Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sex, STDs, and long-term relationships
I'm divorced and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. We used condoms at first and then stopped when we decided that we want to be in a serious, long-term relationship with each other. We've been tested and have had no problems. This year's pap came back abnormal and I've just been re-tested and I'm waiting on those results (ETA: I had an abnormal pap a few years ago when I was married, was re-tested and that came back normal). My doctor asked if I was using condoms and I said no. She told me I needed to wear them and that they're only line of defense against STDs including HPV. Then I asked her when I could stop wearing condoms and she said when I was married. My SO and I are serious and we're headed towards marriage. I also know plenty of couples who are in long term relationships who don't wear condoms (I wonder what my doctor would say to them?) So, is my doctor a control freak or should I ask my SO to wrap it up?
Re: Sex, STDs, and long-term relationships
Find a doc that is a great deal more broadminded and progressive.
Stop using them when you get married?
That's got jack to do with it. To my knowledge, HPV -- and other STDs like genital warts -- can take a very very long time to show up.
Is she more or less figuring that your H won't have an affair because he's married and this way he's not going to pick up an STD? or that he may be in the qualifying category to fool around, because he is not yet married to you? Sheesh....is this her mindset?
Abnormal paps can be caused by any reason: rough sex or not abstaining for a couple of days before the exam. (abstaining for more than a few days before the exam wouldn't be a bad idea, either)
That's what I'm thinking her mindset must be. I'm definitely in the market for a new doctor--I really haven't been at ease with her for awhile now and it's time I got one closer to where I live now anyways. Thanks for your insight and perspective!
It sounds like your doctor has a (not very hidden) agenda. Find a new doc who pushes science and not their morals.
Yuk is what I think and I'm the world's biggest prude.
PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS
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Batman was supposed to be a symbol of hope and bring justice. Not spark violence.
If you're in a long term, monogamous relationship and you decide to not use condoms, your doctor shouldn't be making you feel like you're having unsafe sex. An abnormal pap can be caused by many different things, a bunch of them not STI related (p.s. don't you think someone should figure out a new way to test for this that's more fool-proof?).
I'd find a new doctor if I were you.