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Unpopular Opinion Thursday Dog Vs Baby
I keep seeing this on fb.
FREE TO A GOOD HOME: 1 young child... Genuine reason, I've got a new puppy so no longer have the time for the child. worried that the child may bite puppy. Child currently kept in a crate. Needs home by tomorrow or will be put to sleep.. YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS TO A CHILD SO WHY DO YOU SEE IT AS ACCEPTABLE TO DO IT TO A DOG OR CAT? If you can't dedicate at least 10yrs to a dog/cat, don't get one. copy + paste if agree!
I know I may have an unpopular opinion on this one but I think it is such BS. Yes sometimes people overreact and just give away their pets for bad reasons but sometimes there is a valid reason for needing to rehome an animal.
And can I just ask how the F can you compare a dog and a child?
Our dog (Gus) that we are looking for a home for is lucky he didn't get a bullet in his head the night he snapped at me. (It was the 3rd time since Brynn was born and probably the 10th time since we got him) Jeff literally almost grabbed the shotgun on the way out the door. He knows that would have been wrong though.
But I have to ask how is keeping a dog who snaps at me and J and possibly B at some point a good idea? A dog staying in my house vs being rehomed is worth my daughters safety? I really don't think so. If that dog had snapped at her instead of me I can guarantee that he wouldn't be alive anymore. My daughter and her health and safety are worth way more than that dogs life.
We have another dog, Smokey,who we aren't getting rid of because he doesn't have issues like the other dog does. And before people start saying Gus just needs to be trained and have us pay more attention to him we tried. We tried training him before B was born and he didn't do too great then. We tried training after she was born that didn't work. There isn't a "doggy day care" anywhere around here to take him to so he gets out some energy. We gave it 9 months of trying to make it work and after that night of peeing in our bed and snapping at me that was the last straw. Everyone has a different tollerance level and ours had been reached. Brynn is way too important to allow that kind of behavior from a dog.
Thanks for letting me get that out. What are your opinions?
Re: Unpopular Opinion Thursday Dog Vs Baby
Paige, I think your situation is different than people that rehome their dog within the first two weeks of getting a new baby home or while pregnant because they "think" there will be an issue. New babies are stressful, dogs can get neglected a little it happens. But it doesn't mean it will always be like that, babies get in a routine, dogs still love you, and you move on. In your case Gus doesn't tolerate the change. You have given it lots of time and patience and work. It isn't like you are trying to rehome him to a house with small children. You are very upfront about his issue.
Some dogs and cats don't adjust, and I think in their cases it is also better for them to find a home where they can live with out the additional stress.
ditto Kara. It is not inappropiate when you've done all you can. Baby comes first.
I know I've already freaked out about Bailey, and he has not shown any aggression at all, just curiosity. But if he did, we'd be looking for a new home for him stat. I love my dog, but I love our babies more. I'd do the same if they had allergies.
I think it is completely acceptable, my parents had to do it with my mom's dog when I was born. He was came with my mom when my parents got married and he snapped at me one too many times and my parents gave him away, he went back to my grandparents, but like you my dad almost went ape. It's not like you haven't tried and sometimes it just doesn't work out with pets.
Friends' of ours had to do this with a cat, it was just mean and they tried everything, even kitty anti-depressents and they just had to give it up to a no kill shelter.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but just don't let it bother you, not everyone is going to agree with you.
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I would also add that sometimes people forget that they might upset people with the BS they post on FB. I think there should be a reminder before you post anything on FB that if you don't have anything nice to say don't post it all.
I know that if there are any issues with our cats if/when we have a child, the cats will be rehomes asap. I love my cats but your child comes first period.
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I think there are completely valid reasons to give up a pet if it is violent towards a child.
What I don't agree with is all the people who want to rehome their dogs because they have kids and say they don't have time to pay attention to their dog. I've got 2 different FB friends who both recently posted their described as "very sweet, family friendly, loving golden retreiver" to rehome. Both of these dogs were 4-5 years old. It disgusts me that these people got a dog when they first got married/moved in together/whatever, and didn't think about the possibility of what would happen if/when they had kids.
