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Would you ever?
So I just had a baby 7 months ago and I'm still a little insecure about my body. ( you know the extra skin and stretch marks) . In the last two months I have noticed my DH looking up porn. Porn doesn't usually bother me but I guess with our sex life the way it has been,and the way I feel about my body its starting to get to me. I have asked him why he watches it but never tries to initiate sex with me. He stated its not that he doesn't want to because he loves having sex with me but by the time I get home he is tired ( and so am I ). So we usually just go to bed.
Our sex life use to be amazing, i'm talking mind blowing,kinky sex. Yes being pregnant and having a baby has made that suffer . We still have sex 2x a week but not as often as we use to.
So my question is, would I be insane to ..lets say make a tape of me doing things and giving it him? Instead of him looking up porn and thinking about other girls,while beating off, atleast he would be looking at me and thinking about me. I know tapes and pictures can be out there forever but i feel like I kinda want to do this,to not only "please" him but maybe help me get over my body issues. Please let me know if you think this is crazy stupid or give me any ideas lol
Re: Would you ever?
why if u just start with sexy pics instead a video???
A video sound a lil bit more 'serious".... try with pics in sexy really sexy lingerie nd if he "behve" u move up with the video!
How about starting with communication?
Tell him you'd like to have more sex with him.
Twice a week for a couple that are new parents sounds great to me. You're doing fine -- but if you want more sex, you need to tell him exactly that.
The ideas you've given him sound fine -- but I would make sure that I kept sole possession of the tape and that it's nothing he can send to somebody else or show to somebody else. I don't mean to be an alarmist.
What else would be fun and a nice gift too: look into bouidoir photos. They don't have to be full nude -- you could use lingerie, maybe have a retro set of photos taken of you (maybe something "Cheesecake 1940s" -- look up cheesecake photos ont he web if you've never heard of them, maybe photos of you in a bikini or your favorite bathing suit.
Baby weight? This too shall pass.:) Good luck.
We have talked and talked about it lol. The problem is we both work stressful jobs ( law enforcement) he works 12 hour shifts ( 7-7 but has to be up at 5 for an hour drive and I work 2-10pm or 12-10pm) So yes by the time I get home I'm exhausted and so is he, plus if work sucked all we want to do is have a beer talk about our day and go to bed. We both have said we want to have more sex but when it comes down to it we both suck at actually doing it. thats why i thought if I spiced things up a little or did a shock and awe, maybe we could get back to where we were before DS
No body should have to see this body in a bikini or a bathing suit for a long time.
Twice a week is pretty good, honestly. Especially with the jobs you have going and a new baby. If you want more than twice a week talk to him about how you can make it happen. Ask him if HE wants more sex or if he is satisfied with the frequency now.
Give yourselves a break, you can't expect to keep up with your former selves on the sex life. A lot has changed and so must your sex life. This doesn't mean it can't be just as wonderful-- you just have to work your way through it. Enjoy!
I think that considering the situation, 2x a week is good. Your sex life will get back on track. I don't think there's anything wrong with a video, but I'd make sure you really want to do it, not just because you feel bad about the amount of sex you're having.
I like the idea of sexy pictures, you could see if you're comfortable with that and then see what you want afterwards.