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I am in turmoil (somewhat vacation related)
Dh's bff is getting married overseas in a few months. This person was Dh's best man. He is absolutely fabulous - I love him so much - we both love him. Originally when it was decided he was getting married overseas, it was a no brainer - we were going to go. But life happens and Dh got a new job and has very little personal time that he can use especially since he needs a day during Thanksgiving and nearly 10 days in March for our anniversary trip. We agreed it just isn't possible to go.
Then the invitation came in the mail and I bawled my little eyes out. I can't imagine not being there - at the same time, they are already technically married, they got married earlier this year so its not like we would really see them get married. I started pricing the trip - it would be nearly $3,500 and we would be there for four days - we would leave here Thursday, get there early Friday morning, and come home Sunday - so technically we would be there TWO DAYS. For $3,500.
You can't put a price on "family" - but at the same time, the $3,500 would go a long ways to the crap that we need to do to our house - we need new guttering and it needs to be painted, I am desperate to get the exterior in tip top shape this fall. But I feel so guilty and it does seem that Dh doesn't care either way.
Thoughts?
Re: I am in turmoil (somewhat vacation related)
I think that is the thing...we CAN "afford it" - the money isn't the issue....and they know that. I just can't justify spending THAT much money for TWO DAYS! I tried to talk Snowful and some others into meeting me in Paris so I could justify the plane ticket and get an actual vacation out of it but given that it is such short notice I had NO takers. Losers.
I can't believe I am picking our stupid house over getting another stamp in my passport. Two years ago, this never would have happened.
No, we did not go to the first wedding. It was overseas as well - and a bit of a "surprise" because they were having VISA issues and needed to get married ASAP to solve their issues.
Would you regret it if you weren't there? It sounds like he is a great friend to you and your H. If you would regret it, can afford it, and want to go, then go. If not, get started on that darn kitchen already!
I just wanted to chime in as a recent bride who got married in another country. DO NOT stress this much over it. When my DH and I decided on a destination wedding, we knew several people who we love very much would not be able to come, and yes it was sad, but of course we understood. My two very closest friends weren't able to make it, and of course I hated not having them there, but I knew why they couldn't be there, and it was just a non-issue for us. I would say call the friend and talk to him directly. One of my friends avoided the issue for a long time and when I finally asked point blank, she said she was just so afraid to tell me she and her DH couldn't be there that she didn't even want to bring it up. Anyone who plans a DW knows that this is a possibility, so please don't stress too much about it!
I'm not sure what exactly they are doing, but you might ask if they have the option to stream their wedding online. We had the ability to do that (though ultimately decided against it) so that people could watch the wedding live. Just a thought!
I know we need to talk to him about it but it has always been understood that we were going, like I don't think it ever dawned on them that we wouldn't go or couldn't go but a lot has changed in the past few months. I think it will be a HUGE surprise to them that we aren't attending. They do have friends from the States not attending but they weren't surprised by this.
I called DH and told him that I am having second thoughts (again) about attending and he agreed that it is just such a waste. Ignoring the money, we will be exhausted for a week afterwards. Its so sad, I feel sad about it, my heart is totally broken. If we could stay for a week - it would be different.....
Alright, we talked to him Friday night. He asked if we were going and I said "Yes, we are leaving OKC on Thursday and leaving your wedding to come home on Sunday ." He said "Why? You will travel two days and only spend two days there - you will be exhausted." I said "Well, we both have new jobs and we don't have a lot of personal time so..." He said "Um, then don't come, do you know how much that will cost PER DAY? What a waste." So I kind of started to cry and said "But it is YOU." He gave me the most precious look and said "Puppy, you don't HAVE to go. You are getting way too stressed out about this. Come to our reception in OKC and you are good. Further, you will be really crabby and no one wants to deal with that."
So that's that!
Yay! I'm glad it worked out...what a sweet friend! Now you can rest easy about it, and get excited to see all of their amazing pictures!