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FSIL issue
My brother is getting married at the end of the year and while visiting us last weekend returning from a trip, he mentioned his fiancee was having her bachelorette party that day. He then quickly added her sisters planned it and it was small with the sisters and a few friends. Is it weird as the future sister-in-law that I didn't even get an email about it? The party was 3 hours away, but I could've driven there no problem. I've been around her and spent time with her on numerous occasions over the last couple of years and she stays at our house when visiting our side of the family. I'm also debating whether I should even mention to her that I thought not getting an invite was weird. Am I being overly sensitive about this? I have a good relationship with my sisters-in-law and they were at my bachelorette, but maybe it's just different families??? WDYT?
Re: FSIL issue
You are being overly sensitive about this. And bringing it up to her will not improve the chances you have a decent relationship with her.
I think it is odd that you didn't get an invite.
But, I wouldn't say anything about it. What's done is done.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I don't blame you for feeling a tiny bit slighted if you have a good relationship with her.
That being said, it sounds like it wasn't a personal slight against you. Her sisters organized it and kept it small, and they may not have even been aware that you would've wanted to go. Plus, you live three hours away ... and while it's really kind of you to have been willing to drive all that way, that's probably completely out of the norm. MH's relatives live over an hour away and I would've felt super-bad if they had traveled to my bachelorette because it was so out of the way for them.
I'm also debating whether I should even mention to her that I thought not getting an invite was weird.
DEFINITELY do not do this. They didn't owe you an invitation. It's going to make her feel weird and awkward if you bring this up (especially since it probably wasn't her decision). And it's going to make you come across as really needy and entitled if you ask what happened to your invitation. Even if it was a rude thing for you not to have received a party invite (which IMO it wasn't), it'd be even MORE rude of you to ask why you didn't receive one.
Just let it go. If you feel so inclined, offer to take her out for dinner or drinks - maybe with your mother and other female relatives - as a "welcome to the family" type of thing. Otherwise, say nothing about it and have a good time at their wedding, and at her shower if she has one.
Ditto everyone else- let it go and do NOT mention it to her.
Here's the thing - it's a party for HER. She may have really wanted a small party w/ truly her closest friends. She's allowed to have that! And plus, it's just a bachelorette party. I think a shower is more "important", and the wedding is obviously THE event.
But the b-party? This isn't something to get upset over or to let affect your relationship moving forward.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Are you close with her? Did you expect the invite because you are going to be related or because of your relationship with her? I wasn't invited to my FSIL's and she was not going to be invited to mine. We hated each other. She invited some girl she knew for a week - she just felt that they would make better friends and she and I ever would. I would have invited my other SIL though, and she lived 4 hours away.
I also think that, as the sister of the groom, you might not be wanted if they share any "TMI" stories, or games. It's not that they don't like you, but it's might be like having your mom at a party - you don't know how she will react, you don't want your fi to hear about anything that he REALLY doesn't need to know, etc.
Not that you aren't fun and super-cool, but you're still the sister of the groom, kwim?
My SIL was invited to my bachlorette party and chose not to come. I am not extremely close with her, but we are friends.
She made the choice not to come as she didn't know most of the people invited. I was fine with that, and if I wasn't invited to hers I would have no hard feelings. (She was married before I met my H so I didn't get an invite, lol, but if she wasnt I wouldn't think anything of it)
It depends on how close you are to her. Maybe it was just her closes life long friends that she wanted to have share her memories of her last night as a single woman. You never know...maybe there where things going on that she didnt want you to possibley tell her future hubby. Those parties can get out of control. Either way, if your eally are bothered by it just bring it up light heartedly, kinda joking so she dosent feel attacked. If you think she will get upset just forget about it and in the future you can make the decision whether you want to get closer or just leave your relationship with her up in the air. Then you can see how much she wants to be a part of your life.
Not weird you were not invited. Weird that you're all sensitive about it.
The bachelorette party is not part of the wedding ritual. It's a lighthearted 'wild' party thrown by close friends of the bride for a great night out. You're not a close friend of the bride, you're a soon to be inlaw. There's a difference. Let it go, say nothing, and get over it.
OK, I know the OP already stated that she's moving forward...but just in case someone is in a simliar situation....do not handle it like the above. It's passive aggressive at best. Who wants a relationship like that?
Over sensitive.
I did not invite SIL (DH's sister) to my bach-ette nor would I expect to attend hers. The last thing I needed was FSIL watching me get drunk.