I've lurked on here for a while, and would greatly appreciate any advice that you have for me. I'm 21, DH is 22. He's in the AF, having just reenlisted for another 5 years; I finished my BA in May, and we got married in July. Needless to say, my lifestyle right now is a lot different from what it was just a few months ago (I lived with my mother), and I'm having a hard time getting used to it.
Since we got married while DH was en route PCSing from Japan, we only have one car right now (the one that was mine previously), which he needs for work; taking him to/from work and keeping the car is not really an option, as he works in a secure area to which I have no access. I'm unemployed; I haven't really been looking because of the car situation, and because we're accepting so many deliveries with getting set up we need someone at home, and also because I'm pretty sure that my degree isn't really worth anything anyway. So I'm spending all day in our apartment by myself, with basically nothing productive to do. I'm taking care of all of the cooking and cleaning and stuff (because really, I have nothing to do anyway), but there's only so much work to be done - and I would rather punch myself in the face than start scrubbing the floor on a daily basis or something. We also moved to the complete opposite side of the country from where I used to live (Arizona to Maryland), and I know nobody in the area. We live off base.
The social isolation is starting to really get to me. I'm pretty introverted, but there comes a point where I need to talk to someone face-to-face besides DH and store cashiers. I'm really bad at meeting people; I've always been extremely shy. I'm at a complete loss at this point. I love my H, and living with him is amazing after waiting for so many years, but if I can't get past this initial adjustment period I don't know how I'm going to make this lifestyle work.
Re: Adjusting
Find a job.
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I found myself in almost the exact situation right after H and I got married and moved. He was working long hours every day, lived off base, one car and it just wasn't feasible for me to drive him most of the time.
Get a job! I ended up getting a job at a Bruster's (ice cream shop) a short walk from our apartment. It was not, by far, my ideal job, but it got me out of the house and interacting with people. Also, there was free ice cream. If you can't find a job, maybe look into volunteering.
Get a hobby! Mine was (and, well, still currently is) World of Warcraft. It's very time consuming and I've actually made RL friends from playing.
Get a pet! I've found having my cats to be very comforting. It's not a replacement for human companionship, but it does help you feel less alone.
Take a class! I've been looking into taking a cake decorating class at Michael's since my H is deployed and I have some free time. Maybe you could work it out that you get the car one night a week so you can do something out of the house.
Does your H have any married friends? If so, he could invite another couple over for dinner.
I mean, there are a ton of things you could be doing. Wallowing around being lonely doesn't help anyone.
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Don't let what you are feeling start to affect your marriage, because it certainly could head in that direction with feelings of resentment towards him for being the reason for uprooting your life, etc., etc.
Definitely get a job. The car situation either has to be remedied or you need to find something within walking or even biking distance, it just has to happen. It will get you out of the house, making money, and MEETING PEOPLE! Can your husband hitch a ride with a friend a couple days a week or something? Or can you bring him on base and then a friend/coworker can pick him up at the gate (or wherever) and bring him to work so you can have the car the rest of the day. Your husband just can't (and I'm not saying he is this way) expect you to move across the country and not have a car, or a job, or friends, or anything. That's not fair, you guys need to reach a compromise.
Search for different groups on the base for spouses or something, get involved. Ask your husband if any of his coworkers have wives you can meet up with. Just don't let this feeling eat you alive!
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I could not go without a car for very long, I would go freaking crazy.
I am just going to echo what PP's have already said. Find a way to get out of your house, even if that means getting a special decal/id so you can drop your H off and pick him up.
I agree with the other ladies. Either get him to get you an access badge or get him to find a ride with someone a couple days a week so you can get out of the house.
Are you planning to buy a second car? That would be a good place to start. When we PCSed to our current station we only had one car and my quality of life improved drastically when we bought a second one.
Get involved in some of the spouses' groups on base. I accepted a board position with out OSC and that gets me out and about a lot and meeting new people. I've always been pretty introverted too, but just showing up to something is a great first step. Plus, a lot of those events and meetings happen at night so you can take the car when your H gets home.
I also joined a gym and I take classes there 4-5 days per week with one of my neighbors. Look into something like that. GL!