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*VENT* DH downrange
DH has been deployed for a few months now. Even before he left he was acting really distant and somewhat inconsiderate. I thought at the time it was just his mental way to prep for being gone so I (mostly) let it go unless he was really behaving like a jack@$$. He is so up and down lately and tonight I asked what was changing that one day he was happy and talkative and the next day I'm getting one word answers. He said that he is "thinking about a lot and feels bad about some of it" and that his good days are when he doesnt think about it. Problem is that he won't talk to me, or anyone else about it. It's feeling really disrespectful to me and our marriage that he won't talk to me at all.
I get that he is in a high stress situation without days off, but does that equal a free pass to be mean until he gets home? Has anyone else gone through something similar during deployment?
ETA: It was his choice to deploy, he already had a rear-d position but made such a stink that when a spot opened up, his CSM filled the opening with him.
Re: *VENT* DH downrange
That's irrelevant.
I was a grump to Joe during parts of my deployment. I was tired, scared, and in an attempt to help, he said some boneheaded stuff. In hindsight, I realize he was doing his best to help, but at the time, I was so stressed out it was impossible for him to say anything right. I went to anger management classes at CSS and it helped tremendously.
It may be the deployment, or something else, no way to tell right now. Just wait till he's ready to discuss.
Like the PP said, deployment is stressful. What makes it worse is instead of everyone being there for you when you're deployed, you end up having to be there for them. You can't' tell them the bad stuff that happens because it will freak them out. You have to keep in touch, but it's draining to find the time after exhausting days of work and no time off. So when you're talking to him, he's probably exhausted, stressed, and possibly frightened but can't really discuss it. There's only so much a human being can give - he might just be too tapped out to give you what you want to hear right now. Wait till he comes home and see how it's going then. Good luck.