waking up at this time now due to whatever caused it first and getting a response from you. You need to break the cycle in a way that shows him you'll be there if he really needs you, but only providing minimal comfort - don't do CIO if it's not for you.
Good luck!
Thanks for the advice and the hugs ladies. His bedtime routine has gradually switched from falling asleep in my arms while drinking a bottle to falling asleep on his own in his crib. That is a whole other story for another post someday.
Last night he took 2 hours to go to sleep. I have been in the room with him while he goes to sleep so last night I tried to leave the room. He cried a little and sometimes he would let me leave for up to 5 minutes or so before he cried for me to come back. So he went to sleep at 9:30 and woke up at 6:20 crying for me. Definitely not enough sleep. So I let him soothe himself back to sleep and 10 minutes later he was asleep on his own again. I consider it a small victory because he didn't get up at 1am or 2am like he has been doing.
Thanks for the support ladies!