We are struggling here
We ended up at the pedi on Thursday evening with Ellie because of extreme gas/tummyaches. She screamed all morning, not normal crying but screaming like I hadn't heard her do before and was rejecting the breast completely when I called the doc. She still hasn't pooped (8 days and counting) and has lost about 2 oz in weight. She is having good urine production, but I'm starting to get freaked out. The verdict for now is.....she's not getting enough to eat. So we are having to supplement with a second formula bottle in the afternoon while we figure things out. We have an appt tomorrow with the lactation consultant and another appt with the pedi on Monday.
This is SO HARD! I never expected it to be easy, but I had no idea that BFing could be this hard. I said from the beginning I wuold try it because it was healthy for her and for me, etc. and if it didn't work out that was OK. I did not bet on the extreme emotions associated with it. I cry so much (once yesterday, 3 times so far today). Did anyone else go through the baby blues like this? I just want a healthy and happy baby. If that means formula that's OK, it's this uncertainty that is killing me. In my head I know that if it doesn't work out it's no one's fault, but I still get this emotional reaction everytime we talk about it. Ellie is hungry all the time and everytime she cries I wonder if she's not getting enough milk because of something I'm doing.
Please say a prayer for me ladies! I'm trying so hard to be strong but I feel like I'm failing miserably ![]()
UPDATE: We had a very good appt with the lactation consultant today. She watched me BF and adjusted the latch a little but said that really I'm doing everything correctly. She looked at my feeding log and Ellie's urine output and lack of stool and said she thinks it's just low milk supply. I nursed for about 20 minutes with a weigh-in before and after and her weight didn't change. We fed her 2oz of formula and her weight went up immediately. So even though I can squeeze milk out, she's just not getting much at all.
We're now on a schedule to nurse, pump, and then feed a bottle with anything I've pumped plus formula with the goal of getting a bowel movement. The nurse is concerned that at some point the digestive tract will get sluggish and other issues can crop up.
I'm happy to say that just now, at about 10:30pm we just changed our first poopy diaper in 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not express the relief we are all feeling. I think we all danced around for about 5 or 10 minutes. We are still going in to the pedi in the morning for another weigh-in, but hopefully my baby girl will start gaining weight now. Once she does and my milk comes in better, we can start dropping a few formula feedings and replacing them with an all-BF session.
What a difference a day can make! I know we still have a long way to go, but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the prayers and support ladies! I will keep updating as things progress!
Re: UPDATE: Pray for me and my sanity!
Obviously, I have no advice for you.....but you're not failing! I promise. You're doing the best that you can, and that's what is important. You would only be failing as a mom if you didn't care. You love Ellie, and you're doing everything you can for her.
::::hugs::::
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Thinking of you guys. Hopefully you can figure out what to do for little Ellie. You have to do what is best for you and Ellie. Hopefully you guys can get BF down pat but if you have to do formula then that is what you have to do.
You are not failing and remember you are doing the best you can do and that is all you can do. You are a great mom.
Take a deep breath! Like Carrie said you are not failing! you are just working it out. Almost everyone has some soft of BF complication in the begining. It's not all or nothing, help is out there and if you are hard headed enough you will figure out a way to make it work.
I hope that the lactation consultant can help you. I'm trying to rack my brain here...no bowel moevment for 8 days on a new born is an issue, but idk if it's bc she's not getting 'enough' b/c her urine output is good and i assume she's not dehydrated. didn't you say that you're on an iron sup? I'm wondering if you're milk isn't super full of iron and stopping her up.
Do you feel anemic? If not, lay off the iron for a few days maybe and see if that doesn't help. You may just need a different suppliment.
OK...think about that and keep in mind that any formula she's getting is also full of iron.
Have you been pumping? what's your output?
As far as the baby blues, i've been there. After Luke it was bad. We had BFing issues too and I was so upset about the c/s. You have to take care of you too. If you need to give the baby to DH and sit in the tub and cry then that's what you do!
