s/o dying...

sarack · August 2011

do you and your H agree on what to do with your remains?

will you be buried or cremated? do you have special instructions?

sarack · August 2011

We argue about this. I want to be cremated. H's family has their plots already purchased. He wants to purchase a plot for us to be buried together. I really don't want to be buried... like as much as UW doesn't want children.

I have no special instructions because we can't get passed this part...

amandasw · August 2011

um, I just asked H and he said "I don't care about my body rotting, I just don't want to be a pile of ashes... sitting on a mantel, getting inhaled by fish. I want to be buried." LOL I never thought about it, but I think I'm ok with getting buried, so that's probably what we'd do.

jennuinne · August 2011

sarack:

We argue about this. I want to be cremated. H's family has their plots already purchased. He wants to purchase a plot for us to be buried together. I really don't want to be buried... like as much as UW doesn't want children.

I have no special instructions because we can't get passed this part...

This. I want to be cremated and DH wants to be bured in VA w/ his family. I don't want to be buried, but I definitely don't want him buried in VA by himself! I want to be together somehow...even if my ashes are where he's buried, but I would prefer to both be cremated and spread in the same place.

avila01 · August 2011

I'm really more drawn to the "traditional" idea of being buried somewhere together, where our future children can come pay their respects or whatever...but really, I have no idea where we'd be buried. We're from different states originally, and our families are spread out. It's not like we'd be buried with our parents or whatever.

DH's dad was cremated and his ashes will eventually be spread in the mountains. While he hasn't said this for sure, I wouldn't be surprised if this is what DH wants to do, too. In the end, I'll probably defer to what he wants to do, because I'd prefer to either both be buried or both be cremated. And let's be honest...if we never have children, who's going to visit our gravesites? So if he wants to be cremated, I probably will be, too.

jennlin · August 2011

h is split between "he doesn't care" and "he wants his ashes spread around the world". he really is more in the boat of he doesn't care...but he just doesn't want to be confined......

i jokingly tell him that i'm going to cremate him and sleep with his ashes on the bed with me....then when i die, i want our ashes swirled together. i'm joking, though, and i say this just to tease him.

i would like to be at the same funeral home where my grandparents are..which is where my parents want to be. i don't care if i'm cremated or buried, as long as i'm with h (cheesy).

sarack · August 2011

jennlin:

h is split between "he doesn't care" and "he wants his ashes spread around the world". he really is more in the boat of he doesn't care...but he just doesn't want to be confined......

i jokingly tell him that i'm going to cremate him and sleep with his ashes on the bed with me....then when i die, i want our ashes swirled together. i'm joking, though, and i say this just to tease him.

i would like to be at the same funeral home where my grandparents are..which is where my parents want to be. i don't care if i'm cremated or buried, as long as i'm with h (cheesy).

super cheesy but adorable!

karimychel · August 2011

I lost two friends fairly young, one family chose to cremate and keep the remains, one chose to bury/vault some ashes and keep the rest for themselves. I really loved going and talking/paying respects to my friend when I could.

That being said, I want to be cremated, but I'm totally fine with my family burying some of my remains somewhere that people can pay their respects and keeping/spreading the rest.

My parents will be the first in their families to choose what they want, and I know my dad does not want to go to his family plot. He hasn't lived in that town in over 30 years. I think my mom is torn, only from the standpoint that her mom died less than 6 months ago and when she died my grandpa bought more plots for him and the family and she feels like she'd be letting him down. Other than a military assignment with my dad, my mom hasn't lived in her home town in almost 25 years.

DH and I just discussed if we both died tomorrow without kids, we'd have some ashes buried in AK, anyone could have what they wanted and the rest would be spread at my family cabin (DH helped with this cabin since day 1.)

mgoss228 · August 2011

Here's an IM convo I just had with DH regarding our remains after we die (fyi: we use the word pie as a nickname of sorts):

me: change of topic: Do you want to be cremated or buried?

J: ummmm

ive actually never really considered this

are you planning to axe murder me or something>?

me: we're talking about it on the nest

I know what I want

but I wasn't sure about you

J: what do you want?

me: cremated, and my ashes buried in the Norwegian ceremetary where my dad's mom's side of the family is buried

so I can be near my norwegian people

J: i see

very pie like of you

i suppose cremation is a cheaper way to go, so i'd probably go for that, to spare you the expense

plus id just rot anyhow

me: yeah, that's how I look at it

and I don't want to come back as a zombie during the coming of hey-zeus

J: haha

always it comes down to fear of zombies, eh?

me: pie-haps

jennlin · August 2011

mgoss, you have a good point. maybe i *do* want to be buried (vs cremated) so that when the zombies come up, i can join them.

karimychel · August 2011

Oh and apparently according to DH he's going to "cash in" on my death and make a zombie p0rn with my body before it's cremated.

