food advice (long)

crystaljkbj · August 2011

I need some help with some food issues going on with Jordan.

First, he doesn't eat enough to keep a bird alive, and 2 years ago he would have ate anything in the house that didn't eat him first. The last 6 months that has all changed. I personally think it is he doesn't want to sit down long enough to eat. One night it can be the best food he has ever tasted, and the next night he hates it. I am not going to cater to him to cook 2 meals, and even when I do let him pick out whats for supper and help make it he doesn't eat it. I tell him his plate will be at the table when he gets hungry. Normally he will come back about 8:00 and beg and cry and throw a fit and eat most of it. I can't stand this anymore. I want him to eat with us at 6:00-6:30 as a family instead of making the dinner table miserable.

I am to the point I want to tell him if you get up from this table that is is your not coming back in 2 hours and eating you will just have to go to bed hungry. I know that sounds mean, but it is really causing problems with bedtime and things. Plus its a PITA to be honest.

I don't belive in making a kid clean their plate if they are not hungry, but at the same time I don't want him to not eat anything. He was very unhappy with me last night because he didn't eat his suppper till 8:15 and bedtime is at 8:30 so by the time he got done it was past bedtime so he didn't get dessert. I feel bad and I hate being the "mean mom."

I also must add I don't make him eat things I know he genuily doesn't like, but I make him try everything. I also believe if he ate it one night he should still like it 2 nights later.

Any advice or suggestions? Is this just an age thing?

LesPaul · August 2011

It's tough when mealtimes are not enjoyable like they're supposed to be. I agree in not making him clean his plate - food should never be used as a weapon or punishment. You've got a good approach in having Jordan help with the meal planning and preparation to get him engaged in the process.

I honestly think it's an age thing, and he's pushing to see what he can get away with. In my opinion the best thing to do is tell him that supper time is from 6 to 6:30, and if he doesn't want to eat what is served, then too bad. No dessert, and no meal at 8:15. You're not running a diner, and everyone in the family is expected to sit down together and eat supper at the same time. You won't force him to eat every bite, but he is expected to participate and eat with the family. A few nights of going hungry will show him that he doesn't live at Denny's.

You're not mean to expect a family supper time free of tantrums! {{hugs}}

crystaljkbj · August 2011

Thank you so much. That is exactly how I feel about it all and I needed someone to tell me I am not being mean.

I think eating that late is not healthy for him, and I know in the long run it will be a good thing.

eeeeva · August 2011

I think one night of him going to bed slightly hungry won't kill him. Also he'll eat breakfast like a champ. I don't think you are being mean but he does need to learn that he should eat at dinner time and with all of you as a family.

I was a very picky eater as a kid and I probably pulled these same shenanigans on my parents. I just don't remember it.

karimychel · August 2011

You're not cruel for sending him to bed hungry if he doesn't eat with the family. My parents did this to me. I learned my lesson.

You mentioned you think he just doesn't want to sit still, are there other distractions while you're serving dinner, like TV's on in other rooms, etc?

crystaljkbj · August 2011

I don't have the tv on in the living room and I am real strict about we only eat in the kitchen at the table. So when it comes time for him to eat he wants to go to his room and I won't let him he has to sit at the table with the family. I think he would rather be in his room playing than sitting at the table eating.

karimychel · August 2011

Can you make it so he isn't in his room playing before dinner?

And I agree he sits at the table with the family, whether he participates or not. Can you get him involved and use some of his energy setting the table or helping you?

NeptoonGrl1 · August 2011

I agree with the advice above. My nephew has been pulling this stunt since he was about 2 and a half (he's now 5), and my SIL still lets him get away with it. He will get up off the dinner table and run around and play in the other room or watch tv while everyone else is still eating. When he's at the table, he constantly needs to be reminded to eat, and he'll claim he doesn't like something, even though he had been asking for it 5 minutes earlier. You need to teach him the importance of family dinner, for both the eating and socializing aspect. Maybe involve him in a game during meal time too--everyone tells their best and worst part of their day or something like that. Also, I would check in with your pediatrician to see if he/she has any other suggestions.

crystaljkbj · August 2011

Thank you all for the advice and tips. I am going to try to not get to upset about it all and just stick to it. It has to get better soon.

starsailorr26 · August 2011

I completely agree with Les. You're not asking for too much and he's at the age where he's pushing boundaries to see what he can get away with. If he liked something one day, there's no reason he truly doesn't like it two days later. I know it's hard but hold your ground or it will only get worse.

JoShan1719 · August 2011

I agree with not making him clean his plate. My stepmother used this method with me and I hated it. Maybe instead you could tell him he needs to take [x amount] bites of each thing on his plate. It doesn't matter how big the bites are, just the number of bites. I think you're right about him just being too excited to go play than to eat, but it is important to eat and to eat on time. I ate such small amounts as a kid that I was hungry all the time. I still eat like that and it's better for your body to do that, but my stepmother had a hard time grasping that it was just how I was. Good luck!

amandasw · August 2011

just wanted to offer another note of encouragement

food advice (long)

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