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SPEECH. Eeek. Help!
Okay so normally public speaking doesn't freak me out at all, but I need to give a speech as my best friend's matron-of-honor in her wedding in two weekends.
I'm freaking out a little because I've felt very absent from the wedding planning process already, and have felt guilty because of it AND because a girl that I really really don't get along with very well is the MOH.
Yes, my BF/cousin has a matron and maid of honor because she didn't want to choose between us. Totally fine with me! Didn't make this other chick too happy.
Anyway, we've BOTH giving a speech and I'm terrified of being the person with the sucky speech. She's not really on talking terms with me so hasn't responded to the email where I asked her if she was going for funny or more serious.
WTF should I do!?!?
Re: SPEECH. Eeek. Help!
But I'm NOT funny.
I'm just sarcastic....I feel like that isn't much of an asset in this case.
I was thinking of incorporating a quote of some sort. Anybody have any ideas?
A little background:
The bride and I have been BF's since kindergarten. She's sweet, goofy, good-hearted, and fun. She met her FI the week of freshman orientation at uni and they've been together for 6 years now. He's macho, funny, caring, and understanding. They're a goofy couple who appreciate the thought put into something.
I agree with the others. Do what you do best, and if you can, make what you do best a little of both.
What I mostly recommend is to not worry about the other person's speech at all. Concentrate on your friendship and everything will be ok.
Bio
I feel like I really need to take your advice. I think I'm more terrified of the feeling of "competition" of us both giving a speech then I am of actually giving my own. Gah.
Maybe you can mention that you really want to be funny, but it never works for you. Especially with a large audience and on such an important day like your bf's wedding.
Then tell a story about your friend from your childhood. One of those stories that you think she may have forgotten and something that shows how sweet and goofy she is. But not anything that's such an inside joke that you two will be the only ones reacting to it. Then break into the, the first time I saw BF and her FI together blah, blah, blah.
Or if there's a story from your childhood that shows her personality, but also features some object and that same object can be referenced in a story about her and FI. Like, maybe the first time she drove her car she stalled and then her FI's car stalled on their first date or something.
Okay I scribbled something into a work email...this is what I have so far....
Apparently you?re supposed to incorporate humor into these kinds of things, but that doesn?t really ever work for me. I have sarcasm on my side but I feel like that doesn?t really help me out today. Instead I?ve chosen to tell a bit about J and me, circa 1991. Those were the days where we still wore overalls and the 1.5 mile bike ride between our houses was virtually a marathon. We were quirky kids, to say the least. We still had a long way before we?d begin the process of blossoming into swans and that only made it more fun.
You see, J is the kind of girl who will go on scavenger hunts with you, will walk around Babies-R-Us scanning every cute item in site for our registry (although she is well aware that you live 5000 miles away and need to carry everything back on an airplane), and will bake you 30 kinds of Christmas cookies every year because you?re her friend. OR because she just loves using a KitchenAid mixer, but does it really matter? Her cookies are delicious!
What that means is that this year I?ve known J for twenty years, and in that time she?s continued to do nothing but amaze me, teach me, and make me proud. Over the year?s one tends to learn to value true friendship more and more, especially when adulthood begins and things like mortgages start taking place of summer vacations. Especially the past couple of years with the distance between us, I?ve learned to appreciate her presence in my life even more.
J has proven to me again and again, most often without even realizing it, the true meaning of friendship. Her loyalty, kindness, gigantic heart, and?well yes?.even her quirkiness?are only a few of the things that make her such a truly amazing person.
When I?d first learned that J had a boyfriend, I was instantly curious! All throughout high school she was so picky that we?d begun to wonder if the perfect man for her existed. Her man would need to be intelligent, funny, patient, caring and have at least a tolerance for excessive love for ice cream and addiction to Harry Potter....
I'm going to say a bit about her fiance and them as a couple in this paragraph.
Congratulate them on their day, say something about giving him my best friend so take good care of her, and give a quote to close. THOUGHTS?
BREATHE...I might actually be able to do this.
Great start!
I think the best speeches are personal and let the guests feel like they are closer to the bride - so that they feel they know her better AND even more importantly, let them in on some of the details of the relationship or groom that you know, but they might not.
Honestly, I'd start with something really brief about your history. 'I've known J for 20 years...' and then go right into the above.
You can incorporate that she was picky, which will make people laugh (as long as she's not sensitive about this), and then say that as her friends, you were also picky--because she's good in x and y way and deserves the best because of all she gives to others, blah blah. That's the sentimental.
Then you close with, 'And when I look at J and what's-his-face, I know that being picky paid off for J, and for us. She gets to be with someone who will make her insanely happy, and we all get to be a part of this couple who are wonderful as individuals, but even more wonderful together.'
AWWWW.
But I think your speech will be fine from what you've said. Both my MOH and the BM (Dh's sis) gave awesome/thoughtful speeches, and it really meant a lot to us both.
Do a slide show speech. A funny and serious one. But mostly a funny one that doesn't go so far as to upset the bride.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Your formula + NC's 3min caution was exactly what I was going to suggest. The best speech I've ever heard was by a best man who was the cousin of the groom (so, like you, had know the G forever and had know the bride for approx 4yrs while the couple was dating). It was maybe 3-5mins and followed this formula:
"G's always been my best friend. I know this b/c he's always been there for me... heck, he even let me move in to his 1bdrm for a month when I had just moved back to America from the UK. Living w/ me for a month's a challenge, but G was always a great host and made the best of things. In fact, he even insisted on cooking me a special ham dinner. Only problem was, both of us being bachelors we weren't really equipped-- G said we could use a wok and I recommended substituting OJ for pineapple slices. It was a disaster-- half cooked ham in a rancid (or, according to G, 'seasoned') wok.
Fast forward a few years-- G mets B and she's great. He's crazy about her. One night, I went over for dinner. It was lovely, everything was perfect. Somehow she and my girlfriend got on the subject of cooking and bridal registries. Without prompting B offers, "G has this wok. It's really vile, it's so dirty. But he loves it so much... I could never ask him to get rid of it."
I knew then B was the perfect lid to G's pot. Please raise your glasses and join me in congratulating B&G and wishing them a wonderful "wok" through life."
I liked it b/c it recapped Best Man and G's friendship, told a funny story, was flattering toward B, and sweet w/o being over the top sappy (ie 'this is the greatest love since love began'). It also happens to be a speech given by my H, so I'm bias. He really did a great job though. We joke that I should rent him out for weddings
!
Thanks ladies for the suggestions. If I have the time then I think that the slideshow would be hilarious. I have to mull over that a bit though because we have hilarious childhood photos but I'm not sure if she'd be too happy with everybody seeing them.
I'm going to follow the formula and really concentrate on not making it too long. Probably 3 minutes. They'll already have 3 speeches to listen to....
The "wok" together through life is brilliant! What does he charge per hour? Haha.