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Friday vent
A mini vent, if you will. Brings me back to our Knottie days....
A little background...My older brother is getting married in Mexico in November. He and my FSIL are wonderful, I love them both to death. They're older, and didn't want to have to invite a lot of people so they opted for a destination wedding in Cancun. They got engaged last November, STD's went out I believe in January. The resort is all inclusive, it's beautiful but expensive.
My FSIL and I are pretty tight, she has no siblings and we talk pretty much every day. She emails me the other day all annoyed because several people have said that now they can't come. One is a good friend of hers and her husband - her husband works for Verizon and since they're on strike, money is tight and they can't afford to go. Her answer to people backing out is that they can't budget their money. Now yes, you have to budget this type of thing, but we all had less than a year to budget about $3k for this. Three thousand dollars doesn't come out of nowhere! And with a house, 2 cars, all the bills and such, it isn't easy (and I'm working 3, yes 3 jobs). I finally told her (nicely) the other day that with the economy, it's very hard. I know she's upset that it's so close to the wedding and people are backing out but it felt a little bridezilla-ish to me.
That's my vent.
Re: Friday vent
That is a little bridezilla-ish and I really hope she's not telling the people that back out that they should have budgeted better.
I think if you have a destination wedding (or even a wedding away from most of your family) you have to count on back outs. Traveling can be difficult for some people and things come up, especially when higher costs (like a flight) are involved.
I don't know anyone that would book a flight a year out so to them they've probably RSVPd yes, but have until they book the flight to really decide.
I'm sure she's sad that people can't make it, but it's the nature of the beast.
I agree with you, it's a little bridezilla-esque. I was upset when a good friend of mine backed out of coming to our wedding, and one of her reasons was money - but I was not upset about that, it was because all of her reasoning seemed really shady to me and I was upset b/c it seemed like she didn't want to attend. Anyways, long story short, we're fine now but I would have totally understood had she just said "We can't afford it."
Some people just plain can't afford it and it has nothing to do w/ not being able to budget...sometimes things come up. I was 100% committed to being in a wedding in July 2009 and we had some major unexpected financial issues come up in January 2009. I had to tell the bride I couldn't be in the wedding. She was hurt and upset I think, but what can you do? Once July came around it seemed like "Ok, we probably could have made this work" but six months prior to that it was impossible for us to be able to see that it could/would work...if she had told me I should have budgeted better (or if I heard that she was telling someone else that) I would have been super pissed, and she would have been wrong.
Totally agree w/ you.
While I think DWs are fine, I think if you're going that route you gotta go in eyes wide open. On one hand, it's great that people can mingle be together longer in a relaxed, cool place. Great. However, your (the bride and groom) idea of a great vacation isn't necessarily my (as a guest) idea of a great vacation and/or it's not on my timeline.
There are very, very few people that I pay $3k and take a week off work to attend their DW. Not b/c I don't love my other F&F and support them, but it's just too much. I can only assume that my F&F would feel the same way about me/us.
Heck, we've been lucky to have visitors over here. That said, not everybody's made it or will make it over. That's fine. We knew that going into this, I certainly don't blame others. Granted we didn't get married here, but we've had significant life events, and people miss 'em. Sucks, but it is what it is. No reason to get whiny about it.
Yikes!
Other than it being expensive, people don't all really want to travel in Mexico right now. I know that the violence isn't everywhere but it's still pretty scary to go down there. I know a few people that go there every year but have skipped this year due to problems they had last time.
You said that they did a destination wedding so they could keep the guest list on the low side.. or just that they didn;t want a big wedding so they chose a DW. Well, bride to be, you got your wish. A small guest list.
On that note, whenever I see "STD" I still think sexually transmitted disease.. I never got used to the whole save the date acronym for it! lol
I will say I can understand her being upset and what not but she also has to understand what you said...they gave only a year for folks to pool 3k and even though people may really like them some folks would rather do their own vacation for less (by the way we went to mexico at a 4 star all inclusive in playa the week before xmas so around the same time for 1600 total)
Even though it was semi local for me to have my wedding in NOLA it was more like a destination wedding for many guests and I seriously called 35 hotels and got the best rate I could and got deals all over town so that folks could afford it. We gave them 1.5 years basically. And we still had folks back out up to 2 months before the wedding because things happened. One lady had to pay for her dog who had cancer and eventually had to put him down out of pocket, anothers daughter broke up with her boyfriend and she had to fly to cali from MI to help move her back, another had their house broke into and many things stolen.
Things come up and I can tell you we missed H's best friends DW because they chose Sandals (no offense they are great but there are many all inclusives for less) and it was close to 5k. We could've swung it and went back and forth and honestly I didn't want to spend that much and it was in St Lucia so we lost basically 2 days in flight time. I got pregnant in Feb and the wedding was in May. So glad we didn't go because that money came in handy in case something would've happened.
Rant over haha