Dear Woman-Who-Should-Know-Better,
You're staying here on business, so I know you've traveled enough to be aware of this little fact: Some hotels have 24-hour fitness centers. Some do not. If you end up at one that does not (i.e. mine) please do not assume we should give you special treatment and open early. Frankly, I don't care that you have a meeting to go to. It's open until 7pm, go later. If you must work out now, go run outside on the sidewalk. Do not get snarky with me. I don't make the rules and I don't get paid nearly enough to give a shiit about your problems with an attitude like that. You catch more flies with honey, sweetheart.
Sincerely,
the hotel employee who doesn't feel like dealing with you today.
Ok, go!
Re: Dear...
Dear Coworker,
You're not that special. Please just go and do your work, like the rest of us do. I don't care how tired you are - so am I. And please stop crunching popcorn and chips all freaking day. My door is closed because I can't stand the constant chomping and gigantic hippopotamus yawning.
thanks. Les
Dear Izaac,
Thank you for finally using the potty. Now I don't have to clean your "messes" up off your brothers bed and the floor.
Lovingly, Your Proud Mama
LMAO!! Love it!
Dear School District,
Please give me my contract, please and thank you. Oh and make sure it has my fatty raise written into already!
Dear Head of School,
I am not sure if you are aware of this, but the school year starts in 2 weeks, and I still have not been told what I will be teaching this year, or where my classroom will be. It would be awesome to have at least a day or two to get materials prepared, set up my room, and generally prepare for the year.
Thanks so much,
Rayne779
Dear work -
Enough is enough. Your mother doesn't work here, do your own dishes. Yes, I realize everyone uses the trash and recycling bins in the kitchen and they get full. But I also don't see why you are incapable of emptying them when I just watched you shove the last bit of trash in there.
If I'm going to play Suzy/Betty homemaker/house cleaner, I'd much rather do it at my own house.
Signed -
Office manager/marketing director/copier repair woman/dishwasher/garbage lady
Dear BFF,
I love you to death but I'm not going to Vegas for my birthday just because you want to go. I have a husband and a small baby at home and leaving her for a long weekend is not going to happen, even four months from now. Give it up please.
Love,
Your BFF
Dear body/chart,
What is up with you? You have NEVER given me a positive OPK but those really dark ones a few weeks ago led me to believe that I had ovulated. You even gave me a temp shift. You are even confusing FF since they say "we can't pin down your ovulation to a 24 hour period, but think it happened somewhere between CD 11 and CD 22. Why are you showing double lines again on an OPK? Please make up your mind.
Your irregular owner