Baltimore Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

I have a religion question - praying to prevent bad things from happening

So, my cw is super religious - she's Catholic and goes to Mass almost every day (sometimes several times a day) and she goes to prayer groups several nights a week (until like midnight or later!)

She tells me today (tearfully) that her husband found some kind of lump/growth on his vocal chord - the doctor checked it and says it will go away on its on, but he has to come back in another month to check it.  Her husband is in his 60s or 70s, but generally in good health.  She then starts crying and tells me how she's surrendered her life to God since her mother passed away last year and this is whys she's always praying, going to church, etc. and how can this be happening when she's been begging God not to let anything bad happen to anyone else she loves, etc. 

This sounds so ignorant, but is that normal?  Do people thing God is really going to intervene to prevent death or illness?  I would think you would pray for peace, for acceptance of God's will, etc. 

Is this a Catholic thing or is she just a kook?

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Re: I have a religion question - praying to prevent bad things from happening

  • I was once appalled that someone I knew prayed to God to help her get a good grade on a final exam--after the exam was already taken.  She also prayed during exams that God would send the answer to her.

    What I learned from that is that you can't dictate what anyone prays for.  You don't know God's will or how flexible he might be any better than they do.  And even if God doesn't hear you, doesn't care, or doesn't exist, you still get the boost of feeling better that you prayed on it.

    Personally, in the admittedly rare times do I pray about something, it's not about God fixing anything or making anything happen--it's about me or other people finding strength, comfort or what have you.  Or I just ask Him to take care of someone in general terms.

  • I think it's probably more for peace of mind. I pray for the well-being of my family all the time. I know God isn't going to change his will just because I'm not ready to lose my dad. At the same time, somehow it makes me feel better...like I'm doing everything I can if that makes sense.
  • imageKathrynMD:

    This sounds so ignorant, but is that normal?  Do people thing God is really going to intervene to prevent death or illness?  I would think you would pray for peace, for acceptance of God's will, etc. 

    Is this a Catholic thing or is she just a kook?

    Also, Kathryn, I know you didn't mean it this way but this sounds so incredibly offensive.  The line "do people really think..." could be applied to any part of any religion or belief system and would always be offensive and condescending.

  • imagelsgarver:
    imageKathrynMD:

    This sounds so ignorant, but is that normal?  Do people thing God is really going to intervene to prevent death or illness?  I would think you would pray for peace, for acceptance of God's will, etc. 

    Is this a Catholic thing or is she just a kook?

    Also, Kathryn, I know you didn't mean it this way but this sounds so incredibly offensive.  The line "do people really think..." could be applied to any part of any religion or belief system and would always be offensive and condescending.

    yeah - you're right.  I guess I just never really thought about why/how other people pray and I was wondering whether this was some kind of Catholic/Protestant thing that I've never realized was a difference or if its just that I'm ignorant.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • I agree that it could be taken as offensive. 

    I think God does answer prayers, but you don't know when He will answer them, or what may be in His will.  God uses bad situations at times for His will.  I truly believe He sometimes removes hinderances from our life if you've given your life to Him and someone is trying to hold you back (generally speaking, not directed at this particular situation).  God is mighty and powerful.

    BTW I'm not Catholic, so I can't speak on their beliefs. 

  • I'm Catholic, and I've never had someone tell me that I have to pray any certain way or for a certain thing or not pray for something, if that makes sense.  At daily mass there is a dedication to pray for all the sick and deceased.  It sounds to me that your CW has let the tragedy of her mother dying, and fear of further loss,into contorting her beliefs so that she believes that if she prays hard enough nothing will happen to her loved ones.  I agree with PP's, you can't control what people pray for, or how they believe prayer can influence lives, but what you described is not a Catholic belief.  As Catholics (and I assume many other religions) we pray for certain things, but we hand our lives over to Him and His will.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I kinda understand where Kathryn is coming from...  There is a former classmate of mine that I am "friends" with on facebook and she prays about every.damn.thing and sometimes it borders on crazy...  Maybe not so much that she does it but that she also feels it necessary to tell everyone in the world.

    For instance this person prayed for good weather so her son wouldn't be disappointed if his class fieldtrip to the Zoo got cancelled.  Now I totally understand praying for the rain in Somolia, which has failed for the last 4 years...  but it seems strange to me to "bother" G-d with a prayer that is so trivial.

    (And in this case I know they person isn't using "praying" figuratively, she is devout.  But she also isn't catholic.  I think she is new life/AoG)

    But maybe my opionion is skewed, as a kid wishing on a star I always wished for something like hapiness or world peace. I thought I shouldn't wish for personal things because that would be too selfish and if my wish was going to come true I wanted it to be a "good" wish.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • imageCooper81:
    I'm Catholic, and I've never had someone tell me that I have to pray any certain way or for a certain thing or not pray for something, if that makes sense.  At daily mass there is a dedication to pray for all the sick and deceased.  It sounds to me that your CW has let the tragedy of her mother dying, and fear of further loss,into contorting her beliefs so that she believes that if she prays hard enough nothing will happen to her loved ones.  I agree with PP's, you can't control what people pray for, or how they believe prayer can influence lives, but what you described is not a Catholic belief.  As Catholics (and I assume many other religions) we pray for certain things, but we hand our lives over to Him and His will.

    Thank you - that's what I was getting at.  I wasn't sure whether her belief that she could pray enough to prevent more loss was something that was a tenet of Catholicism or if this was just her attempt to control things. 

    I really am sorry if I offended anyone, but I appreciate you all giving thoughtful answers despite my awkwardness.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • It sounds almost like 'excessive prayer', or as Cooper said it's a way for your co-worker to have some 'control' over her life (or losses in life). It sounds like her mother's death was really devastating and she hasn't recovered from it.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I'm not a practicing Catholic, but did go to Catholic school through 12th grade and my mom's side of the family is all Catholic. I think it is more normal to pray for strength to get through xyz, but I would say that most Catholics realize that bad things happen. and can happen to anyone. This person sounds a little out of touch with reality. People get old and die, people have health problems ~ it's just a part of life.

    And when people die, my family of course mourns, but they focus on celebrating the life of X and the joy they brought to the rest of us, rather than blaming God for taking them away or trying to bargain with God to not take anyone else away.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards