International Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby registry blues (vent)
(I know this is stupid. Sorry.) I started a registry a while ago and have been gradually adding things to it that people highly recommend or that I see and have really good reviews and seem useful. I know they're not all essential but I did put a lot of thought into each item. I got an email from a friend today (unsolicited) who has a 2 year old, basically picking apart the entire thing (there are about 50 items on it, it's not like I have a thousand things on there). She thinks I chose the wrong bottles, wrong crib mattress, should add a high chair, xyz is useless, this and that are too expensive. She didn't word it meanly (more like "I want to make sure you get the right things") but I'm feeling SO sensitive these days and the criticism really hurt. I've been a nanny for newborn twins and had lots of other kid experience, and I feel like people just think I'm stupid and know nothing because I don't have my own baby yet. Sigh. This mom stuff is already hard and I'm still 3 months from giving birth. I know I'm overreacting. But thanks for reading anyways :-/
Re: Baby registry blues (vent)
Well, at least you know you are overreacting.
Like you said, she didn't be mean about it and was probably trying to give you good advice based on experience. Try not to be emotional and take what she says on board. Ask her why she thinks certain products are better. She might be right and then again, you might have different needs for some products that she is not aware of. i.e. some versions of products might suit you better than they do her - does that make sense?
Or just ignore her.
This was my MIL.
At least I had the fact that she hadn't a child in several decades on my side. Some things she was completely wrong about, some things she was completely right.
I contacted my closest friend when I was looking for things and she gave me a very thorough list of everything she had experiences with and what her must-haves and just-skips were. She also bought me several things that were must haves for her. It's funny, because things that are must-haves for some people, just don't work for others. Even things like diaper brands or spoons and even within the same family. One kid loves car rides to get to sleep, the other sleeps through heavy metal concerts. You just never know.
I look at the lists people create on the bump of their must-haves and favorites and it's really rare that I have anything (or even needed anything) that was on their lists.
If there's something that you really were on the fence about, ask her her thoughts on it (if you want to know them). Otherwise, if she brings it up again just let her know that from your research, this is what you liked best and only when you put the things to use will you know for sure.
Bio
I bet if you translated the saying the lady would make it for you.
http://babybrewing.com/my-mom-doesnt-want-your-advice/
Bio
As Tofu said, every baby is different! I seriously went as close to bare bones as possible (with a few second hand things thrown in there and so far everything we have has been used (one of the beds we have was only used for a short time but it was due to DH).
One of the best things to learn it how to listen to the advice but nit hear it if you don't want it...like for us with diapers...everyone thought we were nuts for using cloth, so far we love it
She sounds really annoying. What works for one baby/family doesn't work for all. I'd probably disregard her comments.
I know there were a lot of things that people said we needed, but it didn't make a difference to us if we had them or not. I can be a bit of a pushy mom at times, but I try to keep my mouth shut unless I'm asked for advice on a certain product.
Can I just say there will many times when you will feel like a dumb mother who doesn't know anything. You have never been a mom before and this little insecurity happens to EVERYONE. So, maybe your friend was trying to be helpful, or a know-it-all. With everything that you read about child-rearing, you have to take somethings that my be valuable and apply to your family and throw the other stuff out. For me the not knowing stuff left me feeling highly insecure for the first four months of my kid's life and then for some reason I just didn't. I still didn't know anything about feeding solids, or illnesses, but I just felt better.
Look at your registry again, if it is what you want, keep it. If your friend's advice makes you question somethings, ask us or other friends and do some more research. Other than that, its your registry not hers.
I agree with PP's. Every baby is different and you just have to see what kind of preferences your LO has once here. We couldn't have survived her first 4 months without a swaddle, for example, and some babies scream bloody murder the second they're in one.
We also skipped a lot of the "must-haves," and C hasn't missed them.
It's true motherhood and parenthood are not always easy but just trust yourself. It's YOUR baby and your instincts will guide you 99% of them time.