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Love Letters

This morning I was working on organizing our storage space and DH had tons of papers and stuff he hadn't been through since before I met him.  In these stacks of papers that I was moving I stumbled across some love poems to old girlfriends (or perhaps girls who shot him down from the sounds of it).  They weren't dated, but it was just so strange to find them and being the nosy girl I am I read them.  Obviously I know we both have pasts and it makes sense that those poems would still be lying around, but I just felt strange having them in my hands.

So I was wondering if you ladies had ever come across old love letters, poems, photos you didn't expect to find, etc.   Was it strange?  Did you feel weird or unsurprised?  Just a curious cat here.  I guess I felt a mini-surge of jealousy of these girls of the past, but it was gone in a moment.  

Also, do you keep things like that as memories of past relationships?  Not to look at, but just stuffed in a box somewhere.  I do have a memory box and I have some things from past guys in my life because they were important moments to me.   

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Re: Love Letters

  • I randomly found pictures of H's ex-fiance once.  It wasn't in his stuff though.  They were shoved in between the baby photos MIL had.  She's not a really sentimental woman.  All of the pictures she has of H are in a shoebox, and their engagement pictures had just been shoved in there and forgotten about. ETA: I don't think I have anything anymore aside from my high school boyfriend's state wrestling championship sweatshirt. I had completely forgotten about it until I cleaned out my closet in my parents house last year and found it wadded up in the back.
  • I still have all the love letters from my first boyfrend, and one or 2 others. Those letters from my first boyfriend are really special to me. He is the type of guy that never really opened up to anyone and him letting me see that side of himwas really special. I am still friends with today. DH knows it and he knows that I have the letters. If it does bother him then he never lets on. I found paintings that DH's ex did for him and I think a letter or 2, at the time it bothered me a bit, but we were still newish and I was a bit insecure, now it wouldn't bother me in the least. I think I would find it slightly funny.

    (DH and I don't have ex's that we don't like. We have double dated with my immediate ex and his wife, and I have been shopping for shoes with his ex.)

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  • I have found letters/postcards from vacations and things like that from  exes,  but nothing that interesting. It doesn't bother me. Before we started dating, H had traded his scarf for this other girls scarf when they were partying one night. We started dating shortly after and I decided he shouldn't have another girls scarf, so I took it and still wear it when its colder out.
  • No, I haven't found anything like this. Both DH and I have things from previous relationships, and both of us have them in boxes of 'history' in our lives--things that are a part of us but we don't need to display. I would never go through his box just as he would not go through mine, not because what we would find would hurt or surprise us, but because these things and memories do not belong to us. 
  • Basically what I'm saying is that if I opened a box with DH's things in it, I wouldn't go through it, even if it was seemingly innocuous--like legos.
  • imageooolalalolo:
    Basically what I'm saying is that if I opened a box with DH's things in it, I wouldn't go through it, even if it was seemingly innocuous--like legos.

    So you think I shouldn't have gone through it?  I was organizing what was mostly a bunch of school papers he wasn't going to take the time to go through...it's not like I was snooping through his stuff.

    I agree with you about not going through someone else's memories, but if they are mixed up with normal stuff it's sometimes stumbled upon.   

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  • imageLadyMadrid08:

    imageooolalalolo:
    Basically what I'm saying is that if I opened a box with DH's things in it, I wouldn't go through it, even if it was seemingly innocuous--like legos.

    So you think I shouldn't have gone through it?  I was organizing what was mostly a bunch of school papers he wasn't going to take the time to go through...it's not like I was snooping through his stuff.

    I agree with you about not going through someone else's memories, but if they are mixed up with normal stuff it's sometimes stumbled upon.   

    I was responding to your question about whether this had happened to us, not passing a judgement on whether you should/should not have done anything.

    I don't sort through my DH's stuff, whether normal or memories, but that's because this is how we prefer to handle things. There are some exceptions--for example, I do sort laundry and so does he, but in general, if it is not 'mine' or 'ours,' I don't go through it. He is the same.

    If you and your H have a different arrangement, that's fine, although of course it does mean as you say that sometimes you might stumble upon things that cause a reaction (good or bad).

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