Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
"It's" a Chore
Thank you everyone for your sound advice. I really appreciate it. I'm only deleting the post because someone I know personally contacted me about it. You were all most helpful and I hope to post again in the near future!
Re: "It's" a Chore
I would suggest pre-marital counseling ASAP. This will not get better after you say I do. It will only mean that you will be married to the most difficult person in the world.
If he won't go to counseling, welcome to the rest of your life. The way he treats you will get worse, not better, after you say "I do."
You might want to reconsider getting married to, as you put it, "the most difficult person in the world."
Ditto the previous poster--welcome to the rest of your life. If this is how he treats you before the wedding, I shudder to think what you're in for when the honeymoon's over.
Run! Run hard and don't look back. There are billions of humans on this planet, and I know you can do better.
I think I'm engaged to the most difficult person in the world. I work 10 hour days, come home and cook dinner, clean house and wash dishes. He works 8 hour days and comes home and sits on his ass.
Might I ask why you are tolerating his laziness?
If he's lazy now, just wait until after you are married.
Be an equal partner, not his mum.
And you're engaged to this guy and this relationship is already on shaky ground.
This guy is NOT for you. He is lazy, he is not your equal and wow, you're not even sexually compatible.
Want my advice?
Dump him. He's lazy, he's useless and you and he are not sexually compatible.
Run...run far far away and NEVER return. you get what you settle for so do not settle for less. You could end up pregnant and it would be harder for you to leave. Imagine how lazy he will be with a baby when It's just you two right now. Get out now I am serious!
You will only get more bitter over the unfairness of what you do versus what he does.
I think if a man wants sex at night he should consider doing the dishes in the morning.
PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS
You and he are already at odds over who will do what -- he sits there and he lets you pull the entire load of the household work, the chores the cleaning and everything else?
He ought to be ashamed of himself.
I am also willing to bet that he lived with his parents before he got engaged to you. ANd that his parents did it all for him. Neurotic rents --- in our day, we had chores, duties to do, we took our laundry down; parents don't do this anymore and I say that's a real crime.
As I said, you are not his mum. And that he just sits there and lets you do it all shows me he not only has a maturity issue, he's got a huge character flaw.
You are not equals, you are sexually incompatible and he's a lazy little bum. Get rid of him. This "Relationship" won't work.
Next time when you're in the middle of a BJ, stop halfway through when he's near the brink and go "Oh no this won't work" -- give him a taste of his own medicine.
My DH and I have been married for 6 years. The first 2 were really rough. We finally got intensive couples counseling close to our second anniversary (it was that or divorce we were so unhappy). It truly changed our lives. We can talk to each other and listen without getting defensive immediately. We have a 2 y/o DH and are really enjoying our life together. It is completely possible to over come big problems but the bottom line is; it takes two people working hard to make a relationship work. If he's not willing to put in his 50% things will only get worse for you. I'm sure you love him very much but please consider wether this is the way you want to live the rest of your life. Until you decide that don't get married or have children, it will only make things harder.
GL