Rhode Island Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

AmyRI

Hope you had good luck today, and I wanted to share my own harrowing tale as a working/nursing mom-

The irony is that I'm actually pumping as I'm typing this. I'll try to be brief because this is a long story: I had my first child in January 2009 and I was working in Higher Ed. I worked at the most unfriendliest, unwelcoming place I've ever had the misfortune of setting foot in. I took my standard 13 wk maternity leave and returned. At the time I think they were expecting me to decide not to return- they were having major budget issues and that would have solved a problem for them, so I think the resentment started there. My husband was working at home, so during my lunch hour he drove to my private office on my first day back and I nursed my baby behind closed doors while I ate lunch. When I was done I ran into a few folks in the hall and they wanted me to bring G to the upstairs office so everyone could see him. Next day I get a msg from my supervisor (who was pretty nice) that the VP wanted to see me re: nursing. He was a guy in his mid 40's. Before I went, I printed out all the breastfeeding laws from the RI DEpt. of Labor website and went to his office. He sits me down and tells me that several of his employees have complained that they were distracted by  my bringing a baby through the office (mind you the baby was sound asleep when I brought him through), and they are uncomfortable with seeing me handle breastfeeding equip. in my office.

Me: Um..okay...can you tell me who these people are

Him: Oh, I don't know. But it's not ME

Me: Well, usually bringing in a baby is a simple act of comraderie

Him: Well, for every person that wants to see a baby, there are several others that DON'T

Me: (opening folder) well, perhaps you can give these "people" a copy of these breastfeeding laws on my behalf.  It is, in fact, illegal to harass a breastfeeding woman. Did you know that?

Him: (pauses) No.

Me: Well here, there's an extra copy for you then. Will that be all?

Him: Yes.

Me: Ok then, thanks.

 

I then marched back to my office and called HR to make an appt. I met with the HR director- a woman in her late 50's, and she was mortified. I think she told him to never speak another word to me again. I think she was afraid I would sue. I didn't, but I did start the job search right away, and I had to stick it out for another whole year but I finally found a nice job with nice people. Looking back I think he was shocked by my response, as I'm usually a very agreeable, go with the flow person. I think he was hoping to embarrass me enough that I'd just apologize and resign. But I hope you are able to resolve the current situation in a way that you feel comfortable. Good luck!

Re: AmyRI

  • Yikes! They do sound nuts, especially since you had our own office and were doing it privately! Glad you found a better place to work. I hope it doesn't come to that for me. I like working here, but I want to continue to bf and we'd like at least 1 more child, so there's a lot of pumping time left in my future.

    The craziest part about my work situation is that everyone in my department is great. The people I've told and asked for help from have been wonderful. But we don't have any empty offices or conference rooms, and we can't switch people around because it's government and there is a pecking order that must be followed. Everyone I've spoken to about this knows the laws, and knows that we don't comply... but they can't, or won't, do anything about it. I just have to wait it out...

    I actually have found that the Equal Employment Opportunity representative for women (we have reps for different ethnic groups, people with disabilities, and women) has been my best advocate. HR is supposed to be backing me up, but so far can't be bothered. The EEO rep gave me names and numbers of people to call with access to private conference rooms if I run into trouble, and they're going to help hold Facilities accountable for finishing the space on time, if not early.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

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