I'm sorry, your dog is part of your family. Don't just give him/her away because you won't adapt. Again, there are differences between a violent pet, allergies, and just not keeping that dog/cat as part of your family.
Also, my idiot SIL who got a puppy last spring, didn't research at ALL what kind of dog would be good for their family, just wanted a "cute terrier puppy" and got a JACK RUSSELL TERROR. That poor dog I am convinced is imprisoned in her kennel all the time.
My other SIL and my MIL have both mentioned that you wouldn't even know that SIL has a dog because they keep her in the basement, in her kennel, all the time except when they take her out to potty.
DH and I have been seriously considering taking her, but I'm not sure that we're capable of having another dog to take care of when we have kids. Plus she's going to have to go to lots of training because she's basically been caged her whole life and is a royal terror when she's out....yes, dear SIL, your dog that you don't pay attention to or let out to run around, will destroy your house because you are a terrible owner.
I agree with this completely. You just don't give up a pet b/c you have a baby. I understand if the pet snaps, attacks, etc at the baby or family member, that is different. However, I think the pet is trying to react as he/she is not the center of attention. If it continues, then something needs to change.
My question is this-was anything done to prepare the pet(s) for the baby? I know my sister read some books about preparing the cats for a baby when she was PG with my niece. Just my 2 cents.
Sorry if this is flameful and I am sure I will get the speech of "do not understand b/c I am not a mom yet". Again, my 2 cents.
What I'm about to say will be extremely flameful for some people here, but I will preface it by saying this.
I love animals -- I've always had pets in my life and have never gotten rid of an animal because of any reason (aside from possibly giving Cooper back to his original owner, but that's another story). I'm also a mom and can see both sides of the story.
Any dog I own, who I chose/choose to adopt/buy, will live 10-14 years (give or take). My child and any other children I may have, who I chose/choose to bring into this world will, God willing, outlive me. My priorities are clear.
So yes, because dogs have a shorter lifespan than my human child(ren), the little humans are my priority. Dogs can and will be replaced when their time comes. Children cannot. I'm thankful I'm not faced with the decision that Paige and her family has been faced with.
Paige, I don't think that what you did was inappropriate in the least bit. I agree that pets should not be rehomed just because the owner decided they didn't want them, but when the safety of another living creature (human or otherwise) is in jeopardy and you have tried to change the violent behavior, then I don't think you really have much of a choice. Not every animal is able to have it's behavior modified, just as not every human is (we have prisons full of them). There is always the factor of free will.
I'll put it this way. Say my spouse was violent, predisposed to hurting other living things, and not amenable to changing that behavior?. Would I keep him in my life and around my child? NO!
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I completely agree with the bolded. He is well was considered part of our family. I love Gus. I'm sad about the situation but I'm not willing to put Brynn at risk.
Amy I also agree that things need to be done to prepare the dogs (or cats) I have 2 books I read, carried around dolls like they were babies, played baby cries in the background, and did the things the books recommended. Smokey adjusted beautifully and Gus didn't.
And just because you aren't a mom YET doesn't give you a reason not to have an opinion on this situation.
Jo and Amanda you both put into words better than I can what I was trying to say.
I agree that not all people or dogs can be rehabbed.
Well put Jo. I think this is such a sticky situation. I really try to not judge until I have lived the situation, because I think you just don't know until you're there. I would and will do everything in my power to be sure our whole family is happy and healthy, and I consider our dog part of our family.
I guess another way to look at it would be what if you had two dogs that could not get along, no matter what? I saw a Dog Whisperer that was like this - a couple was engaged but could not move in together (and they were postponing the wedding) because their dogs could not get along. I think Cesar might have been able to make it work, but what do you do in that kind of situation? Live apart until one of the dogs dies? Rehome one? Move in together but keep the dogs totally separated? At some point you might have to choose between the two dogs...and I can see how that would feel like picking one child over another (which is how I might feel if I had to choose my dog vs my child as my dog is truly my first "baby").
It is such a hard situation, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with it Paige. I don't know what else you can do.
