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I can't reach orgasm without a vibrator...
Hi everyone. I'm fairly new to The Nest, so I apologize if this question has been asked before. I'm wondering if there are ladies here who are in (or were in) a similar position as me. To my recollection, I have never been able to orgasm without the assistance of a vibrator. I understand foreplay, lube, and arousal are all important factors, and my husband and I don't ususally lack in those departments. It's just that no matter how excited I am, no matter what positions we try, my body just doesn't build enough excitement from the motions for me to orgasm. At some point, he always has to ask, "Should I get the toy?" or just preemptively will have it already placed under the pillow or something. I feel terrible every time. He's a great lover - very in-tune to my preferences, and caring and explorative and will do whatever I need to enjoy each and every time. It sometimes can take a while for me to really get going, and I never really reach orgasm without the help of "toy". I just want to it to be easier for him (and myself) and without the need for the toy. We've been sexually active for about 4 years (we became active before marriage and he was my first and only, if that matters) so I thought that maybe this is just something that I'll have to deal with, but I want to try to take a fresh approach to the matter, especially now that we are married. I am healthy according to regular gyno visits but is there something else I should/could do or try? Have any of you had this problem and (hopefully) overcome it? Or do you have any other thoughts/suggestions? I haven't spoken to doctor about it in all this time... I'm kind of embarrased about it, which I know I should get over. Plus, I'm already taking regular medication for Lupus and I would hate to have to potentially add more medication to the pool. However, at this point, I'm willing to try anything. Thank you in advance. I'm sorry if this is TMI.
Re: I can't reach orgasm without a vibrator...
I cant either
its normal...
the extra stimulation helps...
You definitely aren't the only one. I used to be this exact same way. I just could not get there without my vibe.
After exploring partners, and figuring out what I really like (a lot of foreplay, sometimes watching something gets me going and it's pretty easy from there), I'm able to do it myself, or tell my partner how I like to be touched (and at what speed, pressure, etc).
It's definitely something I struggle with because sometimes during sex, I just know that I won't be able to orgasm without the help of my vibe. Other times, I tell myself, "OK, I know you've got it in you, just relax and think about something that'll get you going..." and then it sometimes will happen. I definitely have to work at it if I don't have a vibrator. It's crazy that guys don't really have to work at anything in order to orgasm.
Whereas, a lot of women have to move mountains in order to do it!
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
This.
I have this same issue, but don't really consider it a problem
We both enjoy ourselves - a lot - so it doesn't bother either of us.
This totally! If you're looking for something you can use hands free, we bought the wireless Double Trouble C-ring from pure romance (I think they have a site, but you could google it. I bought mine at a party). And WOW. I have problems reaching orgasm without a vibrator and I'm not really a fan of being on top. But this seriously made me orgasm multiple times and I LOVED being on top.
We were really nervous to try it at first, but I'm glad we did.
I'm excited to try using it in other positions.
Shy & Zeus
I can't either. I need a clit stimulator. And to be honest, I also like it because it's easier. I don't want to have to work 20 minutes for an orgasm. That's exhausting.
Embrace it