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Repat weird feelings
So I just got back from an amazing trip to the states... I went up to Maine with an American friend from London (originally from ME) then to Martha's Vineyard for my best childhood friend's wedding. It was amazing. I had the best time I've had in a long time and felt just utterly and blissfully happy and peaceful with myself.
Lately I've been a bit down and feeling like something is nice. Life is ok in all aspects, but not great in any. Before I left I made the decision to just stick things out until I renew my visa early next year then reassess.
But at some point coming back something clicked and made me feel like I should move back to the states. I don't know where it came from as this hasn't been an option at all for the past few years. And it didn't really have to do with homesickness as I wasn't home and didn't visit with my family (home country sickness maybe though?)
If I left in the nearish future (would probably be at least 6 months to a year) then I'm pretty sure I'd mess up my visa status and wouldn't be able to come back. I just don't know where this has come from and I'm wondering if it's just overtiredness and jetlag teamed up with a having a blissful week. Is this normal???
Re: Repat weird feelings
I think I'm down because I just feel so unsettled. I've been here over 7 years now but I'm not happy with where I'm living, I don't love my job and my personal relationships are lacking. I know that a move wouldn't necessarily make those things better, but it would be a change and a bit of an adventure. I feel so bored lately!
Also I know I could change those things and continue on here but I decided until I got my visa sorted, it's best to stay where I'm at with both living and work.
Pub - when I get my visa renewed next year, it's just for the final 2 years... I still won't have indefinite leave until after I complete those...
I didn't have any strong desire to move back to the States before. In fact usually when I'm visiting in the US, I can't wait to get back to the UK! I've never had those feelings before.
Before I left I was looking for something to change though. Just wasn't sure what or how. And at the end of the day, I have no real reason to be here... no husband or family or anything, I just came over because I could and loved it at the time.
Is there a way for you to make some changes to your life in the UK in order to get some of that feeling of adventure back? Have you thought of possibly moving to a different part of the UK or finding another job in order to spice things up a bit there? Would this be possible with your visa?
I'm sorry that you're feeling a little blue but am also happy that you had such a wonderful trip back. I'd just wait it out for a bit and see how your feelings change/or don't change so that you can determine what you are truly feeling.
It's possible that you've outgrown your current place/job/life and DO need a change. The change doesn't necessarily need to be to move back to the US though. Maybe it is though. Do you have an idea of what you would do or where you'd move to in the US if you went back?
I could move or find a new job on my visa but if I were to move, then I may as well move back to the US as there's no point in me being here! As far as jobs go, I want to change industry eventually so am looking to build up experience outside of my full time work as I can't afford to switch now... I'd have to take a huge pay cut. Plus my current company will help me with my visa costs, which are hefty...
I think I'm just quite lonely here. I know we've all felt like foreigners at times... but it's starting to get to me I think. Especially as I have no permanent ties here.
If I moved back I'd probably do something somewhat similar to what I do now but would move to another city where I have some connections... like Boston or Chicago.
You know I had these feelings when I went back home last month too. It was stronger than ever before! I'm not sure what it is was and I still don't know what to think about them.
Maybe you've never experienced these feelings because when you've gone back to the US, you've gone to your home state where you wouldn't necessarily choose to live so you never really thought about moving "home". I think also seeing your friends for a longer period of time (and meeting more of their friends) brings these feelings out. I know that when I go back home, I see friends for dinner or lunch and it's great but it wasn't until I was hanging out with them for longer periods of time when I realized, hey, I really do have great friends back in the US! And I could actually see myself branching out and fitting in back in America too. (Because you know you wonder about that after living here for so long.)
I know we're in difference situations and we're here for different reasons, but I know how you're feeling. It's really difficult to know what to do! The good thing is you don't have to make any big decisions today...maybe see how you feel in a week, a month. Start researching the cities you might like to try. See if anything sparks your interest and go from there.
How to Play House blog
Are you bored with Britain? How long have you been here?
I know that I am bored with Britain and it's not because I don't enjoy my life here. I have a great job, etc, but I miss being near friends and family. At this point in my life, I want to be working towards owning a house, but what that means for me is having roots.
I know that we will be moving back at some point, which means I don't invest a lot in putting down roots. I am trying, but it's hard. A lot of my good friends have moved either back to the US or to a different country, so it makes it hard for me to get fully invested sometimes.
Everyone has been in your shoes, you just need to figure out if this is post holiday blues or deeper.
GL!
Callatini you've definitely hit a nail with the friends thing... before it was like no way I'd ever move back to Tampa, and moving anywhere else would be starting over from scratch again, which I didn't want to do. But I think being in a new place with old and new friends made me realise I could.
And yes, I know I don't have to make any decisions straight away, thank god. I think I'd still get my visa in March then think about leaving after that... so a good 6 months if not longer!
Mrs DRG - I'm not sure if I'm bored with Britain... I do love it here, I love the people, but I'm just not sure it's for me in the long run and I want to start setting down roots too. I think I'm ready for that and I just struggle to see it happening here. And I've been here over 7 years now. But until now I've given it my all and respected that I may stay in the UK indefinitely, so it's not like I haven't tried to settle in.
My Blog
My head is a big ole mess right now... a few other things going on as well which I'll probably talk about in the near future.
I feel like big changes are coming in one way or another and while I'm not sure about anything, I feel strangely calm and confident that it will all work out the way its meant to. Its a very odd feeling!