That is a very good point.
Thanks. I am sorry you having to go through this. I know it breaks your heart to have to deal with this but in your situation, I agree, B is #1 and your dog may have to be re-housed. You did all you could and he just did not adjust.
I hope he finds a good home soon!
Paige- I hope you don't think I'm coming down on you, I'm b*tching about my dumb FB friends and that statement was not in anyway geared towards you.
I, of course, think you put your child first, and am very sorry about your situation.
I didnt think that at all. No worries!
Okay I'm sorry that I made some assumptions based on your post, and also previous emails/post from you regarding the situation, its hard to tell tone over the internet/emails. I envisioned Gus out on a chain baking in the sun etc. Sounds like he has a decent place to reside. I see too many dogs that are left outside and neglected. Honestly living outside is a whole different issue, but thats another day. I am a crazy dog lady, who sees/hears too many stories of pets being just forgotten after kids come into the picture.
I get that, it is your choice, I personally don't understand it, but it is your choice. But what about if/when you have kids, what if one of your dogs were to attack you or your child? How would you feel then? We just agree to disagree on this, our dogs are everything to us they are as much a part of our family as any child would be. I pray that it would never come to that I don't know if we will have a kid, I know we would exhaust every resource etc.
. I have never said that I want some family to come in and adopt him which is what I think you feel I mean. Ideally he would be great for a farm dog. A place where he can have free run and do as he pleases with no kids around because that is his personality. He is high strung and needs the constant freedom. Do you think this has any chance of happening? Just like kids not every method of training works for every dog. You mentioned at one point in the email chain that you guys aren't willing to invest any money into training, behaviorist, etc. I have had to try a ton of different things w/ Charlie. After two years I can finally walk him on a leash w/o him pulling my arm out of the socket. Not that its the same thing.
. When have I ever said that is all we are doing for him? If you are willing to admit some dogs will not be a good family pet and I have a family what do you propose I do with him? 'cause he sure as hell isn't coming back in this house. I have emailed 5 rescues (couldn't find a #) and called the breeder we bought him from originally not a single person has gotten back to me and I have attempted to contact them on 3-4 occassions each. -Honestly I would suggest you hire a behavorist/trainer, look into programs where they take the dog for a month and work with them, and then bring them back and work with all of you. Talk to your vet, maybe there is a medical/chemical issue, food etc. I'm sure you won't get a call back from rescues or the breeder b/c what do you think they will be able to do? Rescuses are full and over run/over worked and under funded. They wouldn't be able to place Gus most likey and also they often have people lie (not that you would) regarding their dogs behavior and then get in a situation with a dog they can't place etc. I am not against rehoming when it is truly the only solution and the animals go to a home vs a shelter. But is the realistically going to happen? Who knows you could get lucky, but if no attempts are made with him and his behavior his chances are smaller and smaller. How old is Gus? If you don't find him a suitable home then what? He lives outside forever? Have you asked on the pets board? They may have some better solutions.
The pets board will probably tear you a new one if you explain your situation on there. Just sayin'....
I agree with this completely. While you may get one or two people to respond with an actual answer I think the majority of the responses would be straight up mean.
Paige in your situation I think it is perfectly acceptable to rehome. If the dog isn't safe and you've tried and given him time there is no reason to not attempt rehoming. Now the people that immediately want to get rid of a dog or cat because they are pregnant irk me terribly.
When Maddy 1st came home Leelou wasn't sure what this little screaming bundle of thing was and she'd bark each time Maddy cried but now she lets Maddy pull on her, practically walk all over her, etc without so much as flinching unless Maddy hits her hips too hard. We still try to get Maddy to be gentle with the dog because we want to teach her the right thing to do but its reassuring to us to know Leelou has accepted Maddy as part of the "pack" so to speak.
I am of the mindset that if a pet doesn't fit a home and you've tried what you can to make it work then trying to rehome and not just put the animal down is a good thing. There are people out there that would just destroy the animal and not even attempt rehoming.
I hope that something works out and Gus can find a home that works for his needs.
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