If the baby will latch why don't you try a nurse-cation...as we call it...get top less, get the baby in just a diaper, do lots of skin to skin, nurse when she wants and nap when she does..a day or so of that does wonders for everyone..sort of puts everyone on the same page.
Shoot me an email or call/text me of you need me. tiffany kleynhans at yahoo dot com or 985 696 3667.
You sound exactly like me Kellie. You have lasted longer than I did. Emmy would SCREAM anytime I held her and tried to feed her because she couldn't latch and I wasn't producing. I cried pretty much all day every day for her first week. We spent every day at the pedi's office trying to work things out. Whether you stick with nursing or switch to formula, you are not failing! You two are working things out as best you can and you are making what you think are the best decisions for you and Ellie. I know this is hard, but try to remain calm about it, because Ellie can pick up on your frustrations and will make her more upset. Text me if you need someone to chat with. Hang in there, I PROMISE it will get better!
Baby #2 - D&E - 10/1/10 @ 19w2d - thanatophoric dysplasia confirmed.
Charlotte Lillian will be forever in our hearts.
Baby #3 - Little Bean - natural miscarriage - 1/17/11 @ 5w5d
Hang in there, Kellie! :-( I feel your pain.
You are NOT a failure. Think about it - 2 weeks later and you've managed to keep your baby girl alive. When James was just a few weeks old, I would always look at him and think, "well, you're still alive, so I must be doing something right, because I have no clue what I'm doing!"
BF'ing is not easy! It took me (and James) about 4 weeks to really get the hang of it, and we had a lot of issues similar to yours. James dropped A LOT of weight in the hospital (more than the norm) and it took him 2 weeks to start gaining significant amounts. In fact, it wasn't until 3 weeks that he was back up to his birth weight (it's not supposed to take that long). He had SEVERE gas, which didn't improve until around 4 months old (he's only 4 months, 3 weeks now). Gas drops did absolutely nothing, he went to the doctor and there was nothing they could do. He just had to mature and he finally got over it, even though I swore it would never end.
And the baby blues are no fun. I always wrote it off as severe sleep deprivation, but looking back, I think it was a small case of baby blues (although I'm sure lack of sleep was part of it). I cried all of the time, would often get really frustrated with James (which made me feel horrible), and I stressed out over everything. Now that he's on more of a schedule, and healthy and thriving, I wish I would have chilled a little more and enjoyed those newborn days, because you don't get them back. If you start feeling stressed or down, don't feel bad about leaving Ellie with DH or something, and just go to the store, go get some Starbucks, a pedicure, anything that will help you perk up (if you're in good spirits, it will help your supply too).
I'll be praying for you - I know how hard it is, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. If you need to talk or need support, we are all here for you!!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I feel like this is the stuff you don't hear about.
It sounds like you have a great and much needed update. Hang in there!
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Way to go Ellie. I am happy that you had a great LC consultant and I think that will probably help you so much to have someone there that you can go to and help you. That sounds like a good plan and hopefully your milk will come in soon and you won't have to supplment with formula.
You are doing good and know that Ellie loves you and knows that you are doing everything that you can for her.
Good luck at the pedi today and that she has gained some weight.
I agree that we hear the good stuff but maybe we need to talk about the tough stuff to help each other out. I know for me I am glad there are some experienced ladies on here that I can ask for advice because I am sure that I will have plenty of questions.
I am glad Ellie is doing better and hopefully she had a good night.
Heather, a few of us had some really scary experiences, and I for one don't post them out of respect for the mommies to be. Not sure you really want to hear about them this close to your due date... I know I wouldn't want to. Questions, however, that I can do. I am sure any of us will be more than happy to help you out
Yay Ellie!!!! Poop is good! WooHoo! I bet you are so relieved, Kellie (and so is she
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No I meant answering questions more than anything (telling us the good and bad and like the advice you guys gave Kellie that it is okay to hand child to DH and cry or it is okay to step away). I think the scary experiences would scare me right now