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Not sure how I feel about this: I *think* my 74 year old mother

just told me she has a boyfriend Confused

She had mentioned going for dinner with "A" (unknown to me) during the weekend, which didn't make me blink as she regularly travels with groups of people and I figured this was one of them (I was right) and she was just catching up.

I was a little confused when she specified but I paid my own way, I didn't let him invite me, you know but didn't really pay attention as she's often just plain weird on the phone.

Then over dinner last night, she mentions the restaurant she went to with "A", confirms he's one of the group she traveled with last month and informs us he's invited her to join him at his holiday home in France for a week next month.

This information hasn't even reached my brain quite yet when she jumps 287 steps ahead of me and says oh but he has booked 2 rooms at the hotel on the way, don't worry, he's not the kind to jump me.

Tongue Tied

::: shudder:::

I really wasn't going there mum, thanks!

So, at the risk of being immature, I'm finding this weird. Had she not mentioned rooms, the fact that he's a divorcee, etc. I would have filed him away as a friend, but all that and the enthusiasm with which she nodded when H said it was nice to have a companion...  Huh?

So yep, I'm a little weirded out.

Re: Not sure how I feel about this: I *think* my 74 year old mother

  • imageVal?rie:

    This information hasn't even reached my brain quite yet when she jumps 287 steps ahead of me and says oh but he has booked 2 rooms at the hotel on the way, don't worry, he's not the kind to jump me.

    Sorry, as much as I'd be absolutely weirded out by this too, it made me chuckle.

    I had to have a conversationwith my mum in college, as part of a women's studies course, about her 'history' before my dad, and I'm still scarred...

    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • I don't blame you.  I know we are old enough to know our parents have lives and are sexual blah blah blah and want/need companionship, too ... but it's still weird.
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  • I have to admit that this made me chuckle.  Had it have been my mom I probably wouldn't have found it amusing.
  • My grandmother has had multiple boyfriends in the last decade. You think the "not the kind to jump me" is eyebrow-raising? I can't even post what my grandma has said to me before. Let's just say that she is sexually active and I know more than I ever wanted to about her boyfriend's turn-ons.  I'm all for the widowed generation to have their fun, but an overshare is an overshare, whether you're 18 or 78.

    I know it's weird, but please don't hold it against her. My mother was not supportive of my grandmother's dating, and it just caused unnecessary tension. (At our wedding reception, I had to seat Grandma and her boyfriend with more understanding members of the family at the "people that make my mother uncomfortable" table along with my sister's wife.)

    image
  • imageGilliC:

    My grandmother has had multiple boyfriends in the last decade. You think the "not the kind to jump me" is eyebrow-raising? I can't even post what my grandma has said to me before. Let's just say that she is sexually active and I know more than I ever wanted to about her boyfriend's turn-ons.  I'm all for the widowed generation to have their fun, but an overshare is an overshare, whether you're 18 or 78.

    H was raised by his grandparents and back before his nana died she chose to share with him all the details of his deceased grandfather's sexual preferences, including his favorite positions and his refusal to wear a condom.  He sat there and listened to her talk for an hour and a half but was beet red for weeks afterwards.


  • imagePublius:
    imageGilliC:

    My grandmother has had multiple boyfriends in the last decade. You think the "not the kind to jump me" is eyebrow-raising? I can't even post what my grandma has said to me before. Let's just say that she is sexually active and I know more than I ever wanted to about her boyfriend's turn-ons.  I'm all for the widowed generation to have their fun, but an overshare is an overshare, whether you're 18 or 78.

    H was raised by his grandparents and back before his nana died she chose to share with him all the details of his deceased grandfather's sexual preferences, including his favorite positions and his refusal to wear a condom.  He sat there and listened to her talk for an hour and a half but was beet red for weeks afterwards.

    Oh no!!! Surprise Aside from what should be a given - that you need to feel out the ground before talking sex details with anyone - I think there should be an unspoken rule that you only share sex details with people of the same generation. I'd be equally weirded out if a high schooler or college kid was oversharing with me.

    image
  • imageGilliC:
    imagePublius:
    imageGilliC:

    My grandmother has had multiple boyfriends in the last decade. You think the "not the kind to jump me" is eyebrow-raising? I can't even post what my grandma has said to me before. Let's just say that she is sexually active and I know more than I ever wanted to about her boyfriend's turn-ons.  I'm all for the widowed generation to have their fun, but an overshare is an overshare, whether you're 18 or 78.

    H was raised by his grandparents and back before his nana died she chose to share with him all the details of his deceased grandfather's sexual preferences, including his favorite positions and his refusal to wear a condom.  He sat there and listened to her talk for an hour and a half but was beet red for weeks afterwards.

    Moral of the story: don't ask a semi-senile person anything that could in anyway be construed as having to do with their sex life.  It's true what they say about old people losing their internal filters. 

    Oh no!!! Surprise Aside from what should be a given - that you need to feel out the ground before talking sex details with anyone - I think there should be an unspoken rule that you only share sex details with people of the same generation. I'd be equally weirded out if a high schooler or college kid was oversharing with me.

    H totally brought it upon himself.  His grandparents only had adopted children, and H asked her if they ever found out if their problems conceiving were with him or her.  The response began along the lines of, "We never knew, but it was a good thing.  Your grandfather was all about sex, sex, sex, and he would never wear a condom.  If we hadn't had problems we'd have had a dozen children...I made him wait for the wedding, but after that..."[you get the picture].

  • imageGilliC:

    I know it's weird, but please don't hold it against her. My mother was not supportive of my grandmother's dating, and it just caused unnecessary tension. (At our wedding reception, I had to seat Grandma and her boyfriend with more understanding members of the family at the "people that make my mother uncomfortable" table along with my sister's wife.)

    I won't! It's just very weird, especially with her choice of words when it's the first time I hear about it and the first man I hear about since my father died almost 11 years ago. Even more so as her last overshare (15+ years ago) was about the lack of "activity" with my father...

    At the moment, I'll just categorize him as a male friend who shares my mother's interests and who will accompany her on trips, museum visits and dinners out. I just don't want to hear anything about him possibly jumping on her. Ever.

    And if it's just the above, great! I will admit I would have a proper freak out (to myself, I'm not a brat) if she wanted us to meet for dinner though.

  • imagePublius:
    I have to admit that this made me chuckle.  Had it have been my mom I probably wouldn't have found it amusing.

    Hehe. Made me chuckle too. While it's a funny/disturbing way for it to be put, I feel like if I were this age and alone that I'd really hope for companionship as well.

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  • It's cute to hear about it from someone else but when your own parents are involved it becomes gross and icky.
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  • Glad you're more mature than my mom! Smile And here's hoping your mother keeps any future exploits to herself! Hehe!
    image
  • I'd be a bit weirded out too if it was my mom.

    Maybe you could give her the birds and the bees talk to make it even more awkward. 

  • Yeah, that's my DAD...he's now remarried, but is still a bit of an oversharer.  Thank goodness I love my step-mom and that she slaps him regularly for his mouth.  Oy.
    I like pineapples...they make life just so much more interesting.
  • My mom was the world's biggest oversharer, and always wanted me to dish about my love life too.  Bleh, maybe if she feels like sharing again, you can just remind her a bit about how some things are better left private.  But, hopefully, she is having a nice time with her male friend, and is happy :)
    Btw, my dad has turned into a man-whore, and while it weirded me out for a while, I got used to that too.

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