September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
SP: Where Are You Being Too Soft?
From SoulPancake:
In the grocery store today I saw "Creamunchy" peanut butter. What the f*ck is that? Are we so soft that we can't even choose between crunchy and creamy peanut butter? I like my peanut butter CRUNCHY and I'm sorry if you can't take the heat!
Why are we so tepid? So mild? So PC and scared to confront, scared to offend, scared to stand up?
Example: I wish I could write bravely, boldly, fiercely, but I'm afraid of my readers. I know they're more conservative than I and probably wouldn't read what I write if I wrote what I wanted. I feel like a coward. I feel like I'm not making the world any better.
In what aspect of your life are you being too soft?
Re: SP: Where Are You Being Too Soft?
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I feel like I'm always trying to please other people. I worry about what they think, how they feel, and how my words/actions affect their lives. In a lot of ways, I'm proud of that, because I encourage and help others! But, sometimes.....I want to say/do whatever I want and have the attitude of "you can love me or hate me, and I don't care."
Example: I was asked to be in a friend's wedding that I really don't want to be in. I don't have the $ to buy the dress or shoes, so it's going on a credit card. My DH and I are in the process of getting out of debt, and to add to it makes me angry. On top of spending the money to get the dress.....I hate it. I love the color, but hate the shape/style of the dress. It looks horrible on me. I'm not a size 2, and my DD boobs are going to look gross in this dress. But, if I tell my friend all of these things, especially that I don't want to be in the wedding.....I know it will hurt her, and our friendship. SO, I smile and pretend everything is great.
Why can't I just say what I want/do what I want and not care? Am I so soft that I'm letting people walk all over me and my decisions?
I feel like sometimes I'm too soft at work. I take on lots of projects even when I'm busy because I don't want to say no and they'll cut into my off work time.
I am really working on it though because I feel like a lot of women are this way and I don't know that it really makes progress with things. I'm working on getting a better title and hopefully a raise right now, and I'm being more stern with people who break rules. I feel like being soft at work in a legal department doesn't really help you.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I actually have more of the opposite problem. I'm very opinionated and I dont' give in easily. I can't be soft with my clients or they would take advantage of me in a heartbeat. I can't be soft with my bosses/coworkers or people would forget about me and my little program over here. I have to be pushy so people remember I exist and get shiit done for me.
I don't sugar coat things with my family - my whole (extended) family, all my life, has these massive fights or annoyances with each other, they don't talk about it, then pretend nothing happened. Drives me CRAZY. I just can't be that way. I speak my mind, tell you what I think. Gets me in trouble sometimes with my family, but you know what, I'd rather that than the dysfunctional way they live.
I can be a pushover with Scott sometimes. I get so afraid of being a nag that I end up doing way more than my fair share sometimes. He's pretty good about helping out, but I'm not very good at saying something when he's not being very good about it.
this.
i have a soft spot for my husband.
This, with my husband. Also kind of what Shmoo-Lou was saying about always putting other people first, and worrying too much about their needs or what they are going to think. It is exhausting, but I am working on it and have begun to realize that it is OK to put my needs first sometimes.
Oh, thank goodness I'm not alone. Add me to this list, too. What I bolded is me exactly.