(Please don't ask how much alcohol was involved when he decided this wound be a good idea)

jennlin · August 2011

karimychel:
Oh and apparently according to DH he's going to "cash in" on my death and make a zombie p0rn with my body before it's cremated.

Indifferent

CDMay2006 · August 2011

karimychel:
(Please don't ask how much alcohol was involved when he decided this wound be a good idea)

Over-consumption of alcohol is more socially acceptable than necrophilia, so i think full disclosure would benefit him.

CDMay2006 · August 2011

Either cremation or natural burial (leaning towards cremation), for both of us. Don't know what we'd do with the ashes.

KST_ · August 2011

mgoss228:
me: pie-haps

CUTE

H and I haven't discussed this at all and probably should. I know what I want but don't know what he wants. However, I can EASILY guess in terms of coffin vs cremation, he'd go for cremation.

The expense of the coffin route is ridiculous. It's a huge and SERIOUS racket. Even if you want, you can't be buried in a simple pine box, the cheapest coffins are at $2000 because they have to have silly satin and plots have to be lead-lined and other silly things. So when the body decays, it sits in its perfect little box and doesn't rejoin the earth. My aunt's sister's husband had bought funeral insurance and then when it came time, the funeral company said, "oh! But W,X,Y,Z aren't covered in that!" So it came to an additional several thousand after. BS.

Me, I want cremation. Ashes to Ashes. Plus, it's less costly and takes up less space. I want my ashes divided...I want some in France where a piece of my heart and soul will always live, some in our family plot (Dad's side) in Winlock, Washington, some in Oregon, and the rest with my hubby. I think for survivors, it's important to have a place to visit the remains of a loved one. My uncle who just passed away is in an urn (apparently at my aunt's house). My other uncle had his urn placed in a "columbarium" which is a wall with little niches to hold the urns behind the plaque and I like that idea.

jennlin · August 2011

KST_:
The expense of the coffin route is ridiculous. It's a huge and SERIOUS racket. Even if you want, you can't be buried in a simple pine box, the cheapest coffins are at $2000 because they have to have silly satin and plots have to be lead-lined and other silly things.

this isn't 100% true...i don't know the details of coffins for cremations vs burials...but my grandpa was cremated in what was referred to as a "glorified cardboard box"-coffin. he didn't have insurance, and my dad is his only spawn...so we decided to go simple for him.

sarack · August 2011

karimychel:

Oh and apparently according to DH he's going to "cash in" on my death and make a zombie p0rn with my body before it's cremated.

(Please don't ask how much alcohol was involved when he decided this wound be a good idea)

oh sh!t! this is not true. i can't believe it.

picksthemusic · August 2011

We're both pretty set on cremation. We know our bodies are just vessels and there's pretty much no use for them (other than organ donation) after we're gone. We haven't talked funerals or anything yet (except the occasional "Hey, you need to play that song at my funeral" comment), but we know that we need to get our living wills done soon, since we'll have a child to think about.

amandasw · August 2011

jennlin:
KST_:
The expense of the coffin route is ridiculous. It's a huge and SERIOUS racket. Even if you want, you can't be buried in a simple pine box, the cheapest coffins are at $2000 because they have to have silly satin and plots have to be lead-lined and other silly things.

this isn't 100% true...i don't know the details of coffins for cremations vs burials...but my grandpa was cremated in what was referred to as a "glorified cardboard box"-coffin. he didn't have insurance, and my dad is his only spawn...so we decided to go simple for him.

yeah, for some reason I remember a news story during the beginning of the recession about people trying to do more 'natural' burials as a way to save money and just because it makes more sense. I would totally look into something like that for us.

uwhuskygirl · August 2011

karimychel:
Oh and apparently according to DH he's going to "cash in" on my death and make a zombie p0rn with my body before it's cremated.
(Please don't ask how much alcohol was involved when he decided this wound be a good idea)

Yes That just made me lol so hard.

H says cremation all the way... but if I die first I have to wear his ashes in a little vile around my neck. I think he's joking about that part. Indifferent

After the UW Med School is done with my body I'm fine with cremation too.

uwhuskygirl · August 2011

sarack:
We argue about this. I want to be cremated. H's family has their plots already purchased. He wants to purchase a plot for us to be buried together. I really don't want to be buried... like as much as UW doesn't want children.

I have no special instructions because we can't get passed this part...

That made me lol because those are some strong feelings that you have against burial then. Big Smile

Just out of curiosity, why are you so against being buried?

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