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When you're miserable, do you stick it out?
I'm miserable at my job. It's frustrating because I have my dream job title, but the people I work with, my bosses, and the company as a whole makes me miserable. I am constantly belittled, berated, and blamed for things (well, it's not just me, it's the company climate. Everyone here goes through this and we have extremely high turnover). The top boss makes stuff up in her head and then gets mad at you over it. At last week's staff meeting, I was called stupid in front of the entire staff because I referred to "page views" as "hits." (I'm serious. You can't make this stuff up).
I have been off antidepressents for about 6 months, but am currently wondering if I need to go back on them..solely because of this job.
I do freelance work on the side (I'm a writer/editor). However, there is no guarantee I could equal my pay now, and it's not like we're currently rolling in dough. However, I would have an income source and it would free up time to go on interviews.
My husband is just not convinced I could make enough for our needs. But I think we could cut back and be OK. But I just dont' know what to do.
Re: When you're miserable, do you stick it out?
I had a job that had me in tears every single night and during every lunch break. I would have eaten beans and rice for every meal to get myself in a happier place and better state-of-mind.
Is being miserable worth the money? Can you find a lower paying job that you would enjoy? Is your field one where you can transfer easily?
Life's too short to be miserable.
Have you started looking for another job? Take a realistic look at your finances, see if there are extras you're willing to cut or things you can go without. Look at what you realistically can make freelancing and if the numbers add up then yes, I would quit.
If the numbers don't add up and you need to continue working, give yourself six months to focus on applying for other positions and building your freelance business. During those six months save as much money as you can. It's much easier to find a job when you already have one. At the end of 6 months if you haven't found anything then quit, continue freelancing and know that you may have to get a part time job to make ends meat. If you have found a job, then take the money you saved and go on a vaca w/ the hubby - you earned it
It sounds like you are in a pretty toxic work environment. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.
Take a long hard look at your finances. How long can you literally survive without a paycheck? Start living on that amount now, keep working your job, and sock away all the money you can. Start applying for jobs now. Set aside 1-2 hours in the evening if you can and some time on the weekends and set the goal to apply for 5 jobs a week. At some point, you may want to leave your job to pursue finding another full time, but I'd do the best you can not to just to keep your finances stable.
I'd hang in there for the time being, but turn your focus to looking for another job.
I'm sorry to hear you're miserable! I've been in your position and it was very difficult. The boss lady was emotional and she quit smoking so that made her life and ours THAT much worse! it sounds like your boss is very similar to my previous boss. There was one day that I upset my boss (because of making a simple sales call) so badly that I was sent home. Like I was a kindergartener or something.
I got out of mine just in time. Check your network and see if your friends or family have heard of an opening somewhere else. Sometimes it'll sneak up on you and it's a great surprise.
I hope you can find a way out of it because life is not enjoyable at all when you have the fear of work on your brain. Best of Luck! Keep us updated!
i had this issue- although not as bad, I started looking for a new job immediately and stayed there until I had a new one. Our finances couldn't handle me being out of work as I'm currently bringing in more. I only had to stick it out two more months before I found something, so i got lucky. Best of Luck, its a terrible situation to be in.
Like the others said though, if you feel your finances can handle it, i would quit to save my sanity and put all your efforts into interviewing
I would do what other posters are suggesting. See if you have enough saved for you to quit now, and start looking and sending your resume out. I would also post something on facebook (I do NOT friend coworkers, so I can do this!) about your search. I am in the same boat. I work part time and my boss has me scheduled 12 hour days. When I aked her why she shrugged and blew me off. I am almost to the point where I cry before work.GL !
I am in your exact same situation now. I've started looking for a new job and have an appointment with my therapist this week because my stress level is so high I'm having physical symptoms.
I would say stick it out until you line up another job. I know it;s hard to get up everyday and deal with the office BS, but if your finances can't handle a drastic paycut, Stick it out.
If you can afford to leave, do so. My feeling is that no job is worth total misery. You only live once and any job that brings you to tears often or affects other parts of your life is not worth sticking out.
I was in a horrible job situation and I ended up taking a lower paying and lower level job just to get out of there. I would do it all over again.
Instead of wondering about what-ifs, I'd sit down with your DH and talk about what your current financial situation is and what it would be like as a freelancer. See if you could swing it in the short-term while you either find another job or get the freelance stuff going. If the #s work out, yes, I'd totally quit. If they don't, I'd stay but be mailing out my resume to everyone I could think of.
GL
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
I've had 2 jobs like that.
The first was abusive and I left after 6 months without anything lined up. The owners were verbally abusive and had shady borderline-illegal business practices that I would not participate in. It was very clear that unless I complied, my life would be miserable. Made miserable by the owners. I made it until my wedding and then quit when I got back from the HM.
I was unemployed for 2 months and took the first job offered to me because I felt that I needed to contribute financially to our new marriage. I was miserable there and stayed because I didn't want to be a job hopper and we bought a house about a year into that job. I was hired to be the manager of the department and almost immediately, they told me that the position was no longer needed and I'd be just a regular member of the department. Then I was the only person in the department and they changed my duties significantly. I used to sit in my cube and hide because the owner would go around cube to cube and berate the employees for not doing what he expected (he was a tyrant). I turned into a person I didn't even recognize - I used to go into the bathroom and cry, I was on antidepressants, and I used to get physically ill thinking about going to work on a Sunday night. I didn't want to look like a job hopper and turn off potential employers, so I stayed. I was in a car accident on the way to work one day (someone rear-ended me on the highway) and I was happy because I'd miss a day of work. Yikes!! Eventually, I realized that I needed a big change and I changed careers completely. I haven't looked back. I can't believe I tortured myself like I did at that job. I would never put myself through that again. I was scared about leaving though because of the professional and financial ramifications.
Bottom line - if your job is making you into a different person and requiring antidepressants, it's time to move on!
I had a job a few years ago, what I perceived as my 'dream job' when I landed it, that within a month or two, I realized what a horrible mistake it was to take that job...I was absolutely miserable. I found out a lot of things after the fact that I did not know prior to taking the job. Such as it was a very high turnover department. My job was very high turnover. The boss, while brilliant at what he did, was a horrible man, horrible to work for. After sticking it out for a year, trying to find a position elsewhere in the same organization even, I actually had enough and walked off the job. I wouldn't recommend doing that...but I had reached my breaking point and it was taking a toll on my health - constant headaches, weight loss (while nice, not the way I wanted to do it), lost sleep (and if I did sleep, I was combative in my sleep). I had several conversations with DH that morning (we were engaged at that time) before I finally decided to do it. Took 2 months to find a new job...and the company that hired me was very familiar with that boss, and said no explanation necessary.
I can totally relate to your plight. I've been working in a hostile work environment for 4 months now, couldn't take it anymore and resigned last week. My last day is Friday and long to be free of this crappy company. I've been bullied, excluded, don't fit into the clique of my co-workers and my managers retaliated when I blew the whistle on their misconduct. I'd never been subjected to character assassination before and it was horrifying the pack of lies they told upper management about me. All this was taking a terrible toll on my mental and physical health. Upper management refused to support me and my concrete proof of the harrassment. I basically have had no friends or allies. I talked it over with my DH and he was 100% for me resigning.
If you can manage it financially, I would resign. As PP said, life is too short to slowly die in a horrible job. If you must stay for financial reasons, is there an HR dept you can contact to file a complaint?
Good luck to you and sending positive vibes your way!